Psychosomatic Wit

Why Movies Make Us Cry

2012-01-05T11:55:00.008-06:00

First things, first - I have confessions to make. Sure, I haven't been here for a while. Yes, I know because of that, I am talking to myself. Finally, this particular blog post is somewhat of a revisit. I addressed this before, but I got to thinking about it again. Living alone, sometimes all I have are movies and songs to make me cry. Maybe that's a good thing.

Those of you who have read much of my blog know that I am a spiritual kind of guy. I think most questions in life have a spiritual component. This one ESPECIALLY does. I could be wrong about it; I'm no expert (on anything, for that matter). Feel free to disagree without consequence. But here is the reason movies, songs, books, etc. make us cry, as far as I see it:

I think it is a matter of communication and a reset of the soul. Life is difficult. We witness the hardness of the world on a daily basis; we see our soldiers dying in Afghanistan, car crashes that kill mothers and their babies, etc. We just can't stop and feel for these things all the time at the moment it intrudes into our brains. We have become calloused for survival's sake. Oh sure, every now and then it stops us in our tracks and touches us if the tragedy is particularly powerful or we are having a vulnerable moment, but for the most part, we simply do not have time to stop and cry over every tragedy and/or touching news story.

Movies, music, books, etc. grab us when we are not as busy. We are relaxed and have our emotional guards down. Our minds and souls get real with us and reset our emotions. It reminds us that we are feeling, compassionate beings. Without this outlet, I believe that compassion would wane altogether and the world would spin violently out of control.

What about the non-tragedy tears - the "tears of joy" phenomenon? I believe it is the same principle, different stimuli. The most significant part of the soul is the part that connects with other souls. There is something that transcends known science here that deeply effects our well being. We need to care about others. We need to feel connected to others in life, love and loss, dreams reached or shattered. Our humanity depends on it.

I believe God made us this way for our own survival and to remind us that there is something bigger than our own life and circumstance. It is mind-blowing when considering that there is something "unreal" by physical life standards that has more power than our current physical life state. It is this type of illogical emotion that humbles us and forces us to admit there is something bigger going on inside. The fact that there is something bigger than life makes us admit the possibility that something will ALWAYS be bigger than life - even when life as we know it ceases for us.

Admittedly, we often find a connection with fiction to our own lives and dreams that can prompt emotion. It is the attention getter. However, it is still fiction and we have our own lives to deal with. Yet, here it is - the passion, the tears, and the connection to the One big Mystery that created us this illogical way.

Depression and the Holidays

2010-12-15T10:19:00.009-06:00

Depression again has raised its ugly head on this blog. There is a ton of reasons for the timeliness of it. Among these reasons are the holidays, my personal experiences and the fact that it is an issue that just doesn’t go away. I introduced a post about the selfishness of depression in 2007. It is the most searched post on my blog and still garners comments and discussion today – although it was written over three and half years ago.

The holiday season is tough on a lot of people. I used to be a person that was baffled to hear about all the depression around Christmas. “Really? You can’t find something to be happy about with the giving, the carols, and all that Yule-tide jazz? Sheesh, even the cursed snow that causes traffic accidents and wet floors is celebrated around this time of year!”

Now, I am one of those people. Ever since my divorce in 2008, Christmas has been tough on me. Christmas lends itself to family and tradition. A broken marriage and loneliness in the wake of “fa la la la la” is a horse pill. It is that stinging loneliness, too, the kind you feel in the midst of a crowd. Then when you finally think you’re over the Christmas family stuff and the New Years non-kiss fall out, “BOOM,” Valentines Day hits just to trash what is left of your gut. Yeah, I get it now. As I mentioned in my last post, I now have a girlfriend , but it looks as though it won’t change any of these latest holiday practices and feelings for me.

Next time, I will update the original post and subsequent discussion. Depression affects a lot of people and unlike small pox, it will never go away. All we can really do is talk about it let those that are affected and the people around them know that they aren’t alone – even if it feels like it.

The More Things Change; The More They Stay the Same

2010-12-09T15:39:00.006-06:00

Wow! I can't believe that I hadn't blogged since Tax Day in the USA. I apologize. It has been so long, I feel like I have to test the equipment. (**Blow, Blow**) Is this thing on?

I think that I may be able to get back into blogging - or at least improving the every 8 months thing I got going now. My internet situation has changed for the better. That was the big thing.

I will refrain from going into the NEWS FLASH right off the bat. However, I will touch on at least a little that has been going on. Per my previous post, Andrea and I are still "together". I quote together, because we seldom are. Logistics are hell. It is more complicated than anyone can imagine. And to protect her privacy, I will not go into detail about it. Let's just say it is difficult. I do want to squelch the idea that there is anything inappropriate going on with the logistics - just so your imagination doesn't run away with you.

Anyway, we are working on improving the logistics (I know that I am using the word "logistics" way too much, but let's see you find a synonym for it). Sometimes it seems hopeless and that is the hard part. I have to admit that the approaching holidays doesn't make it easier to bear. For those of you that haven't kept up with this blog, or care to just look back, the holidays have been particularly tough on me since my divorce over two years ago. Facing this season may be as tough because everything I have been dreaming and hoping for is right there in my life - just not in my reach. Even harder is the thought that I don't believe it HAS to be that way. However, she does for now. I have to accept that. It is her logistics, not mine and that makes her more of an expert on them. Still, it is tough.

To the naked eye, it is impossible to see signs of hope. So, with that, please excuse me while I play Sherlock Holmes and grab my magnifying glass and look for signs of logistics improvement.

Who Can Change Destiny?

2010-04-15T12:56:00.006-05:00

Good things happen to those who wait. Well, I have waited
. . . more years than most for this good, no wait, GREAT thing. Yet, it happened. I am not use to writing this kind of post. I sort of feel like a fish out of water even attempting it, but before the entire ship can reach a destination, the rudder must be steered. I need to steer my ship away from skepticism and disappointment. Some people find that place; why not me?

There is a woman that walks this planet that is truly the love of my life. She is now and really, always has been. I met her my freshman year in college. Since college, I often went back to visit her in my memories. There I would always find her in the American Movie Classics channel of my mind - the sweet, charmingly quirky Andrea. However, the "movie" always ended bitter sweet. I have written about her a couple of times previously in this blog - here and here.

I remember the very first day of class my freshman year. There I wandered wide-eyed at a huge, midwestern university. Finding my way to my afternoon Introductory to Philosophy class, I quickly found a seat next to Mike who I befriended in another class earlier in the day. There we sat in a huge lecture hall that contained about 450 seats. The professor was making his way to the front, adjusting his microphone looked up to survey the overflowing crowd. Mike and I looked over the throng of students, too. They were bustling and were responsible for the roar that would prevent a normal conversation between friends.

Then, there she was - Andrea, although her name was a mystery to me at the time. She came floating in from the back of the hall. Noticing that there were no seats to be found, she gracefully found a place on a step in the aisle about 12 feet to my left.

Once my eyes found her making her way to her spot, they couldn't leave her. The room changed. It was no longer a rowdy bunch of college freshmen; it was an empty dim-lit room with a spotlight on this beautiful, petite, blond girl with a magical charm that was conjured just for me. No more was there a roar from the crowd but in its stead was an angelic chorus. I was bitten, but bad.

I leaned over and elbowed Mike and said, "See that girl there?"

He replied, "Of course! Everyone sees her."

I, with great certainty, announced, "Well, I am going to marry her."

"Is that your girlfriend?" he asked with disbelief.

"Not yet, but the day is young."

The funny thing is that I wasn't being cocky. I was just sure that she was THE ONE. When people scoff at "love at first sight", I grin. I know it is true. Even today, years later, I still know it. I hadn't talked to her in such a long time but recently that has changed - changed in a grand and dramatic way. My AMC has lit up and I have no plans on changing the channel.

TOP TEN REASONS THAT JESUS HATES HEALTH CARE REFORM!

2010-04-10T19:10:00.002-05:00

I have noticed that most of my Christian friends are up in arms over the health care reform that was just signed into law by the president. It dawned on me that perhaps Jesus hates health care reform. However, I couldn't figure out why. So, I wracked my brains and came up with following list (with apologies to David Letterman) - the TOP TEN REASONS THAT JESUS HATES HEALTH CARE REFORM!

10. The unwelcome competition for healing.

9. Concerned that the number of prayers from the desperately infirmed will take a hit.

8. Doesn't want to upset His base.

7. Afraid that His own "Millstone" clause will have to be amended to include little ones up to age twenty-six (Luke 17:2).

6. Doesn't want Democrats to take credit for His "love thy neighbor" policy.

5. Fox News told Him to.

4. Likes to be exclusive when it comes to pardoning pre-existing conditions.

3. What's next, feed the hungry?

2. Afraid that the expense of it will cut into His Armageddon War Chest!

And the number one reason Jesus hates the new health care reform . . .

1. It's not clear, but He is sure it has SOMETHING to do with abortion.

Men Die Early

2010-03-07T08:37:00.004-06:00

Today I woke up before 4 am. After writing something cryptic on my Facebook status, I got dressed and started walking east. It was completely dark when I headed out and when it became completely light, I stopped, turned around and made the long trek back home. During that walk, I dissected life – my life, a man’s life and obtained some understanding.

You would think with understanding, comes peace. Not this time. It is akin to knowing something is wrong in your body and not being able to find the source and then after tests and tests, discovering that you have terminal cancer. Sure, there is clarity, but no peace.

So as I walked, I looked around at house after house – each with its own story that I wasn’t privy to. I looked at rock and flower gardens that someone painstakingly created. I saw new cars in driveways, satellite dishes, and fancy shrubbery. I saw newly built porches with Cracker Barrel rockers. I saw many things. It stuck in my gut in the realization that it was all vanity.

People, they have to escape, don’t they. They find their pleasures in toys, rockers and gardens. The image of a “nice home” is their drug of choice. I was on the outside looking in and found myself longing for their blissful ignorance.

Women have it easier in the area of coping with life’s tragedies and disappointments. Creating flower gardens or decorating a room or house just so is only part of their soul therapy. They also combine that therapy with a good crying session alone and with their girlfriends (they can even call their friends “girlfriends” because there is no shame when seeking emotional support if you have the double “X” chromosomes). They get their good cry in, they spend a couple of hours putting together additions to their scrapbooks, and they are good to go. God bless you women.

For men, it is a whole different set of circumstances. Working in the garage, or doing some kind of construction project on the house IS the whole ball of wax. There is no “good cry” or ice cream session with their friends. Why? They do it because there is a code. The code says that you don’t eat ice cream, you eat your angst. You don’t have support from your friends, because they are under the code, too, and they will not allow you or themselves to be “less than men.” No, men strive to be Donald Draper! We eat our angst and die early when the poison finally consumes us.

Of course, we do have the exceptions. There are those that cry with friends (usually with female friends or other “less than real men” types). Some join men’s support groups where there is chanting and drumming and “sharing.” However, society at large makes fun of these groups, don’t they? So that, in the long run, is just extra pressure and the “less than real men” label to boot.

Women tend to support men for reaching out and dealing with their emotions. They “respect” that. They just don’t want to “marry” that, do they? Women, with few exceptions, want a “real” man. A man that is always strong that they can feel safe with - a man that does not show his vulnerabilities, eats his angst, and dies early with a healthy pension and life insurance policy.

So, I and the like minded, continue on that path. We would rather die early as a man than live long as something “less.” I was concerned that I may be enlightening some of these men and ending their blissful ignorance. Then I realized that few “real” men read blogs. They would rather be in the garage nailing a couple of pieces of wood together.

As for the females reading this, show a little more compassion today for your dying men. And if you want to argue with me about my assertions here, you have already missed the point.

Connecting to the Past

2010-02-01T10:36:00.003-06:00

Life is funny. Sometimes it creates a window to your past. In this window you can see and be connected to a part of your life that you thought was long gone. You can visit the past, but you are just a voyeur. Your life is plainly on YOUR side of the wall.

Sometimes life creates a door to your past. You can actually walk through – be a moving and changing part of it. You can actually complete unfinished business and make not so happy page breaks, into a story with a happy ending.

However, sometimes life only creates a picture of your past that can only be hung on a very secure wall of the present. You can look at it, but you can’t effect it.

It takes wisdom to see what you are actually looking at. Wisdom comes with age, but visiting the past sometimes removes that age-given wisdom. Instead, it takes you back to a pre-wisdom place.

Life isn’t so funny after all.

Life

2009-12-30T18:58:00.001-06:00

Lives and dispositions are changed at a moment’s notice.

Friends are our best friends and then they are gone.

You are in love, out of love, never was in love, You don’t even know what love means.

Always searching for answers, question God, don’t question God. How dare you to think you could question God?

Selfishness . . . everyone with their own agendas, you don’t want to be selfish, you want to be selfish, how dare you be selfish? We have to survive, don’t we?

We want to be touched, we don’t want to be touched, how dare you expect me to touch you? It isn’t our brains, but our spirits that long to be touched.

Life . . . just try to live it.

An Unlikely Meeting

2009-12-23T14:02:00.003-06:00

The coffee shop was mainly empty when the stranger entered. Most patrons had gone home to be with their families now that the holiday was winding down. As the new visitor looked around, he recognized Tom Trindle paying his check. Harry Lemke was talking on his mobile phone at the counter as Mr. Trindle walked passed him and out the door without even a glance the stranger’s way. The new arrival made his way to a booth in the back. There he sat across the table from a man still in a Santa suit sipping hot chocolate and eating a blueberry muffin.

Harry, still on the phone was oblivious to the two characters seated at the back corner booth, but Stella the waitress was not. She had already waited on Santa and found him friendly enough to earn the bells on his hat. She didn’t know what to make of the strange man now seated with him dressed in a robe and sandals – odd enough in principle but particularly so this time of year. She took him a glass of water. The stranger smiled at her and offered his thanks as he called her by name. Stella slightly taken back by the fact that this visitor knew her name inquired, “Who are you supposed to be, Jesus?”

The stranger replied, “I am.”

Stella mustered an uncomfortable smile as she made her way back to the counter for she knew that the stranger required nothing more than the water and didn’t look like he could pay for more than the price of "free" anyway.

“I always wanted to meet you,” Santa said. “You are the reason I’m here.”

“Some say it is so for godly reasons; others say ungodly,” replied Jesus.

Santa spoke up, “I assure you sir, I have only the most honorable of intentions. I make all the boys and girls know that the night before Christmas is the most special time of the year. I picked your day to show generosity and love to all people.”

“Do you not think that you have replaced me in many ways in the lives of the children and their parents?” asked the bearded man.

“I cannot control the minds of the people. I can only be what it is that I am.”

Jesus smiled, “You are my seed that is planted in the children’s hearts. The crops that grow from you will only be realized when the children are older – if they are watered and nurtured.”

Santa exhaled in great relief. “I am glad that you see me that way. I do not want any glory for myself. I only want to devote my being to loving and giving. We are a lot alike in that way, do you not think, Teacher?”

Jesus replied, “As there are attributes we have in common, there is one major difference between us that can never be bridged no matter how much faith the people have.”

Santa smiled sweetly, “I know, Master. You do not need to say any more.”

At that instant, Stella looked up to see an empty booth. She rushed over to see if on this Christmas evening, she would actually get stiffed for the $2.25 owed to her. She discovered on the table a five-dollar bill and a profound sense of peace.

Non Health Care, Real Estate Woes, and Death

2009-12-18T22:18:00.000-06:00

News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________

NEWS - I heard a despicable ad about health care reform recently. It was so twisted and deceptive. Insurance companies will do anything to scare people away from their profits. Why so many protect the interest of companies that depend on finding ways to deny folks health care in order to maximize profits, I will never know. I guess we get what we deserve. Now, this latest health care bill is useless. The Republicans do not want any bill at all, and mainstream Democrats just want SOMETHING at this point. However, the SOMETHING will cause more harm than good. Without a public option or a medicare buy-in, this bill will require everyone to buy insurance from insurance companies without controlling the cost. Instead of holding insurance companies accountable, this bill will give it a boon! Everyone hear deserves blame. Republican Congress for not caring about the health care of its constituents and poisoning their weak-minded, puppet followers, the Democratic Congress for compromising everything this reform was suppose to accomplish just so they can say they did something, and the president for not showing the leadership to see something good through!

ENTERTAINMENT - Dexter on Showtime is one of the most original and well written television programs that I have ever seen. It is more than a show about a serial killer. It is about the darkness of the human spirit and the search for normalcy among the shrieking cries of the soul. It is scary to think about, but there is a Dexter in all of us.

WRITING - As you can see, I am trying to resurrect this blog. It is hard because everyone in my blog community (save a couple) are no longer blogging. It appears that I am a man in the wilderness again.

SPIRIT - I have mixed feelings about this today. I am glad that I am not alone, yet I feel alone. I have had a tide of bad luck lately. I don't believe God is a genie that bombards us with material gifts and good fortune. I also know that hard times is a gift of sorts, because it improves the spirit and character. However, even "good things" such as these lessons are bad in excess.

FAMILY - My family has been getting more distant from each other. Individual problems and interests have broken off contact. I hate it. We used to have the best holiday get togethers. This year, for Thanksgiving, I took my mom and sister out to eat. Pathetic. Now, they want me to host Christmas. I don't want to for a ton of reasons, but I bet I will. Someone has to do something!

LOVE - Love takes a holiday - and leaves me behind. It is weird to approach the holidays without someone. Last year was my first Christmas season without my wife. My emotions were still such a train wreck that I couldn't even think about it much, just react - negatively. This year is different. I can meditate on how much it sucks!

ANGUISH - Is this part even necessary this time? See the rest of this post for this part.

SPORTS - My Bengals are in first place. That would be good, if A) they weren't playing so poorly as the playoffs approach; and B) one of their good young players hadn't died yesterday in an incident involving falling out of a moving truck. Sheesh! RIP, Chris Henry.

HOME - as per our agreement, I am getting nearer to closing on the house my ex-wife and I lived in. I am buying it from her. In the meantime, the person living at my other house has apparently stolen power from the utility company and now I am facing THAT bill in addition to not having power during the winter months there!

So, how are you?

Happiness or Joy

2009-12-12T22:10:00.005-06:00

I have been pondering it lately. Happiness I think is a current state while joy is something intangible, but more permanent. If that is the case, people search too much for happiness and ignore the joy in a vain search to accumulate the
happiness to achieve joy. I just don't think it works that way.

My mind takes me on a journey. In this journey, I have no money and I am alone hundreds of miles away from home. I have to sleep under bridges and beg or raid trash
cans for food. I am struggling and very unhappy. However,
I know that I have a home. All I need to do is endure till
I get back there. I need to go home - home, where I have
shelter, food, friends and family that love me. Knowing
that I have that home waiting for me gives me peace - an
overall joy.

If my mind takes me away again on a similar voyage where I can
contrast happiness and joy. This time, I am still poor and
homeless, but I do not have a home anywhere, no family, no
anything. I am unhappy and unjoyful. But then, a stranger
comes up and gives me a $20 bill. It makes me happy
because the money represents food for a couple of days.
That is a great thing for someone in such shape. It makes
me happy. So now, I am happy, but still joyless. Joy is
more eternal.

When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrow like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul.

~Horatio Spafford

Love, the Concept

2009-12-05T20:00:00.008-06:00

The word "love" is thrown around a lot without much consideration.
Wise are those who profess that they have never been in love.

They aren't wise because they chose not to be in love - for it is not
of their choosing. They are wise because love is such a powerful
and enigmatic thing that they don't want to throw the word around
if they are unsure.

Infatuations and crushes are not even in the same caliber with true love.
However, they are often mistaken for love by the naive. People get a
funny feeling in their heart (or more accurately, stomach) and BOOM
they pronounce it love. Hardly.

Love is permanent and it is painful. Love attaches itself to you as
though you have discovered another part of your body that was previously
hidden from your perception. It operates in every system of your body and
you soon discover that it is necessary for survival - even when it is injured.

Love is eternal. You cannot fall OUT of love with anyone. That is like saying,
"I use to have a heart, but now I do not." If you think you used to be in love
but now you are not, you are mistaken. It was never love but something else.

How do you know if you are in love? The feeling (and I use that term way to loosely for it is much more that), when examined,
is patient. It will wait forever for the fruition of the relationship for it sees no other choice. There are no ultimatums in real love.
It also keeps no record of offenses and never holds the offender permanently accountable. It is a ONE-WAY street. It only flows
away from you. If love flows to you it is only because it comes from another's one-way street.

Love motivates toward a relationship. A relationship is steadfast work. Therefore, love motivates work. If you are lazy at your
relationship, you probably aren't in love with anyone. Love is inconvenient but is worth all the problems. Finally, love separates
us from the world in which we are confined. It is the only thing that can remove us from this awful place we live and allows us to
dwell in a higher plane of existence.

These things are components of real love and they ALL must be present for it to be considered love. One or two of these
attributes are not enough. Love is only fashioned by the divine.

Pig Knuckles

2009-08-13T09:11:00.004-05:00

This is a blog post. If I wrote about what I was thinking about a lot, it would be about the health care debate. Of course, it would ALWAYS be about the health care debate. So, that is why I am filling up this space with a little bit of nothing today. I understand that a lot of people are sick of hearing about health care. So randomly, I will discuss something else.

It is always easy to talk about things we don't like, yes? Here is one thing I don't like. It bothers me when people say, "You're fine." This phrase seemed to surface a few years ago, I guess, because I don't remember hearing it all my life. What am I talking about? I will give you an example, you are at a department store looking at vests on a rack. So enthralled with a particular vest, are you, that you are oblivious to the woman who is trying to squeeze behind you to get by until she is painfully close. As you squeeze further into the rack of vests, you say, "Oh, I am sorry, I was totally into the complexities and intricacies of the design in the weaving of this fabric in this tantalizing vest to notice you." The lady answers, "You're fine."

Hate it. Don't know why. It seems condescending or something. I don't know. I do know that all of you will disagree with me because ALL OF YOU SAY IT.

That's my problem, though. I will have to avoid all "excuse me" situations or just simply get over myself.

A Tale of Two States

2009-06-25T15:28:00.006-05:00

There is a pretty big rivalry between Indiana and Kentucky around these parts. In the Evansville, IN metropolitan area, there are two decent sized Kentucky towns: Owensboro and Henderson. I hear plenty of jokes that find the natives of the "other" state the butts. Depending on which side of the Ohio River you are, determines on whether you hear a Kentuckian joke or a Hoosier joke.

Why did they build the bridge between Evansville and Henderson? So Kentuckians can swim across in the shade. Not to be outdone, the editor of the Henderson Gleaner publishes a Hoosier joke every week. It is all in fun till someone gets hurt.

Indiana knows about injury. In 1997, Indiana went to class basketball. Before then, the high school basketball tournament was legendary. All schools, big and small, played for one title. The championship game was carried on ESPN every year and the movie Hoosiers was based on a small school that conquered the giants. Hoosier Hysteria was known from sea to sea. Now? There are four classes of high school basketball, four state champions and exactly four people who actually care about Indiana high school basketball. My friends in Kentucky were quick to jump, "I knew you hoosiers were stupid, but not THAT stupid."

Fast forward to 2009. Kentuckians get their comeuppance. As basketball is/was to Indiana, horse racing is to Kentucky. Because of river boat and other casinos in the area, horse race wagering has been down in the commonwealth. The solution? Expand the betting experience at these tracks, to include slot machines or even video poker.

So, the governor and the legislature got to work. They aren't going to let the "Sport of Kings" die out in the bluegrass state, are they? Yes they are. Every measure has been defeated in the legislature by one party (guess which one).

This isn't about gambling. It is about history, tradition and an institution. It is about hoosier hysteria Kentucky style.

So far the fallout has been that Ellis Park in Henderson is announcing that this is its last season after 80-some odd years as a cultural and economic staple. Even major players like Churchill Downs, the home of the Kentucky Derby, are taking a hits over it. Some major players are moving their operations to other states. The eight horse tracks in Kentucky will be fewer. Ellis Park is the first to announce, but probably not the last.

So, now hoosiers get their chance to laugh at the stupid Kentuckians. However, no one on either side of the river seems to find it funny.

Socialism, Different Strokes for Different Folks

2009-06-18T15:16:00.002-05:00

It has been a while since I had my old trusted NEWS FLASH. There is no way I am going to be able to catch up. That, I trust, will come about slowly over time. However, I will take more of a snapshot of what is going on right now.

NEWS - For those of you with a memory, it won't be surprising to know that healthcare reform is the topic I would choose to cover in this segment. President Obama, who promised reform, cannot emphasize enough that for those people satisfied with their insurance and healthcare, they don't have to change anything. However, the public is getting pelted with scare tactics about (shutter) SOCIALISM!! (pardon me while I go lock the doors!). Not only is he not talking about a single-payer system like the backward, third world countries like France and Great Britain have, he is just trying to get everyone covered with an affordable plan. However, since socialistic medicine is so bad, I think I am going to get my mother off Medicare since that is what IT is. Plus, maybe I should lead a crusade to get all of the socialistic things out of our society. Join with me while I opt out of police and fire protection in addition to shredding my library card. Sheesh! In insurance companies we trust!

ENTERTAINMENT - My latest guilty pleasure is Fear.net. It is on my cable system as a free on-demand option. These movies are great in some way. They don't seem to be low-budget, but some of the acting is a little bad. However, they are fun and entertaining. I suggest Dee Snyder's Strangeland. Snyder, best known as the front man from Quiet Riot, wrote, produced, directed, and starred in this thing. Quite entertaining despite it being kind of . . . bad.

WRITING - Obviously, the blog is back. I am still wrestling with opening it up to everyone. Previously, I had blog people, and real life people and never the two met. My fear is that the worlds will collide or worse, I sensor some subject matter to spare people's feelings or sensitivities. Just don't know . . .

SPIRIT - I am finding that I am a different person, spiritually, since my divorce. I wouldn't say that I am weaker in faith, I just have a shift in priorities. As a matter of fact, I think my faith is stronger. I never felt I was a legalist (a person who strictly follows the rules for rules sake). However, I am even less of one now. I believe too strict a lifestyle retards communion with God. In a since, following the rules becomes one's God. So, I follow my inner conviction more, and fundemental teaching, less. Of course, this may just be a phase I am going through as a part of healing. I am open.

FAMILY - My sister had a major stroke last week. It was quite a miracle, according to her physician (if you can believe that). The doctor came in after reading her MRI and other test results and claimed to be dreading talking to the family because she expected my sister to be quite severely affected (perhaps even comatose or vegetative). However instead, she was alert and conversing with us. She is confused and has forgotten a lot of things, but she is far ahead of what the doctor expected. He said, "People throw this word around too much, but this, indeed, is a miracle!"

LOVE - Love is never the same after a divorce. There is fear and ego damage and an ever-guarded attitude. I have seen a few people, but it is too soon to tell what is going to happen with the latest one. I am really not completely sure about what I even want.

ANGUISH - I have been trying to buy the house I lived in with my wife. She owned it before we married; it is in her name. The bank (who presently shall remain nameless) had a good deal going for me. Then, nothing! I was supposed to close on May 15, but I haven't heard anything. All my phone calls since then have been unanswered. I stand to lose a great interest rate and a $200 application fee if this falls through. I understand there is a deadline for the rate lock, but I am not sure what it is. I am sure that if it expires, it isn't my fault. There will be hell to pay.

SPORTS - Sadly, I was on hiatus during some of the best sports times. We missed the Superbowl, and the Kentucky Derby and the fact that I was even present at the NASCAR Bristol Food City 500 and the Indianapolis 500 Time trials. Well, I guess I covered it after all - sort of.

HOME - I finally have someone in that cursed house I need to get rid of. He has the same deal the last guy had except a better one for him. What it is, is that he lives there at a VERY discounted rate in exchange for helping me improve the property for future sale. The difference is that this guy comes recommended by someone that knows him well. He works in construction and apparently can do about anything. I am optimistic. At some time in the future, I will address what happened to the last guy. It is quite a story.

The Return of the Psycho or is it another False Positive?

2009-06-16T09:00:00.003-05:00

I would like to think this is the beginning of a new era for my blog. I miss blogging and expressing my frustrations, joys, and opinions. I also greatly miss the exchanges with people that I learned to care about - those of you that would give a few precious moments of your lives just to see what might be on my mind.

I don't know if I would have ever stopped if I didn't really care if it was a decent post or not. I felt responsible for writing something that most people could tolerate reading. When life became too tough, it was too much for me to be able to insure that. So, I let it go.

I am not sure that I can let go of that blog value yet, but perhaps enough time has passed that I can at least satisfy my self-imposed standards and fire this puppy back up. We will see.

When I do get this thing chuggin' along again, it has to start somewhere. It might as well be here.

American Idol - Analyzed.

2009-05-21T09:58:00.003-05:00

In an upset of sorts, Kris Allen edges out Adam Lambert. Some people wonder how this happened. For many, it was obvious that Adam was the more talented vocalist and was much more polished a performer. Here is my take:

1. The judges all but handed him the title before. Fans do not like to be dictated to as far as voting. So, there was some spite votes.

2. Kris got the "cute" vote. All the 13 year-old girls voted for Kris a thousand times each. The only ones that voted for Adam probably fall in the gay/bi/curious category.

3. In the real vs fake contest, Kris won that contest. Call me skeptical, but I doubt a lot of people who like "the genuine deal" would vote for plastic-looking, eye-lined, polished Adam. That doesn't mean he didn't deserve the votes, just that he didn't get them from that group.

3.a A subset of the above reason are those who was really pulling for Danny Gokey. Because of the above reason, I believe Kris took the Gokey vote.

AND

4. It recently came out (in the proper circles), that Kris is a Christian and was somewhat active in his church's ministry. Christians just LOVE to vote for their own kind. The fact that this wasn't universally known eliminated the counter-Christian vote which is more visible, if not in high number.

Everything in life seems to be about things other than what they are supposed to be on face value. The fact is that Adam should have won it if it was purely a singing contest. I don't know if I should be ashamed or not, but I was content with the outcome.

I'm Back . . . at School

2009-01-06T16:35:00.005-06:00

My name is Jeff and I am a slagger (blog slacker). Now that there is a new year and somewhat of a new me, I am going to give it another go. Things will hopefully be a little different this time around.

I have a few New Year's blog resolutions. One is that I am going to let my sense of humor flow more. I had lost my sense of humor for a while. However, I found it in the wall safe where my wedding picture was hanging. When she took the picture, she left my sense of humor intact. It was just a matter of finding it and reclaiming it. Thanks, dear.

I feel different these days. I laugh . . . a lot. I used to laugh some, but somehow deep in my soul I really knew it was a nervous laugh. The laugh of someone unsure about life, living, love and even laughter. The four l's . . . that wasn't intentional. I just love it when a plan comes together like that.

Are the goings on in my life better now than they were four or five months ago. Nope, not really. In some ways, they are worse. It just doesn't effect me like it used to. I know that a person is not the sum of his circumstances. He is the sum of his make-up. I was made up of rouge for far too long. Now my cheeks have the warm glows of yellows and golds. I hope everyone knows that this is an analogy.

Then there is providence. As God helps me heal and return to a normal guy, He also tells me things I need to know and insists on keeping me accountable. I am not a big fan of His methodology all the time, but I know how valuable it is for Him to keep tapping me as I start to feel a little cocky about healing.

For instance, last night I watched the movie "Hancock". It is really two stories. There is a scene in the first part that rattled my cage a little. It was God reminding me that although healing takes place, the scars will always be there. Scars are not to be ignored; that is why God puts them there forever. That scene and God's prompting will make me a better person.

Lessons . . . school is always in session. Excuse me while I make some spit balls and sharpen my pencils in order to stick them into the ceiling for this afternoon's festivities! Hey, lessons will still be learned, but I am still going to have my devious fun from time to time.

Got a Hammer?

2008-11-19T16:07:00.003-06:00

I really think I will be blogging more relatively soon. Life is REALLY getting in the way. There is one problem right after another that just consumes my concentration. It isn't the deep blows it used to be when I was closer to the divorce, but it is still mind-consuming - therefore keeping me busy.

I had in mind today to do one of my fun-type posts. I had one in mind, but yet another obstacle robbed me of that mood. I am not in a terrible mood, just a distracted one. It is like the blog gods just don't want me to move forward with this.

This blog reminds me of a house that one saved up for and moved into. It was new and exciting at first with plenty of ideas to do fun things with it. I was going to take out that one wall in the back and make a huge game room. I was going to add flooring in the attic and make that workout room.

However, like time, business and conflicts do to house dreams, they also did to this blog. I look at it and think: forget the game room, I just need to get the dripping faucet fixed. Workout room in the attic? Look at those gutters barely hanging on. I have to clean them out and re-attach them. Yep, this puppy has run down. No wonder the neighbors don't come by much anymore.

So, as I am standing out front and looking at this run-down blog, I know that I have to get busy on it. I think I will, just not at the pace I wanted to. One day, though . . . . one day, I will get that game room. You just wait!

History, The Shack, and a Healthy, Loveless Life

2008-11-11T08:53:00.006-06:00

News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________

NEWS - I am thrilled at the results of this election. Even SOME people that I know that voted for McCain seem to understand the significance of this election - in a positive way. A majority of the citizens of the US put an African-American into the highest office in the country - perhaps the most powerful position on the planet. THE PEOPLE put him there! At last, there is hope that EVERYONE is invited to the table. When one sees the face of a minority on the television screen, it just may be the president of the United States, and not an example of one of the negative stereotypes that unfairly rose to the attention of the masses. That is huge. What touched me the most, is a story I heard on one of the news channels where it was heard that African-American man stated that he could finally look in his young son's eyes and proclaim, "Son, you can be ANYTHING you want to be in this country," and be able to surely mean it.

ENTERTAINMENT - I am VERY motivated now to read The Shack by William P. Young. A lot of people who have read it give it glowing reviews. However, that is not why I want to read it. It is those people who are attempting to expose it as heresy that is causing me to shell out bucks at Barnes and Nobles tomorrow and pick up the thing. Some critics give no allowances for literary license and their critiques sound very dogmatic. I am not a fan of legalistic dogma. I think people miss out too much on blessings by whining about anything that strays from a textbook approach to spirituality. It reminds me of the time when the movie, The Last Temptation of Christ came out and a high number of religious groups were up in arms over it. Most of them, by their own admission, had not even seen the movie. Of course, I had to see it. Guess what? It wasn't the most exciting movie I had ever seen. It certainly was not thoroughly consistent with the Scriptures, but it was far from heresy. It offered a literary approach to the humanity of Christ instead of the robot-like God-Jesus we were all used to seeing in previous movies. I see the criticism of The Shack perhaps being in that same light.

It reminds me of two different people seeing a happening on the street and comparing notes. One saw a vehicle going way over the posted speed limits and even crossing the center line from time to time and generally being a menace to every law-abiding driver on the roads. The other saw an ambulance rushing to save a life. I wonder how I will see The Shack.

WORK (or writing in this case) - My big project is starting slow. Life's distractions are the enemy of creativity and production. I always wanted to move to Montana by myself and set up a home office to be able to write without distraction. That probably will not happen, but I am determined to carry on nonetheless.

SPIRIT - My common theme for the spirit is and will remain "surrender":

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.

FAMILY - I am getting a little concerned about my mother. The other morning, I found her hours before she normally gets up. She was dressed and ready to go. She was concerned that none of her kids were there to be ready for the party. It took me a couple of hours to convince her that there was no party and that she had dreamed the whole thing. It takes her too long to differentiate between reality and dreams sometimes. She always comes out of it, but exclaims, "It was so real." I wonder if there will ever be a day that she just doesn't come out of it. God forbid.

LOVE - Frankly, I am just avoiding it. I am usually a humble kind of guy, but I am just not going to give love so freely - not that special someone kind of love. The more women I meet, the more I realize that most are not worthy of what I have to give. I am the type of guy that will treat my significant other like a queen. I will spend every day thinking of her first - trying to make her day better, every day. I try to give her a reason to smile on a daily basis. I want her to count on laughter when she's that I am on the phone - especially if she needs that lift. I never allow the prospect that she feels unimportant or unloved. She will never doubt my feelings and affection for her. That is just my nature - the way I think everyone should be. However, I am tired of casting my pearls before the swine. I am just not going to do it anymore.

ANGUISH - My tenant! Actually he moved out, had the power turned off, but didn't tell me any of it. He still has stuff in there - some of it valuable. However, he hasn't paid for October, let alone November. I am going to have to change the locks.

SPORTS - I am setting up an office/gym in my house. I also bought a Wii Fit. I am going to be healthy if it kills me. I finished well in the contest at work. Clothes that I couldn't have worn at this past summer are falling off of me now. Guess how I did it? That's right, I surrendered.

HOME - I think I kind of covered this already in other headings. Things are shaping up and will be great as soon as I get that TENANT OUT OF MY LIFE!TT

The Gale

2008-11-05T09:24:00.005-06:00

His heart was racing as he ran down the road. Isaac felt it nearly beating a hole through his chest, not only because of the stress of the exercise, but also because of the fear that welled inside him. He often looked back over his shoulder, but there was never anyone there.

He saw a small town enter his vision at the bend of the road. He knew he had to get there, somewhere where no one knew him. Somewhere he could rest – at least for a while. He slowed to a walk as the town got bigger in his vista.

There were many people on foot smiling and talking to each other. Some even greeted him with a smile and a nod. He could hear music playing somewhere. It seemed like a nice enough town. Perhaps he could blend in, get something to drink, rest and figure all this out.

As he entered a small store, the middle-aged clerk behind the counter greeted him with a smile. “What can I help you with today?”

“I . . . uh . . . I just need something to drink, some water or something.”

“Sure,” she responded,“ but I’m gonna have to charge you a nickel for the cup. Free refills, though,” she laughed.

As Isaac, felt for a coin in his pocket, he felt his tension easing up. The lady behind the counter had the right kind of mannerisms to give him a reprieve. He was appreciative for it, no matter how brief it might be. He plopped the nickel down on the counter, grabbed the cup and backed against the nearest wall for a little more rest.

“You sure look haggard, Darlin’,” the clerk sympathized. “Are you looking for someone? Is there something I can do to help you?”

“No . . . I am fine,” Isaac uttered, “I am just passing through.”

“Well, I wish you a safe journey. If you need anything else . . .” Her sentence was interrupted by a stirring in the air.

Isaac felt a cold wind in his face. His rattled nerves reacted as he pondered how this breeze could find him again and be so cold in the summer heat -and be inside this little store. He watched the clerk’s hair blow from right to left on her head and onto her face. Then it was gone.

“What are you doing here?” The clerk's demeanor was changed. She was now shouting at Isaac with piercing, accusatory eyes.

“I . . . uh . . . ,” Isaac had nothing to say. Fear was now shooting through him again. The woman was moving trance-like towards him. He dropped his now empty cup and stormed out the door. He was met out in the street with the glares of the once friendly eyes of the townspeople. They froze and started heading toward him in the same way as the clerk did just seconds before.

He dashed between buildings and headed across the barren countryside. He saw the road winding around in front of him and headed for that rendezvous point that will guide him away from yet another village that turned on him without explanation. The answer to this real-life nightmare, he understood, was blowing in the wind.

Tumbleweeds on Election Day

2008-11-04T08:43:00.004-06:00

News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________
NEWS - This is the election day, non-election post. The political campaigns have run their courses. Now it is time to support whoever wins the presidency. He will need all the help he can get because we are in quite a mess.

ENTERTAINMENT - I haven't been all that entertained, lately. I will miss all the SNL election skits, though.

WRITING - I have been excited about my new project, but I hadn't been able to get much going on it. My life has been really busy and hectic lately. I am still focused. I hope I don't lose it, though.

SPIRIT - I have been learning to surrender more. It is funny about the human condition. We just don't want to surrender. We will force our wills at every opportunity. This, indeed, is the hardest aspect of true spirituality.

FAMILY - One of the things that is keeping me busy, I am in the process of trying to get the tenant from hell out of my house and get my sister in it. That will solve problems for everyone. We will see how it goes.

LOVE - As I was going through the sections of this post, (News, Entertainment, etc.), I flied right through them. When I got to this section, all I could do is stare at the flashing cursor with really nothing to say. Already, I have typed three complete lines and I still haven't written anything relevant to the topic. Truthfully, I have met a few people. Each of them has been kind of flaky in their own way. I guess the reality of it is that I am now ruined for love. I can't play the games; I just can't waste the time and effort; I no longer have the energy and the appetite for that. I have a unique, I guess, view of what love should be and I am not prepared to go through the pain of getting anything less. The problem is that less is all there is. I just don't belong here anymore.

ANXIETY - I am really not stressed about anything. I have a somber peace.

SPORTS - When I decided to put "Sports" in this exercise, I was somewhat interested in it. It is funny how life tends to reset our priorities. Of course, I would feel differently about it, perhaps, if any of the teams I was interested were the slightest bit exciting.

HOME - I have been moving into "our" house and trying to furnish it - get it ready for my solo life. It has been a little trip down memory lane, a bitter sweet walk. I look forward to all the dust settling so I can see just what my life looks like. Hopefully, it will be with my sister in one house, my mother in another, and finally me with my little bachelor cottage creating new memories to replace the old ones that have helped to make me a little out of sorts today - as if you hadn't noticed.

Psychosomatic Wit Makes Endorsement

2008-10-30T09:47:00.005-05:00

Poof! Here I am!

2008-10-22T16:00:00.003-05:00

I am interrupting this negligence for an important message: I am still alive and planning on posting soon. I have been moving and engaging in other time-consuming endeavors.

There is a lot of junk going on that needs to be settled, but other than that, I have never been better!

I am in the process of starting a project that will probably be the most important thing I have ever written. It isn't a blog piece, but something much bigger. Wish me luck and for God's sake, keep after me about it. It is pretty important.

Obama, The Mentalist, and Being Alone

2008-10-08T09:17:00.003-05:00

NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:

News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________

NEWS - I have been studying the polls for this presidential election. Things are shifting big time for Obama. As a matter of fact, watching a tracking mechanism on people watching the debate on one of the cable news outlets, I discovered something. Obama was scoring the highest on independents, this backs up most of the national polls now. So, if you consider yourself an independent, but are leaning towards McCain, maybe you should rethink your "independent" status.

ENTERTAINMENT - I have found a new television program to follow this season. I make no reservation in recommending The Mentalist on CBS. Simon Baker plays Patrick Jane, a consultant to the police department whe formally was a fake psychic. He made a name for himself posing as one of those people who insist that he can talk to the other side. He now insists that there are no such thing as psychic abilities and the skills of paying attention fool people into believing. He uses those skills to solve crime. Baker is smooth in his role, but what makes the show deep, is that his character has a lot of mental baggage (feeling guilt for the slaughter of his family by a serial killer). The Mentalist airs on Tuesdays at 9:00 pm ET/PT on CBS.

WORK - Work has calmed down a bit. I guess I need to focus on finding an intern for the year now. I am dreading that.

SPIRIT - Now that I am getting used to being alone, the dreaded lonliness has kind of set in. It isn't that I am a depressed lonly, more like a somber lonly. I mean, I don't feel hopeless, just alone. This gives me an opportunity to work on some things in my life and draw closer to God. I know that as I draw closer to Him, He will draw closer to me.

FAMILY - My (healthy) sister had a scare. She scheduled an appointment for a checkup and discovered that she apparently had a heart attack LAST YEAR. No one told her and she spent the past year thinking she was fine. There was a definite slip in communication - either between the hospital and the doctor, or the doctor and the patient. Miffed, she scheduled a stress test. However, four days before she was to go in for the test, she had chest pains. Normally, she might have just chalked it up to something else, but the news spooked her so she went to the emergency room. They did some tests and admitted her. They moved her stress test up for the following day. When all the dust settled from all the tests, she is completely fine with no sign of any heart attack at all. It is quite a mystery.

LOVE - This is a rough week for me. This is the big Fall Festival week in Evansville - a pretty big deal. It was something that my wife and I really enjoyed and shared with each other and this is the first one without her. Not only that, but this Saturday (the last night of the festival) is October 11 and that is our wedding anniversary. We picked that day to get married, because five years ago on Saturday the 11th, I officially asked her to be my girlfriend, under a tree there - on the last day of the Fall Festival. That isn't all, I went through my voice mail at work to delete a lot of it. I tend to not delete it much because of facts that I may need to use when working on a case. Anyway, as I deleted about 20 of them, I ran across this sweet voice that said, "Hey you. I am just calling to tell you that the dogs, our children, are VERY excited to be getting the new house. Here, I will let them tell you . . ." I cut it off right there. For those of you that do not remember, that was right before she went away for the weekend and changed our lives forever.

ANGUISH: My tenant is going to make me hurt him. He is trying to buy the house from me for $10,000 less than we agree on - which would cause me to get a $10,000 loan to cover my loss. He told a neighbor that he has me over a barrel and thinks he is going to get it that cheap. What he doesn't know, is that I would rather let the bank repo it before I give it to him for that price - ESPECIALLY him. I haven't wanted to inflict bodily harm on someone since I was a kid. However, he is pushing me to the limit.

SPORTS - My teams suck and my fantasy football team is in last place. However, I am ready to make my move.

HOME - I am slowly putting things together for the house that used to be ours. I have no furniture, but I don't care much. I do have a bed and a recliner. Everything else will come in time. I am also getting closer and closer to getting into the shape I want. I am running daily again with my dogs and putting together the gym in my garage. I just may move it into the house. Apparently, there is room for it now.

Who Took De-Bait?

2008-10-02T21:51:00.004-05:00

I just watched the vice-presidential debate between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden. It was interestingly boring. Who won? Well, if one considers a progressive evaluation principle (compare to: tax, progressive), you might consider Palin the winner. If you scored it on a point by point, Biden won.

Sarah Palin looked good if you look at it progressively, that is, if you expected her to fall apart as she has in other media situations. She just didn't. Therefore, she looked better. It is as if you have kid on the baseball team that always strikes out. If the kid actually grounds out to the pitcher, it looks like he did well - when in fact, he just made another out.

What bothered me about her? It appeared as she just read a speech, complete with jibes and sound bites. It didn't matter what was asked, she just continued with her speech. As a matter of fact, she admitted early in the speech, uh . . . I mean debate, that she wasn't going to answer the questions the way Biden or the moderator wanted. That translated into she wasn't going to answer it at all unless it happened to be in her prepared speech. That and announcing that she wanted more power to the vice president made her appear to lack humility.

What else? If I hear her call herself and McCain "mavericks" one more time, I am going to scream. I wonder how many times that was in her speech. Actually, if I hear her voice one more time, I am going to scream. Not because of a personal dislike. it is just that her voice tends to melt the coins in my pocket and that hurts.

What about Biden? He tended to be boring. He also tended to answer the questions so that to me, gives him the debate. He correctly pointed out that George Bush ran the country in the ground, and McCain's main policies are the same. That is enough for me. When challenged about "looking back and not looking forward", he correctly reported what I care about which is, "The past is a prologue to the future."

He did bother me that he tended to smile, kind of patronizingly, at Palin when she went reached the attack part of "her speech". I don't know what he was supposed to do, but that bugged. He also liked to repeat what he considered main points - even going as far as begging, "Let me repeat, . . . ".

All in all, the debate was kind of boring to all but the political junkies (like me). It just reinforced what I had already come to believe about this election. We can't risk anything close to what we have now in the next administration.

What a Fool Believes

2008-09-19T15:09:00.006-05:00

She greeted him with a smile. He looked at her. It wasn't just a normal glance, but he peered deep searching for any kind of justification for what he was feeling . . hoping.

"I saw this downtown and thought of you," he said as he presented her with a small stuffed animal. It was a dog with big sad eyes and droopy ears.

She tried to hide her discomfort, and graciously accepted the small token. "Thank you, it is very cute," she replied and mustered a smile.

Convinced that he was now in her graces, he decreased the distance between them. "Do you remember the time we went to the fair and I won that over sized wiener dog for you?"

"Oh sure," she responded as she glanced at her wall clock from the corner of her eyes, "you threw footballs through a tire or someting, didn't you? That was nice."

"Actually, I shot three basketballs through the hoop . I guess I was pretty lucky, though, because those rims there were shaped like footballs instead of hoops." He laughed what he considered a clever laugh as he recalled the details.

She was wondering how long she was going to have to play along. She knew he was good guy, but that was all she could say about him. He, on the other hand, was contemplating how he was going to extend this drop-by into an evening.

"Are you hungry?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just ate before you got here. It is just as well, though, because I have a million things to do. Maybe another time, though - REALLY!" She wished she had that last sentence back, but getting him out was her primary concern.

He, replayed the "REALLY" over and over in his mind. It gave him a smile that even his limited knowledge of all things suave, made him keep on the inside. "Hey, I understand. Give me a call sometime . . . or I will call you."

He slowly backed through the door that she was already poised to close. "Sure, sounds great."

That was it. He whistled to his car, already deep in thought about when and for what purpose he would call her. She tossed the stuffed dog in the hall closet as she made her way to the vanity where she would continue preparing for a fun night without him.

What a Fool Believes
Michael McDonald/Kenny Loggins

He came from somewhere back in her long ago
The sentimental fool don't see
Tryin' hard to recreate
What had yet to be created once in her life

She musters a smile
For his nostalgic tale
Never coming near what he wanted to say
Only to realize
It never really was

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He's watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
The wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
And nothing at all keeps sending him...

Somewhere back in her long ago
Where he can still believe there's a place in her life
Someday, somewhere, she will return

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He's watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
The wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
There's nothing at all
But what a fool believes he sees...

Ike, Big Brother, and Finality

2008-09-17T15:33:00.004-05:00

The Real Dope

2008-09-12T10:18:00.002-05:00

I thought I would take this opportunity to give you an update about how I am. My divorce will be final in a couple of weeks. My soon to be ex-wife, is moving away next week. We are getting along and things are as nice as they can be. She even talks of a friendship.

As for me, the pain of it all is not as excruciating as it was. When the good book states that He will not give us more than we can bear, this is an example of the truth of that. Of course, He makes no bones about taking us right to the threshold. However, with the debilitating pain gone, I still have my job, home, and the support of family and friends. Even though I can function, there is still a cloud of somberness that I live in. I am sure that it will pass, too. The worst is over.

I went back and republished all the posts that I removed back when life and criticism was too much to bear. It is a record and it documents who I really am, not the person I wish I could be.

One thing that I did get putting those posts back on this blog was that it afforded me the opportunity to get back in touch with my writing. I had kind of lost that. I have a spark of motivation now to continue to write - not only for this blog, but for my own literary pursuits. I will take the blessings wherever I find them.

White Women's Intelligence are Pal-in Comparison

2008-09-10T09:48:00.003-05:00

Worth Repeating

2008-08-08T16:40:00.002-05:00

This is probably the most searched post I have written. The searches: depression, wife's depression, selfishness and depression. There are a lot of people struggling out there with depression or their spouse is. Either way it is a horrible ordeal to go through. No matter what I came up with originally when I published this post, I consider myself more of an expert about it now, because now I see depression from both sides - as a helpless spouse of a depressed person and someone who is/has been so depressed myself that I wonder if I can handle even another breath.

I am reposting this with some additions and perhaps some editing. My new perspective on it mandates this.

Who can figure out how a normal person, for no apparent reason, can transform into someone who is one breath away from dramatically changing the lives of everyone around them? Like putting on a costume in the play of life, the character is transformed into a hopeless shell of a human being. It is enough to make Stanislavsky proud.

Depression is a form of selfishness. Am I saying that it isn't a medical problem (i.e. chemical imbalance)? No. For some, it very well may be. It is still selfishness, because by definition, a person dwelling in a state of depression is consumed with the self, although it is not a conscious choice of selfishness. Depression is so debilitating that it leaves one with the notion that he has little choice but to be immersed in the self for survival's sake. Whether it is chemical, spiritual, or situational depression, life seems so hopeless. That is why merely surviving is center-most in the thoughts of those struggling with this.

The problem with depression is that it is a disease of the soul. The soul is the intellect + will + emotions of an individual. Depression attacks the soul and causes the person to dwell on the self. There is an old saying, “Misery loves company.” Depression flies in the face of that bromide. Rather, depression is a suspicious spouse, or a jealous best friend. There is no room for anyone else to suffer with it or any other problem, for that matter. No, one with depression can only consider his/her own hopeless state. No one else has the right to have it, lest some focus may be taken off the self. It really can be brutal in the mind of the depressed, "I don't want to hear about your problems; I am dying over here!"

I never grappled with real depression until after I met my wife. That is not to say that, previous to this divorce, my wife caused my bouts of it or that my marriage was depressing me. However, this divorce has shattered my world and has lit up the world of depression like no other time in my life. Despite my blog rants, I learned to be somewhat contented with my marriage. I didn’t really blog about the good times so much. The troubled spots are easier to analyze and that is what I do, but I digress. Before the past couple of years, I never actually had to deal with depression. Sure, I had sad times. I was sad when appropriate, maybe even downright despondent, but there were always reasons. It was part of the natural cycle of being human in a fallen world. However, depression is another matter. Depression is its own entity. Now, I have stared it down and my spirit screams in horror with the sight.

Perhaps my small (and they were relatively small) stints of depression were a form of sympathy pain for my wife. She has struggled intensely with this unnatural despair. Maybe God would have me get some doses of it so I could understand and reach out to her instead of doing what my flesh craved at times which was announcing, “I can’t deal with this; maybe you aren’t ready to have this kind of relationship.”

How prophetic that last paragraph was when I originally wrote it! I have had a couple of conversations recently with my wife and she marveled at how I understand her now. I think that was the crux of her unhappiness with the marriage. Now, it is just ironic. I have come to find out that irony is just another word for cruel, VERY CRUEL joke.

Whatever the reason, these dates with melancholia are a reality for me now. However, no matter how it feels, complete hopelessness will never take hold. I have found the secret, and I thank God for that revelation. The spiritual aspect of depression did find out that secret, and as some of you have read before it was removed, I have struggled with the God aspect of this divorce. Still, God has been educating me and I have moved from that position (of being mad at God) quite a bit.

This whole situation has also educated me about my wife's spirituality. That makes it all the more depressing. I KNOW that God will and is delivering me from this - that I will someday be alright and whole again. The pain is just normal and necessary. Walking in the fires of depression will polish and proof me. However, my wife doesn't have or is unable to see it that way. For her, it is completely black and hopeless. For me, right now, it is merely a temporary darkness - no matter what it feels like. There may be only one set of footprints in the sand, but I DO know exactly who made them.

I Knew the Risk when I Bought the Ticket

2008-08-01T15:20:00.004-05:00

I received an email from a person that reads my blog. It was apologetic in nature, although I am not sure this person has anything for which to apologize. Still, I appreciated the sentiments in the email. The reader then vowed to not send anymore feedback unless I asked for advice. This stimulated my thinking trying to realize what I felt in regard to the whole blogging relationship and what goes on with bloggers and readers. I think there is an understood dynamic there that states that the blogger blogs and the readers comment. The vow of "silence" seems a bit out of place, although I appreciate the gesture. I do think that people should follow their own preference.

At any rate, here is the edited version of my response. I am including it as addendum to this comment I left two posts ago:

"I know some of you mean well with your tough love approach. However, to be quite honest with you, there is an appropriate time for that kind of help and it is usually after an appropriate grieving period takes place.

I promised myself that I wouldn't take it personally. That is why I removed those posts. However, as I am still working through it, I am sure I am going to post more of what is exactly on my mind. That will also include any feedback to your feedback. If it offends, do like me and don't take it personally. Depending on how life is for you now, you should be able to handle that better than I can.

In addition, the man up and get over it thing is filed away. I understand the point of view. Try this: wouldn't it be nice to think that you might be married to someone who takes his/her marriage as seriously as I do? Just a thought."

_________________________________________________________________

The following is just a follow up that was inspired by the email I mentioned at the top of the post:

First of all, I know that I am not the only one with problems. I am sorry for all the hardships that everyone has gone through. I know that I am not the only one that faces serious challenges. I hope that I didn't come off that way.

What I want to say now is not meant to be accusatory in nature. It is a general statement about how I feel about some comments that I have read not anyone's particular comments, per se. I am really not interested in who said what and I am not really sure about it now, anyway. This may not even apply to you at all.

I don't mind comments. I don't even mind advice. The only thing that hurts is advice that sounds cold and unhelpful. There is an old bit by comedian Steve Martin. He states, "I can teach you to have a million dollars and not have to pay taxes on it. First, get a million dollars."

Some "advice," in particularly the "man up" - tough love advice, is just like that. Sometimes, directions to a destination must start out with "you can't get there from here." This is one of those times. The "man up" advice just perpetuates to someone who is struggling and already feels like a failure to feel EVEN MORE like one. It tends to make one remove everything from the whole conversation because even more feelings of failure just can't be endured at the moment.

However, there are other comments that are encouraging and supportive. Even though no solution is offered, the "being there" feeling is sometimes enough to get someone through another minute in the day. Sometimes, that is all one can hope for.

That is really all there is to it. It is not for me to say how anyone should comment and that isn't my intention. I have no rules for my blog. Actually, I have been fortunate that I seldom get an overtly hateful comment. I know others of you have. Comment any way you want and I will deal with it the only way I can. Thank you for being patient with me.
________________________________________________________________

I also want to thank Jaquandor (who was not the emailer in question listed above) for reminding me of the value of REAL blogging (my term, not his). He even gave me an award for it. Thank you, Jaquandor.

Define "Better"

2008-07-31T15:20:00.002-05:00

*** PLEASE READ MY RECENT COMMENTS IN THE FEEDBACK SECTION OF THE PREVIOUS POST. ***
__________________________________________________________________

It was a sight that no person should ever have to see, much less a child. But there she was, cowering in the corner and crying. She stared through her tears at the image of her mother's lifeless body with a needle still stuck in her arm.

A lady officer grabbed the girl by the hand and led her into the hallway of the apartment building. "I'm so sorry, Sweetheart. I am officer Kelly. Some nice people will be here in a minute to take care of you. In the meantime, you can stay out here with me."

The girl said nothing. Her tears continued to pour out of her eyes, but there was no audible sobbing.

A police sergeant approached Kelly from behind and ushered her away from the girl a few feet. "What have we got here?"

"Suicide by stupidity; it looks like an accidental overdose," reported the officer.

"What's the story with the girl?"

"The woman's six-year-old daughter. DFC will be here in a minute to take her. As bad as foster care can be, she will be better off. The mother was a known prostitute and drug addict. That girl didn't have a chance with a mother like that. At least now she may have a chance."

As Kelly turned to gesture toward the little girl, she only saw an empty hallway. "Where did she go?" She turned and ran down the hall searching for the child.

Six-year-old Sarah couldn't stay there any longer. She set out on her new quest. It wasn't long until her ordeal took a toll on her. Because of her physical and emotional exhaustion, she stopped to rest behind a dumpster in an alley a few blocks away from what was her home. Intending to only rest a minute, she succumbed to sleep.

It wasn't long until the whole neighborhood knew what happened to Sarah's mother. Sadly, scarcely no one gave Sarah a thought.

The sunlight reflecting off a window on a building that lined the alley woke up Sarah the next morning. She continued her search. Not far away, she saw a woman walking down the street disheveled and smelled of stale wine. "Have you seen my mother?" Sarah asked her.
"I heard about your mother. You need to go and be with your daddy," answered the prostitute. "Your momma is gone."

Sarah never knew her father. The term "daddy" was a foreign concept to her. "I don't have a daddy. Can you bring my mother back to me?"

"No I can't bring her back. I gotta get me some sleep. Run along. Go be someone else's problem."

With tears welling up in her eyes again, Sarah continued her quest. She went inside a small hole-in-the-wall store where her mother often bought cigarettes and talked to some of her "special men friends" as she would call them. She looked up at the man behind the counter. "My mother is gone. Can you bring her back?"

The man responded sharply, "No! No one can bring her back. Where are you supposed to be? You need to go find where you need to be!"

Sarah ran out of the store and down the street towards the park. There, she saw an elderly woman sitting on a bench feeding the birds. Sarah had seen her several times there before when she accompanied her mother there where she had "business."

"Do you know my mother?" she asked the woman.

"I knew OF her," answered the woman softly. "Who's taking care of you?"

"My mother is, but I have to find her. I need someone to bring her back to me. I don't think she knows the way anymore."

"Oh baby, your mother is gone. You come back to the house with me and I will call a friend that will help you," the woman said comfortingly.

As they walked, Sarah asked, "Will your friend be able to bring my mother back?"

"No Sweetie, but you will be able to go someplace better."

"Better? Better than my mom?"

With sympathy in her voice, the woman responded, "I saw how your mother treated you, baby. I have seen your bruises and they all didn't come from falling in the park. I saw her lead you around by your hair."

The little girl broke away from the hand that was holding hers. "But she is MY mother!" Sarah was now crying full force. "I don't want better; I want my mother! And if no one will bring her back, I am going where she is!"

Sarah ran away without looking back. She ignored or perhaps refused to hear the calls from the park lady. She only had one thing on her mind and that was to go be with her mother. The only way she knew how to do that was to follow her mother's footsteps. So, that is what she set out to do.

Speaking of yodeling. . .

2008-07-29T16:17:00.005-05:00

I guess the airing of the marriage/divorce thing wasn't such a good idea. That is why they are gone now. Things take time to get over and I already knew that at some point I was going to have to "man up" about it. I guess hearing it from someone else was something I wasn't ready to deal with. It doesn't make the comments wrong, it is just a timing thing, I guess. I need time to work through things. However, that's okay and it is on me. If I don't' want specific feedback about something I write, I should not post it or at least disable the comment component of the post. So, I just decided to remove it. This shouldn't be interpreted as a hostile act or that I have hard feelings for anyone that has commented. That just isn't the case. I take full responsibility and all are welcome to read and comment on whatever I write about.

That being stated, it is a little difficult to write about much else right now. In life, we have ups and downs. The more sensitive types like me have a hard time thinking about other things when the power of the situation is still too new, or unresolved. So, I think about it. I write about it. Just not here, not now. Those of you that have been around here for a while may remember that I used to take time off from blogging when I was going through rough spots. That was an instinct I probably should have listened to this time.

How 'bout those presidential campaigns, eh?

Open Letter to God

2008-07-28T10:05:00.002-05:00

Dear God,

As I am going through the trials of the ending of my marriage, I find it necessary to talk to you. I have told everyone that I am not mad at You. I have an understanding that You see the big picture. You know what is best and I must trust You.

However, I figured it out the other day that I AM angry with You. Sure, I know better, but there are just too many things I can't reconcile.

God, I dedicated my marriage to You. I gave 110% to that cause - all in Your name. I put my wife ahead of myself at every turn. I was never unfaithful. I never laid a hand on her. I don't even recall raising my voice to her. I made her concerns my concerns and my concerns unimportant. I did this for her, for the institution of marriage, and for YOU, God.

I know life has its disappointments and tragedies. I know that You promise that You will never leave nor forsake me through it all. But, why did this have to happen?

I know that my wife has free will and that is a big issue for You. I also know that we are in a fallen world. However, I trusted you. It isn't even MY will that is affected, Lord, it is YOURS. You hate divorce! You speak of forever and death do us part. Well, I did my part! You let some little girl ruin YOUR will and my faithfulness. Why? You are God, for cryin' out loud!

Jonah had free will. You wanted him to go to Ninevah and preach to the people there. Jonah ran in the other direction with his own free will. However, you sent a great fish to fetch him and deliver him to Ninevah. You can't influence one little girl? You can't send down an angel for counsel? Is my wife's will too tough for God? I just can't see it.

Yeah, I know. You know what suffering is all about. You sent your Son to die so people like me can be with you everlasting. He had You; He WAS You. All human and all God. He had the vision. He knew the plan - the necessity of it all and He felt the touch and love of the divine.

Now it is my turn to suffer. I am not You. I don't feel that love and comfort - not in the same magnitude. I can't see the plan. And I can't understand how You can tell me how much You hate divorce but watch me get taken down that path even as I am faithful.

No, God, I don't get it. I don't get it at all. Yet, I will continue to trust You. I will continue to obey the best I can. What choice do I have?

With painful devotion,

Jeff

Worse than Death

2008-07-26T13:18:00.009-05:00

The other night one of my sisters, Donna, took me out to dinner. She wanted to check on me and show her support which was nice. I am sure that this support stuff is easier on women than men. It is easy for a man to feel pathetic. No man wants anyone to ever think about him, "He better man up!" Men, generally, aren't allowed to hurt. But, I digress. Donna and I had a nice talk.

Donna hasn't had the easiest life. One marriage she had ended in her spouse cheating on her and subsequent divorce. When she finally found someone that treated her like she deserved, that husband died of cancer after only a few years of marriage. She has found another "good one" now. Amazingly, she has always been able to be joyous throughout all her ordeals. Oh sure she cried, but it never beat her. I have always admired that about her.

My sister is one of the few people in my life that knows how I feel. I was compelled to ask her, "What hurt the worse: the infidelity and divorce or the death of your husband?"

She didn't hesitate, "The divorce was MUCH worse. When a marriage ends in death, one has the comfort of knowing that the love and marriage was alive till the end. There is no control there. No one CHOSE to leave, it was just death. When someone goes through a divorce such as this, there is failure and someone CHOSE to betray and leave. It is MUCH tougher and makes the victim feel worthless."

Her words gave me comfort - even if for just a short while. SHE KNOWS! It is strange. When a spouse dies, everyone comes and comforts and is "there" for you. However, in a divorce one suffers and grieves alone - a hurt WORSE than losing the spouse to death. It just doesn't make sense.

Beyond the Point of No Return

2008-07-23T09:04:00.004-05:00

She still looked beautiful there in bed. If it weren't for the straps holding her limbs, I would say things looked almost normal. That isn't the case, though. The straps are glaring along with sunkeness of her eyes and of course the wound on her neck. I dropped the object in my hand on the floor next to her bed and just stared at her - trying to find some kind meaning to it all. Looking to find a solution other than the one an emotionless mind would have determined some time ago.

It was just a short few days ago when I held her and tried to will her demons to stay away. "It is going to be alright," I would console. "I will not let it take you. I will not let it change us."

How empty those words feel today, yet I meant them with everything I had. I watched daily how her sweet way melted into something horrifying.

It was gradual at first. She would tell me she love me and have me hold her. Then she would sink into her illness. The fever, and the red pupils would come and go. I tried to time the rhythm of it in order to maximize the time I had left with the "wife" that was slowly being strangled by the pure evil that is surely engulfing her.

It wasn't long till there was only glimpses of the angel that she used to be. Her voice would sink octaves and utter the most horrifying things. Still, she was my wife and I loved her. Should I stay, go, vanquish her, end my own misery or just set her free and let her take me. What is left to live for, anyway?

The struggle continued until there was nothing left of my wife there. The only sign that she ever lived there is when her exhausted body gave up consciousness. I can still see the shell that she lived in, but she is long gone.

I know now that those straps will not be able to contain her much longer. I need to deal with this fact before all of it is completely out of my hands.

As I walk slowly toward her, her eyes open and she gently musters, "Free my arms so I can hold you one last time." I reached with my left hand across her body towards the strap restraining her left hand. With my right hand, I gripped the wooden shaft that I dropped on the floor beside her bed a little earlier while she was sleeping. A week ago, it was a support in the garden. Today, it will set two souls free.

Can't Get Too Far Away

2008-07-22T09:20:00.007-05:00

It's been a few days since I posted. My mind has been entirely occupied with things that I don't want it to be occupied with. As I sit here today, looking at this blank blog page, I have decided to list a few things that pop into my mind.

* I don't know what to do with the blog for now. I don't want to blog about what I am consumed with. I hate a pity party. I loathe self-pity. Still, there it is.

* Feeling betrayed is the worst thing I have ever felt.

* I am trying to make sense of being punished for merely being on the receiving end of the betrayal. My wife is cold to me and shows no sign of regret.

* I found in the trash can a book of poems I made for my wife. It was a time consuming process where I hand bound it. It contained all original poems that I had written - many were just for her. I remember the look on her face when I gave it to her. She couldn't put it down. She had no trouble putting it down into the trash, though.

* This post isn't working out so great. Yep, I still feel sorry for myself and it is quite apparent to anyone who is reading this. That isn't what I want. Maybe I will try again in a few days.

Birthday Blues

2008-07-18T09:43:00.006-05:00

Guess who's birthday it is today? Think I feel much like celebrating? My life feels like it is a bad serial in the comic book pages. You know, the ones where you have to read little tidbits everyday to find out what drama happens in the lives of two-dimensional, black-and-white characters. That is how I feel today especially - flat, colorless, and quickly yesterday's news. Yes, I hate feeling sorry for myself and if I had one more ounce of strength, I would have realized this more fully and not have written anything at all. But I don't and apathy has set in as far as what anyone thinks of me today - well almost.

Summer, particularly around my birthday, hasn't had the best track record for me. For one thing, my father died on my birthday when I was 18. I had just graduated high school and was preparing to go away to college when he succumbed to cancer. He died at 12:06 a.m. on July 19. My birthday is the 18th.

My family said that somehow he knew and was holding on and did not want to die on my
birthday so he held out as long as he could. I guess he made it. After the calendar struck 19, he slipped away. I remember getting the call. I wasn't at the hospital, I had just left for the evening. I didn't have to hear the news, all I needed to hear was the sobbing from my sister. I knew. I expected it, yet I didn't. I hadn't gone to bed, hadn't slept, so it still felt like it was my birthday. However, there is some comfort in believing that he held out for me - whether it is actually true or not. God surely had His hand in it, though.

Another birthday disaster was one of my best friends told me that she wanted no more to do with me. That has been too many years to mention, but it still haunts me. There really wasn't much of reason for it, it was just something that someone told her to do. It was on my birthday and I had a few people in the office where I worked in there at the time I read her note. My co-workers were there with cake and punch while my heart was breaking. I had to work 13 hours that birthday. Yet, I kept on a smile through the whole thing - secretly wanting them to leave me alone.

Still another bad birthday was when I was having a bad time generally, like this year. I felt insignificant and turned to my girlfriend at the time for comfort. Her family had just left the area because her dad got a new job in another state. Well, to deal with my neurosis, she told me how significant I was to her. She said that I was the only reason she was still there. Otherwise, she would have left with her family. That kind of snapped me out of it.

Why is that a bad memory you ask? It was only a short time later that she left me for some guy she met on the internet. Now the memory of her life-infusing speech on my birthday just mocks me as I try to get past yet another one.

Some of you were here when I wrote about the birthday I spent standing in a hospital room wondering if my mother was going to make it. You can read about that one here.

However, of all the bad birthdays, this one takes the (birthday) cake. It starts out with my wife going out of town, spending the weekend with another man, and ends with me contemplating the unrealized goals that make my birthday even harder to bear as I get
farther away from my actual date of birth and longer in the teeth.

Endings . . .

2008-07-16T09:30:00.012-05:00

Rest In Peace: John Davis and Caroline Faye

Today I said goodbye to my son and daughter.

John Davis, our first born, was named after my wife's father. To avoid the confusion, we called him "Jack". Secretly, we just liked how it sounded. The connection with her father was just another sign that we picked the right name. Jack was a little mischievous, but he was precocious and very inquisitive. He loved animals, sports, and his daddy. You would always find a baseball cap on his head, but it was never on straight.

In the evening, after I returned home from work Jack and I liked to sit outside and watch the birds eating from our smorgasbord of feeders. "That's a cardinal, Daddy," he would say. The little guy was great at memorizing bird names, although he did have trouble distinguishing the difference between a sparrow and a wren - but who doesn't?

Jack's big brown eyes signaled to the world that he was his daddy's son. His little hands always gripped a ball or a book. We always found him occupied with something. He was good kid. I hate the years starting now that are robbing me of his ascent into manhood. I miss you, Jack.

Caroline had her mother's curls. She loved ribbons and her big brother. She liked to help her mother cook, but loved to hear her daddy tell her a story - usually about a little girl named "Caroline". She was very sentimental and had a beautiful heart to match her face. When a spider would show up in the house uninvited, she would insist on me catching it and setting it free outside as opposed to me just killing it. I asked her if she liked spiders, but she said, "No! They are yucky! But they don't deserve to die just because I don't like them."

Caroline had beautiful blue eyes that melted everyone when she looked their way. She never realized what those eyes could do to me, but I knew what they would do to the boys that would line up for a date years down the road. Too bad I never had the opportunity to keep them away.

One of her favorite places to be was buried into my side on the recliner as I read stories to her and her brother. When I would move my arm to turn a page or take a drink, she pouted in her little way until she could move my arm back around her.

My baby girl couldn't go to sleep until I tucked her in and sang the chorus of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" to her. She would close her eyes pretending to fall asleep quickly, but her smile gave her away. I would play along and tip-toe towards the door, but she always whispered softly, "I love you, Daddy," as if she was saying it in her sleep.

My kids are gone now. They never had a chance. We never had a chance to welcome them into our family. Their mother left for the weekend and came back someone else. She officially left the marriage today. She took with her both of our children although the first one was probably still a year or so away. Still, as you can see, they were very real to me.

It's Reggie Time!

2008-07-03T09:43:00.005-05:00

In honor of the Fourth of July Weekend, I yield my blog today to Reg Henry. He is a columnist for the Pittsburgh Post-Disapatch. He has an interesting take on 2nd Amendment (right to bear arms) and fireworks for Independence Day. He is a humorous guy that I have featured on my blog before. Enjoy!

________________________________________________________________

Why Fireworks are a Constitutional Right

By Reg Henry

With patriotism at high ebb around the Fourth of July, and the Second Amendment with perfect timing having been confirmed as an individual right to own guns, I believe it is the hour when we the people must assert our ancient right to keep and bear fireworks.

It makes no sense to me that Americans can have all sorts of guns, which they can use to shoot unsuspecting deer and suspecting burglars, yet many of them cannot let off an honest Roman candle or eardrum-assaulting firecracker as a sign of their American exuberance.

As if connected to their history by a long burning fuse, the American people have always loved to blow things up (just ask anyone in Iraq). The history of this continent can be considered as a series of detonations.

What is the first tune a child hears? Yes, "The Star-Spangled Banner," with the words that thrill the American soul: "The rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air."

Some may quibble that this refers to artillery but that misses the point. Clearly, Francis Scott Key was much impressed with the pyrotechnic aspects of the spectacle and would have surely asked his British captors to play the 1812 Overture as an accompaniment if only Tchaikovsky had been born. As it was, some historians believe he called for a folding chair and a few beers.

Yet what have we come to in the land of the free and the home of the brave? Thanks to a web of restrictive state and municipal laws, some of us can only salute our freedom with a sparkler in our hand. Did Patrick Henry (no relation) say: "Give me liberty or give me a sparkler"? He did not, which is why I believe now is the time to shoot a rocket up the rear quarters of the frowning establishment who would protect us from our own considerable folly.

Oh, yes, firecrackers are dangerous all right. Any idiot can blow his fingers off -- and many idiots do. But many idiots also shoot themselves or others, sometimes on purpose, sometimes not, because they are idiots. Thanks to the Supreme Court, their idiocy is of a superior nature now because it is rooted in the exercising of an individual constitutional right. If only fireworks lovers could reach the constitutional skies with their bottle rockets!

Those who would keep and bear fireworks are being discriminated against. It is dreadfully unfair that young people should have to put a whiff of eau de gunpowder behind their ears to make themselves attractive in the hopes of marrying into the famous Zambelli fireworks family just so they can have the thrill of singeing their eyebrows.

It is absurd that laws in some places restrict fireworks sales for in-state residents but not visitors. People in Pennsylvania, for example, should not have to pretend to be from Ohio -- donning Cleveland Browns jerseys and assuming the familiar hang-dog look -- just to buy something combustible.

But this being America, a remedy is at hand. We can sue. Hurrah for us! Other benighted peoples do not have access to so many attorneys.

Better still, the Supreme Court stands ready to find a new individual right with some nifty reasoning that explains away any pesky words to the contrary, such as "well-regulated" and "militia," as it did in the historic Second Amendment case from Washington, D.C., last month.

Those particular words don't mean a darn thing now, because Justice Antonin Scalia said so in his majority opinion -- and never mind what the people of the District of Columbia wanted. (Kiddies, can you say: "Activist judge"?)

Why, James Madison, the amendment's author, would have been better off deleting them in the first place. He should have written something about fireworks while the ink was still on his quill.

Not to worry. If Justice Scalia and his fun-loving colleagues on the bench can discard as irrelevant some words in an amendment, they can certainly find new meanings in words already at hand elsewhere in the Bill of Rights.

I refer your attention to the Ninth Amendment, henceforth to be known as the Firecracker Amendment: "The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people."

Given the rolling thunderclaps of firecrackers since colonial times, this right of the people to blow up themselves and various mailboxes cannot be denied.

A firework in a tube is not so functionally different than what the founders called a musket. If the court recognizes this, I believe we can add another verse to our national anthem: "Boom, boom, out goes the light (of common sense)."

Supreme Court Jesters, Hell's Kitchen, and the Bush Economy

2008-06-26T22:08:00.006-05:00

NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:

News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Writing (thoughts on the blog(s) or other writing projects)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality TV, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________

NEWS - So much I could talk about . . . The Supreme Court is 0-2 this week in common sense rulings. First, the Court decides that the death penalty cannot be used in sentencing for people who rape children. Personally, I am not in favor of the death penalty at all, playing a vengeful God in the age of Grace is not something that I think is a good idea. However, if the death penalty is going to exist, I see no reason that the states cannot decide to use it for such a heinous crime such as this. The Supreme Court decided that capital punishment, in this instance, is cruel and unusual. Uhm . . . okay. So what did the Court do for an encore? It decided that a thirty-plus year law that banned handguns in Washington D.C. is unconstitutional. Back in March, I told Psycho Land (my pet name for those of you who read this mess) that we could look for the Supreme Court to rule on the gun control issue. For a refresher course, please read my post: Second (2nd) Amendment Right or Myth - particularly the comment section. In that post, I predicted the Supreme Court would take the view they did. I asked then and would like to ask the five justices that decided to strike down this law (it was a narrow 5-4 decision), "Why does the Second Amendment include the precursor, 'A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State'" As I prepare this post, I am hearing Bill O'Reilly on his show on Fox News make fun of the dissenters because, and I quote him, "There are no militias!" My point exactly, Bill, you pin head!"

ENTERTAINMENT - Somehow, I got into this whole Hell's Kitchen show. If someone described the show to me, I would say that I would never watch it. It is a group of people competing to be head chef for a "Bobby Knight-type" chef celebrity. Somehow, it fascinates me. I guess wherever there are nice people competing against hateful people for something special, I will end up watching it. The finale is next week and it is comprised of two good people. Who says nice guys finish last? So far the most recent Big Brother and now Hell's Kitchen, the good guys are finally winning. By the way, Big Brother 10 will premier July 13, on CBS. Try watching it this time!

WRITING - This section was once the "WORK" section. Ironically, my work is stopping me from writing. Notice how late this post is. There is a lot of discriminating going on out there today. I guess I will always have job security.

SPIRIT - I have been getting a lot of "signs" lately. I am not a big believer in signs, really though. I think any real evil forces can be in disguise while authoring these good and uncanny things we interpret as signs. This could push one in a particularly harmful direction as easily as God show them blessings. Not many of us can discern the difference. Dangerous.

FAMILY - Things are getting straightened out with my family. My sister is just a few short weeks of having an income for the first time in years with her Social Security Disability getting ready to kick in. My other sister (with MS) is getting out of the nursing home and getting back into her own apartment. She will probably be getting into an assisted living facility in the near future, but it is a nice place and a huge step above the nursing home she has been in for the past number of weeks. My wife told someone in my presence how blown away she is about the family she married into. Everyone helps everyone else and was so welcoming to her the first minute she met them. She admitted that it would not have been the case in her family. She gets these brief "insights" to my family, but she hasn't internalized them yet. I am not sure she is ready to "give" in that manner yet, although she has graciously received.

LOVE - Things are pretty level. I have been apologizing a lot to her lately and she has been receptive. It makes me realize a few things about our relationship. One thing that I have gleaned, and I am risking the appearance of arrogance here, is that I have been on the right side of issues for the most part in our troubles. I didn't know for sure, because it is hard to analyze self pride. We always want to be right, don't we? Being wrong points out personal flaws and self examination, which is too painful for most folks. With that in mind, I always entertained the idea that I may be mostly at fault with our past problems. However, I have had no problem analyzing my own actions lately and realizing that I will admit when I fall short. I guess it really doesn't matter what has happened in the past - with assigning blame and such. We are building the future.

ANXIETY - The economy is the thing that is stressing me out the most. Gas prices are through the roof and it is causing everything else to inflate because it is all tied to transportation. In addition, Bush's War has bankrupted us to the point we are weaker country in every way imaginable because of it.

What magnifies my concerns even more is that my wife and I are trying to buy a home. It is going to be tight no matter what the state the economy is in, but I am afraid it is going to be too much to handle if it gets worse - and I think that it Will get worse. Unemployment, one of the Bush administrations most recent "bragging points" - and I use the term loosely, has been on the rise. Consumer confidence is down also. Even though I think the next administration will be more capable than the eight years of hell we have just endured, I still think the economy may be too bad to be saved - especially in the short term. Really, all that can be done is to raise interest rates or continue to lower them short of a total overhaul. If they raise interest rates, it would slow the economy down, cause less demand for production and further increase unemployment. It would also hurt those in debt - which is nearly all of us. If they lower interest rates further, than the dollar loses even more value and prices continue to climb. It is a lose - lose situation. What a great time to be in the oil business or have oil interests, eh Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney?

SPORTS - Who really cares at this point, no? Sports interests are in a drought now that basketball is over and football is yet to start. Baseball season lasts so long that anything that happens at any given time is not very significant.

HOME - As I mentioned earlier, I am trying to buy a home. I have already been approved for the mortgage, but that doesn't mean I should accept it. Of course, my wife has a hard time letting the financial drawbacks influence her desire to have this house we have found. It is quite a nice house, I must say. Had my wife not quit her full-time job, it would be much easier to swing it. BUT SHE DID. I have two other houses that must be sold, too, which will not be easy in this economy. If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't, being single may not be all that bad.

The Inaugural Wittie Awards

2008-06-18T09:02:00.006-05:00

Welcome to the opening installment of Psychosomatic Wit's 40 years of music. Think of it as the TV Land Awards for music. I will give an award (probably weekly) for one song for each of the past 40 years. To qualify, a song must be on the charts at any time during the year in question. A song cannot win a Wittie for two consecutive years - even if their presence on the charts overlap two years.

The award is the Psychosomatic Wit Award of TMF (Tickle My Fancy) - heretofore known as the Wittie! This award will be given for any piece of art (song, movie, blog, etc.) that just does something for me.

In this particular case, it will be a music Wittie. Be on the look-out for Witties in other categories. Some accomplished bloggers reading this may even get a blogger Wittie of their own someday to display on their blog mantle piece.

Now is time for the first Wittie given for the TMF song of 1968. The Wittie goes to . . .

Elenore by The Turtles

This song was written and performed for the purpose to upset the record label, White Whale Records, who wanted the band to do another sappy love song ala Happy Together from the year before. Irritated, the band strung together some sickening lyrics like, "Gee I think you're swell" and even gave it an obligatory sounding "You're my pride and joy, etcetera."

However, the public went bonkers for the song, anyway, so their little scheme backfired. I guess the tune was just too catchy. For all these reasons, Elenore tickled my fancy and earned a Wittie for Song of 1968. Give it a listen:

Life, Lessons, and Loss

2008-06-17T09:50:00.006-05:00

Someone close to me died this past week. I met with him every week and got to know him better than I thought I would. He was a smart guy and took his job and his family seriously, but he was a lot of fun.

I wouldn't have thought that the death of Tim Russert would get to me as much as it has. Every week I would watch Meet the Press and see who Russert was going to interview. His interviews made news every week. Everyone that has talked about being on the show the past couple of days has said the same thing: "Tim was tough but fair." I think it is an accurate statement. I never knew Russert's personal politics. I just found a couple of days ago that he had worked for some Democrats before he turned to journalism. You wouldn't have known it by watching his interviews. I could never tell, and I am an independent.

However, what struck me was the enthusiasm he had for, not only his work, but for his family - particularly his dad, "Big Russ" and his son, Luke. Months ago I bought Big Russ and Me at a book sale. I hadn't gotten around to reading it yet. I bet I read it soon.

PICTURED: Tim and Big Russ

I heard a story from a tape of Tim being interviewed by Tom Brokaw. He talked about the time that his wife had discovered a tattoo on his son while Luke was trying on a shirt he had recently got for Christmas (it was Christmas day).

When his wife brought it to his intention, Tim approached young Luke. Luke, admittedly had just read Tim's manuscript for Big Russ and Me, when Tim started on him about the tattoo, "Look, son, we talked about this and had an understanding . . ." Luke lifted up his arm and displayed the inked "TJR" on his ribs. He told his dad that after reading the manuscript, he wanted his dad and his grand dad (both Tim and Big Russ had the same initials) at his side forever. Tim melted and obviously made an exception to their "understanding".

It is odd still, that a the passing of a TV personality in the news game would cause me so much sorrow. Russert made me appreciate politics and take an interest in the way this country was being run unlike before. He also made me more excited about fatherhood - gave me a new appreciation for the joy it will bring.

Like I said, I hadn't read Big Russ and Me yet. In a way, I am glad that I hadn't. It gives me a little more time with someone I didn't know I cared about so much.

Obama, the surest thing since Big Brown

2008-06-09T15:42:00.008-05:00

NEWS - It looks like it is the "Barack Obama Show" That will work for me. I endorsed Hillary (but predicted it would be Obama). I think Obama will be just fine. I think the thought of it being ANYONE other than "W" is just as exciting as can be. I know the polls are close now between McCain and Obama, I think by October, it will be a foregone conclusion that Obama will have it wrapped up. The reason I say this is summed up perfectly by a person I know that is a bit of a racist. I said to him, "So, I suppose you are going to vote for McCain now that Obama got the nomination."

He replied, "Nah, I am going to vote for Obama," he went on to say, "If there is anything scarier than a black man leading my country, it is another Republican. We can't afford no more of that! And I have never voted Democrat in my life!"

Language and PC aside, the simple message is that McCain has absolutely no chance.

ENTERTAINMENT - Last night, my wife and I visited my nephew and his wife. While there, I was enticed to join with them to play a Xbox 360 game called Rock Band. In a nutshell, the people in your group play an instrument or sing to pre-existing songs already contained in the game - kind of like karaoke, except with fake instruments. The choices include lead guitar, bass guitar, drums, and vocals. I started off on drums, but wasn't very good. Then I moved to guitar where I was a star. The game is addicting, I must say.

WORK - I have yet another business adventure in the works in addition to my other ones. I don't want to get into details yet, but suffice to say, that if I go through with it, I will have even less time than I do now. Still, it is kind of an old dream of mind. Stay tuned.

SPIRIT - I am trying to stay away from the "little picture" thing. Sometimes, in a way, I can't see the forest for the trees. It is just that sometimes the trees are big and require lots of work - trimming and the like. Yet, God sees the big picture. He understands why hardship "x" exists; He sees the finished product. It is a matter of trust and abandonining the self.

FAMILY - Praise God! My sister finally received the "all clear" for Social Security Disability. If anyone is entitled to it, it is my sister. She worked for years on very tough and physically taxing jobs - paid into the system. Finally, she can stop worrying about how to keep on her utilities on and other necessities that most of us take for granted. It will take about three months, but I think we can wait.

LOVE - My wife has been battling daily migraines for a week now. It is really debilitating for her. She tried to call her doctor AGAIN (she just saw the doctor two weeks ago), but the doc is out of town. She is desperate for help and I feel helpless. Anyone have any good migraine remedies? She has tried caffeine, and several pain relievers and prescription migraine medicines. None have worked so far.

ANXIETY - I mentioned above that my wife and I visited my nephews this past weekend. He lives about 35 miles away. There is a parkway that connects his city with the city I work in. Once you get on it, you are stuck till you reach the next city. I noticed as soon as we got on it (at 10:30 at night, by the way) that the "low fuel" light popped on. Oh no! I couldn't turn around, I just had to hope that I could make it all the way to the next town (28 miles away). Our Jeep is a gas guzzler so it isn't a sure thing by any stretch. My wife had a headache, so I didn't want to bother her about it. I saw the warning light and snapped my head to look at her. Fortunately, she was fiddling with her Zune (an Ipod competitor) and didn't see the warning.

The speed limit on this parkway is 70 mph (113 km/h). I lowered my speed to 50 (80), then to 45 (72). She somehow didn't notice all the traffic passing us as if we were standing still. I also switched the air conditioner off and just used the vent. She liked that because she is always cold. I sat and drove in my own sweaty filth for 25 miles.

As we eased in front of the fuel pump at the first station I saw at the end of the parkway, I said audibly, "Thank God." My wife looked puzzled and inquired about the gas. I told her, "Babe, for the past half an hour we were cruising on fumes and fond memories." SIXTY-FOUR dollars of fuel later, we zipped the final 12 miles to our home at the speed limit and with the AC a blazing!

SPORTS - It was a sad day this past Saturday when Big Brown failed to capture the Triple Crown of Horse Racing. He was the closest thing to sure thing that we have had. Even his competition was scratched so it was all open. Yet, Big Brown failed to run.

His trainer can't figure it out. He should ask me. Big Brown has been on steroids all his racing life. For the Belmont Stakes, he was NOT on it. What is the mystery?

HOME - I am still at an impass with my renter, although he did pay me rent. No one I have talked to can believe his position. I will keep my vision off the trees on this one for sure.

Evansville and Bad Presidents

2008-06-06T10:43:00.004-05:00

After Further Review . . .

I decided not to apply for the editorial board for the local newspaper this year. I blame you guys because not one of you suggested any of my posts for submission as writing samples. I just assumed that it wasn't worthy. Nah, just kidding. Actually, I tried to edit down some of my better posts to the 450 word requirement and it really butchered the "art" out of it - and I use that word loosely. If I would have had more time, I may have been able to figure it out, but other things in life demanded too much of my time and energy to muck with it any farther than I did. There is always next year.

* * *

My worst president poll shows some interesting results. So far, 19 of you voted and "W" is running away with it as expected. However, coming in a not-so-distant second is FDR. He was certainly a polarizing figure. Most people my mother's age and older that I have talked to would vote for him as the BEST president ever. These folks praise FDR for bringing them out of the Great Depression. His "New Deal" program put folks back to work and put food back on their plates.

Others, usually those that did not live through the Great Depression, despise him. They blame him for the "welfare state", big government, and starting the country down the road of debt.

My personal belief is that FDR and his policies were appropriate for the time. All history now is revisionist so it is hard to get an accurate picture. Whether the "New Deal" helped to end the depression is open to question. However, it did inspire hope and that is sometimes enough. I believe that he also managed WWII well, and should be praised for that. On the flip side, he did usurp the power of the presidency in a way that cleared the way for future abuse (read: Bush, George W). I guess no one's perfect.

* * *

I am getting more surfers from my hometown now. This is a result of my membership with VerveEarth. This is a site where you can find blogs that "represent" your area. Because of this, I am going to make my blog a little more Evansville, IN (and tri-state area) relevent. However, it will be just a little more locally relevent. It will not lose the flavor it has always had.

* * *

I am going to reveal Psychosomatic Wit's favorite song for each year for the past 40 years. The first year will be 1968 and will be included in the next post. If anyone knows where there is a site that anyone can listen to a song that I can either imbed or provide a link to, let me know. People should, at least, get a chance to hear it.

* * *

Why is it that some people think that they must back into their driveways or in parking spots at businesses. This practice bothers me to no end. I mean, I do know there is times when it is necessary or overly convenient. For instance, I back in my mother's drive when I am taking her with me. It shortens the distance that she has to travel from the door to the car (she is disabled). However, some folks just do it all the time for no apparent reason almost like think it is "cool" or something. One could argue that it is easier to leave, etc., but I think the ease of leaving doesn't make up for the trouble of arriving. Plus, usually someone has to wait for the yahoo to stop and back into the drive. It just drives me nuts!

Read Any Good Books Lately?

2008-06-04T16:42:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged by someone (I am sorry, I can't find who it was) to do a book meme. It involves a book I am currently reading.

Here are the rules:

1. Grab the nearest book. If you are currently reading something, that'll be fine too.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences on your Blog along with these instructions.

5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet I know that is what you were thinking!

6. Tag 5 people.

Here is the passage:

"I don't know when I have ever been so tired in my life. I can't even imagine how Gran holds up because I can barely move. All of us look as though we have been endlessly ill. Even little Alex is dragging."

This passage is from Go Ask Alice, by Anonymous. The book is interesting, but the story behind the book is probably more interesting. Back in the early 1970's, when it was published, it was classified as a work of nonfiction - a diary account of a 15-year-old girl's account of life and drug abuse. However, there has been some controversy whether or not this is accurate. Since then, it is considered a work of fiction.

Beatrice Sparks is the editor (and many think the author) of the book. She is a psychologist and youth counselor who supposedly constructed the diary from a patient of her's. She admits to adding some things that were not in the original patient's diary, but were based on the patient's counseling sessions. No one, but Sparks, really knows the truth. Sparks has published subsequent diaries with similar subject matter attributed to anonmymous patients of hers. At any rate, it is a quick and interesting read. Despite the controversy, or perhaps because of it, it continues to be a best seller.

Okay, before I tag folks, I want to, with hat in hand, ask which one of you tagged me with this. I am so ashamed. If you are the one, and you can put the link to your page where the tag lies, I will edit this and give your blog a plug. So please ???

I am going to tag . . . (watch me tag the person who tagged me like a dork):

Meg at Confessions of an Impulsive Liar (although I don't expect her to respond very soon because she is getting married this weekend - Congratulations Meg! My invitation must have been lost in the mail, by the way ;) ), Mother Hen, Brian at The Office (blog), Charles at Am I Thinking That?, and Chris at Inane Thoughts.

Okay, if any of you have done this before, but it has been a while, DO IT AGAIN! I did once before back in November of '06. Surely you are on another book by now! ;)

Scott McClellan, Mary Kay, and the Triple Crown

2008-05-29T15:11:00.007-05:00

NEWS - Former White House spokesman Scott McClellan wrote a tell-all book about some major issues in the Bush White House. In response, the Bush team all recite the same mantra: "It is puzzling. He never said anything to us at the time that he had these thoughts. It doesn't sound like the Scott McClellan I know."

Apparently, according to McClellan, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, and Scooter Libby lied about their involvement in exposing CIA operative Valerie Plame. Also, and even more importantly, the Bush administration exaggerated and trumped up reasons to justify going to war in Iraq and relied on propaganda (McClellan's words not mine) to convince the American people to go along with it.

Excuse me, but is this really news to anyone?

ENTERTAINMENT - Can't Hollywood make a movie that critics will like? I get so tired of looking forward to a movie (read: Indiana Jones) and find out that critics chop it to shreds before I get a chance to see it. It is not that I believe the critics; I believe in judging for myself for the most part. However, reading that a movie stinks sure takes the excitement out of seeing it. I think that maybe movie critics should review movies in a more measured way. For instance, they might say if you like "x", then you will like this movie. After all, we don't all have the same taste, do we?

WRITING - I am mulling over whether or not I should apply to be on our local paper's editorial advisement board. Board members have input on the editorial pages and write one column per month. If you think I should try, what posts do you think I should send to the paper (I must submit three "articles").

SPIRIT - I just can't seem to get my priorities in order. Intellectually I can reason the right order of things, but they do not manifest themselves in actuality in my life. God first, family second, job third. I just don't seem to let God take the wheel enough.

FAMILY - My wife is now a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant. Can you believe that? She is so introverted and shy that it just seems like a bad fit in that respect. However, she cares and knows a ton about fashion and make-up, so that part fits. This line is continued in the next section.

LOVE - My wife, the Mary Kay rep, originally decided NOT to do it for the reasons I mentioned above. However, since her father and another counselor told her that in order for her life and marriage to improve, she must step outside her comfort zone, she decided to do the Mary Kay thing. It cost us a fortune to get her started, but if it helps her and us, it will be money well spent. Now, who out there is interested in me recovering some of this investment, uh, I mean who out there is interested in Mary Kay cosmetics?

ANGUISH - My renter guy is really pushing me beyond the brink. All of the sudden he is trying to insist I put on a new roof on the house I am renting to him. The deal was that I would rent the house to him for an extremely low amount so he could put some money into the house. Therefore, when he buys the house (for a low, pre-improvement price) it will be in good shape. We knew that the roof was going to be needing replaced at some point, but there was no mention of ME doing it. I think it has a couple of good years left. He thinks that I should rent it to him (at about 40% discount, pay to have a new roof put on, and STILL sell it to him as if I didn't put a new roof on). I am this ---> <--- close to giving him the boot.

SPORTS - Two thirds of the Triple Crown of horse racing is in the books. There is a very good chance that the undefeated Big Brown will be the first horse in thirty years to win all three races of the crown. He was not even tested in the first two. However, a horse from Japan named Casino Drive is coming in to try to steal the crown from him. This horse has impressive credentials and is also undefeated. It will be quite the race to watch. For those interested, is Saturday, June 6 on ABC, at 5 pm EDT.

Important News: Jeff is going to die.

2008-05-22T08:50:00.004-05:00

When I was a child, I thought about death a lot. I was even afraid to go to sleep, because I thought I might never wake up. I also thought that my parents would leave me one day in death and how that would be unbearable. Death was never my friend.

As I got older, my thoughts of death got a little more complicated. I often wondered how and when I would die. Usually, I thought about cancer. Cancer robbed my uncle and aunt of their life when I was a small child. It took my dad on my birthday the summer after my high school graduation. Everytime I had a strange pain, I always wondered if it was cancer.

I came to the conclusion that I didn't want to know how or when I was going to die. However, the recent news has eliminated that from consideration. I will look to it as a blessing because I know I have a brief time to put things in order. I just wish I would have found out in different manner than I did. I found out in an email of all things. I guess it is appropriate for a blogger. I guess I could have gotten feedback from one of my blog posts instead, but the email is appropriate enough, I guess.

Because I have grown to care about those of you that read my blog, and many of you have come to care about me, I decided to share the bad news email with you:
___________________________________________

SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end like this if you don't comply, i was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within10 days.

Someone you call your friend wants you dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told us that he wants you dead and he provided us your names, photograph and other necessary information we needed about you. If you are in doubt with this I will send you your name and where you are residing in my next mail.

Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately because I just felt something good and sympathetic about you. I decided to contact you first and know why somebody will want you dead by all means. Right now my men are monitoring you, their eyes are on you, and even the place you think is safer for you to hide might not be.

Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? It is up to you. Get back to me now if you are ready to enter deal with me, I mean life trade, who knows, and I might just spear your life, $8,000 is all you need to spend. You will first of all pay $3,000 then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead to you and when the tape gets to you, you will pay the remaining $5,000. If you are not ready for my help, then I will have no choice but to carry on the assignment after all I have already being paid before now.

Warning: do not think of contacting the police or even tell anyone because I will extend it to any member of your family since you are aware that somebody want you dead, and the person knows some members of your family as well.

For your own good I will advise you not to go out once is 7 pm until I makeout time to see you and give you the tape of my discussion with the person who want you dead then you can use it to take any legal action. Good luck as I await your reply to this e-mail contact:

b.patbulle224@gmail.com
Mr.Celestine chuks
________________________________________________

There you have it. I thought about taking him up on his offer to help, but decided that I would just assume be shot than have my life "speared." I just hope that any money he gets from other would-be victims will help him with any future "English as a Second Language" classes he undoubtedly needs. You would think a guy with this kind of lucrative business would have a secretary that . . . oh nevermind, I digress.

Well, it was good knowing all of you. If there is a way that we could beat this, I would be all for it. If I could get thousands of emails from my readers to this guy warning him that we have our own militia looking out for "his boys" - and we have stronger weapons than the spears that he touts, maybe that would do something. Nah, probably not.

Sayre: Psychosomatic Wit is Excellent

2008-05-13T09:58:00.009-05:00

I think about this blog a lot - probably too much. I had an idea about what I wanted this blog to be before I started it. It is not that. However, I have more information about blogs and what they are and can be now - knowledge that I didn't have then. I like my blog. I like this community. Still, I am conflicted.

I did NOT want this blog to be a diary. I did NOT want to filter my opinions. I had no clue that a community would develop that I would care about. This causes me to want to be careful to not offend others' opinions. I believed that I would be writing to strangers about my opinions and insights about the world around us. Some would agree; others would disagree. I didn't care as long it was interesting and discussion inspiring. Plus, I thought my blog would be somewhat humorus.

So what is my blog? It is a little diary, a little opinion/insight and really not so funny. For some reason, some people like it and that humbles me. I am sure it will continue to evolve, but I think for the most part, it is what it is. It has its own identity. It lives, breathes, cares, and reacts to you - all of you - even the lurkers. Thanks for being a friend of the psycho!

_________________________________

Sayre from SayreSmiles has given me the honor of having an excellent blog. She should know, she has an excellent one, herself.

I must now pick blogs that qualify as excellent. This is both easy and hard. It is easy because there are many excellent blogs out there. It is hard, because choosing is ALWAYS hard. I also do not want to duplicate other picks. Here we go:

Jod{i} at Looking Beyond the Cracked Window has an excellent blog. She often gets deep and lets her thoughts dictate her posts in an unbridled manner. Somehow it always has a way of making sense and makes me ponder life from her perspective.

Another great blog is Am I Thinking That. Charles has such a sincere blog - kind of like Linus' pumpkin patch. He uses his blog to learn about life from himself and his readers. Its uniqueness like that keeps me coming back.

Stephanie (a.k.a. HollyGl) has a relatively new blog called Meaningful Malarchy. Normally, I wouldn't think to put a new blog up, but only the blog is new. Stephanie has been a masterful blogger for a while. She is sensitive, caring, and quite a find.

Crow's Feet is another blog that is worthy of this award. Michelle uses her uncommon understanding of the spiritual to shape her blog. She is also very caring and that translates to a warmth when reading her blog.

Meg, as far as I know, is not REALLY a liar. However, her blog Confessions of a Compulsive Liar is excellent. Meg captures her present drama surrounding her family, upcoming nuptuals, and of course, the office. If she is a compulsive liar and made the whole thing up, she is darn good at it!

Emily is the one that got me started blogging. She even tweaked this blog for me so it would look better than some lame, blogger-supplied template. Her blog, Two Write Hands is one of the best things out there in blogland. Emily has a way of making her readers sincerely care about her and her life. Remember her name; she will undoubtedly be famous some day!

Chris at Inane Thoughts has a great blog. It covers everything from food recipes to martial arts - but mainly just life itself. It is also good to get a man's perspective since blogging seems to be a primarily female endeavor.

Another male blog of note is Byzantium's Shores. Kelly's blog covers a ton of different topics. He talks of sports (particularly Buffalo sports), literature, movies, and other blogs. Not only that, he posts quite often so there is ALWAYS something fresh. Excellent blog!

Kristarella is a Christian scientist from Australia. Need I say more when it comes to interesting? She blogs about a lot of things and even has a photo blog. Check her out!

And finally something different: Rodger Johnson is Your PR Guy. This blog is more of a business-oriented blog exploring different aspects and strategies for public relations. The reason this blog is interesting is that its content targets US! It is an excellent blog to see how companies approach its marketing and relations with the buying public. Maybe you can pick up some tips for making your blog more popular.

There are other great blogs out there that I read. Many just as deserving as those I listed. It is a great blog world out there! Go read it!

Rummage Sale Blues

2008-05-05T16:17:00.006-05:00

I survived the weekend rummage sale. I can't believe all the work it was and all the drama that ensued from it.

On Saturday when we set up, we had the old retired guys stroll in and ask for tools. No tools. What we did have is clothes. We had nice clothes, too, Anne Taylor Loft, Abercrombie and Fitch, Talbots, and assorted other mall store apparel. The trouble is, that they were all sizes 4-8 longs and small and extra small tops. That is my wife! (I feel so unman right now. At least I didn't say "cute tops." Guys should never use the term "top" to describe a shirt, nor should they use the term "cute" to describe anything but a girl, but I digress.) Anyway, the trouble with these sizes is that rummage share shoppers are generally NOT that size. They are breakfast biscuit totin', men's sweat pants wearin', full-figured gals. That is fine with me, except they don't buy my wife's clothes. As a matter of fact, they look at the size tags and scoff, as if we don't know how to market to the "pro's."

I know what you're thinking. No, they weren't scoffing at the price. I would say that $0.25 for an Aeropostale SHIRT isn't something to scoff at. So, if you are in the market for the aforementioned sized clothing for cheap, check out our local Goodwill Stores, because that is where they are now.

Around lunch time, my sister announces that she doesn't feel "right". This is the sister that is STILL waiting for disability because she has every malady in the book. A short time later, she goes into a seizure and we had to call for an ambulance. She is STILL in the hospital as I type. The odd thing about it is that, the shoppers didn't miss a beat. They continued shopping like they were glad that there was one less person to compete with for the curling irons and roller sets that were in limited supply. I assume that they were trying to be polite and not gawk at the spectacle, but maybe that is wishful thinking.

When the weekend was over, we didn't get rid of very many of the big items - the important ones that would free up space. I don't even know how much we made. I haven't felt like even counting it. My wife and I were exhausted, sunburned and after the clean-up, we were pretty much in bed by 8:30 Sunday night.

Monday morning, I get a call from my tenant complaining about some things about the sale. Little things like a couple of stones out of place and two balloons that somehow got loose and got caught up in a wire. He also complained that some stuff marked "free" was ransacked overnight and a mess was made. He lectured me how certain items were not going to be picked up by the garbage service.

I told him that I okay'd all that with him before we put it out there and HE told me that the garbage men would pick up all the stuff that was left. He replied that he shouldn't have told me that. "Oh, my fault," I thought. "I shouldn't have let YOU tell me that." However, I went and took care of all of it. However, we are going to butt heads on the extra building on the property I use for storage. He hinted that I am going to have to rent a storage space somewhere for anything that didn't sale. Not going to happen. I rent the house to him dirt cheap. I pay $250 every month for him to live there (my mortgage payment minus his rent). I am not going to pay more than that to store stuff when I OWN the extra building. When he buys the place, I will move it; I will be able to afford it then - but not until then. I have offered sharing some space in there for him to store some things, but we'll see what happens.

I guess I just don't have enough drama in my life. One day at a time . . .

Fundie Mormons, Blog Debates, and Cardell McFarland

2008-04-30T16:24:00.006-05:00

It is time again for another version of what is going on in Jeff's head. I guess the first thing that is going on is that he is referring to himself in the third person - just kidding. I did make another revision in the whole NEWS FLASH format. "W" no longer designates "work." Now it stands for "writing." Work is just too boring to refer to every time. If something exciting happens, I can work it into some other category or just make a post devoted to it.

NEWS - I didn't really want to comment on the FLDS (Fundemental Latter Day Saints) church, but it just won't go away in the news, will it? Now it comes to the attention of the public through the media that a majority of the teenage girls that were taken from the compound were either pregnant or already mothers. I don't feel the need to comment on that particular aspect. I am sure that everyone has their own feelings about it. Instead, I will just state that not only do I feel sorry for the girls whose childhood was robbed from them, but I also feel sorry for the mainstream Mormon church and really, all religions in general. We all have taken a beating from the events surrounding Eldorado, Texas.

Unfortunately for him and his supporters, but it is my guess that Mitt Romney can forget about any vice-presidential ambitions now. Society loves the concept of "guilty by association", even if that association is nonexistant for any practical purpose.

ENTERTAINMENT - CBS's Big Brother is now over for this cycle. It was more satisfying this year than last. The last two standing this time were two likeable guys. Where last year, the last two were the the two one would LEAST want to win (with apologies to Evel Dick), it resulted that there was apathy over the final show of the cycle. This year, most people were satisfied with whoever won in the last episode. I guess the only thing more satisfying is if a desirable is up against an undesirable and the desirable wins. Maybe next time.

WRITING - Apparently, I am still blogging. I am torn between being overly nice in debating situations, or just let 'em rip. I have a lot of experience debating on some board sites where people are just brutal to one another. I am not for that at all. However, I do not mind a little edgy bantering as long as there are no PERSONAL attacks. Right now, I am stuck in limbo when it applies to this blog. Doggone it, I love a good debate!

SPIRIT - A lot of people who claim to be Christians do not act like it. I touched on this a bit with my last post - at least in the comment section. People should be recognized as Christian by the fruit they bear.

"The single greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable" -- Brennan Manning

FAMILY - We are having the big rummage sale this weekend. I am dreading it. It is quite an undertaking. It will help if we can move a bunch of stuff, though. I am having it at my house that I have been trying to sell. Wish me luck!

LOVE - Since the near divorce a few short weeks ago, things have been quite nice with my wife. It is really odd how life and marriage is in my world. I hope we turned the corner, but I have had that hope many times before. Hopefully, I can learn to trust her again. Hopefully, I will find good reason to.

ANXIETY - I don't want to mention driving again, but it is the first thing I always think of - you know the people that believe that traffic laws do not apply to them. Trying to keep five dogs quiet while feeding and letting them out at 5 am is right up there, too, for causing anxiety. The misbehaving kindergartners I tutor do their fair share of being grey hair causing agents. I guess right now, it is the upcoming rummage sale that has got my anxiety-filled attention this week.

SPORTS - A kid who went to my high school signed a national letter of intent to play basketball for Missouri State. Cardell McFarland has worked hard in a Maine prep school to make sure he was ready, both physically, and scholastically to play college basketball. Most didn't think he would ever play in college. So far, so good. I'm pulling for him. He could be a GREAT college basketball player. Remember his name!

HOME - As far as buying the "dream house" as mentioned in the last NEWS FLASH, wiser heads prevailed and we are passing on it. Fortunately for me, my wife caught a little wisdom herself so I avoided being the bad guy. We are definitely going to move, barring the marriage takes another hit, but we need more time and money. Doesn't everyone?

Do We Really Care?

2008-04-26T09:45:00.006-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, I informed anyone who would "listen" that I would express my opinion on any topic that they desired. I did get some requests via email. Not long after that, drama ensued in my life leaving this little exercise on the back burner. However, me being the honor-my-commitments kind of guy, I am going to deal with one of them today. Since this request came via email, I can only assume that the sender wanted to remain anonymous. So he/she shall be in this post also.

The question of the day is: Do people STILL care about others today in this morally depraved world?

This question assumes that people, for the most part, did care for others and now there is not enough evidence to take that concept as a given. I am not prepared to concede that given, but I can leave that argument for another time (or you can draw your own conclusions based on this response).

One interesting thing about principles and rules is that there are always exceptions. Some even argue that the exception proves the rule. Thank God there may be exceptions to the rule I have discovered about caring people. There are some caring people out there; there must be! However, truly it is a rare thing. Often times, we read in the paper where someone did a very giving thing and helped out his fellow man at personal cost or inconvenience. It makes it in the paper or on the television news because it is unusual. If it weren't, it would be commonplace and hardly newsworthy. Because it makes it into the media, we have the reaction of, "see, there ARE good people in the world!" Alas, I must conclude, however, that the exception proves the rule - that rule being: For the most part, people do NOT really care about others.

Sure, people say they care. They may even believe, at some level, that they do care about others. We know, that talk is cheap and only by our actions can we really discover how caring we are. True active care and compassion just doesn't happen with much regularity. It takes a great deal of strength to put stated compassion into action. However, we are not as strong as we think we are. There have been many studies done on this. ABC's Primetime Live and/or 20/20 has shown hidden camera reports how most people ignore or avoid situations where perhaps God or even good morality would convict them to help a fellow human. People just don't want to put themselves out or risk their own safety to help others. No one is willing to sacrifice. They just can't get involved in something that won't benefit them in some way, much less, set themselves back. It just isn't done.

We are greedy. Oh, it isn't totally our fault, we grow up in a system that rewards greed - in fact, it glorifies it. Many believe that capitalism is a system sent by God. However, all it is really is dressed up greed. Today, it runs amok. Let the market decide! Well, the market decided that Walmart is our goods god, and Mom and Pop stores aren't worth our time or money. Guess what? Mom and Pop are humans trying to get by in this world. Who cares? We aren't going to pay an extra quarter to Mom and Pop as long as the Walton family has anything to say about it by offering "lower prices, everyday. Find us right next to the general store with the boarded up windows" No sacrifice. Greed. Greed by the Waltons. Greed by the consumer.

However, we cannot blame the Waltons nor our bad neighbors that won't patronize Mom and Pop anymore. We can't because greed is a disease. It permeates all of us. It is all we know and it is the consequence of a fallen world. We have to look out for Number One, don't we? Of course, we do! No one else will because of their own greed. We are forced to be greedy or risk ending up like Mom and Pop.

There are also other things that add to our selfishness. Fifteen percent of our population either suffers from depression now or has at some point in their lives. Depression is a selfish disease of the soul - the heart of what we are. When a person is in depression mode, they care nothing about nor even realize the needs of the people around them. If the depression does not act as a contageon (which often times it does), the selfishness that bathes in it will certainly be contageous - if for no other reason for suvival reasons. Depression is another result of the fall of mankind.

The opposite of greed and selfishness is sacrifice. We just don't. The world calls us foolish for sacrificing for others. The golden rule today isn't, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." No, it is do unto others FIRST, before they have a chance to do unto you." Make sure you get yours. Of course, some do sacrifice for others - their time, even money. However, often times it is a calculated move. Do you think that big corporations give to needy causes because they are good? Nope. They give because it looks good for them. That money comes straight out of their marketing budget. Plus, they get tax breaks on top of it. We, as individuals, get a payback for being kind to others in a different way. We do it because it gives us a good reputation. There also may be a monetary reward for our good deeds. Sometimes we do it so we can convince ourselves that we are good. There is not much more valuable to a human being than a well-placed ego stroke.

When I think of sacrifice, I think of Jesus. By all records, He didn't do ONE thing for his own interest. He dedicated His life in its entirety, including His death, for the direct benefit of others. Still, those who are Christians among us, praise Him, but act the opposite in our own lives.

Is it hopeless? It appears so in the big picture, but not so much in our individual lives. However, it takes effort. I sold my beloved truck to a neighbor for well below its value. He needed transportation to make a living (in a truck) and to take care of his wife who was in poor health. Am I tooting my own horn? Hardly. Not a day goes by when I get tempted to question my action because it kind of put me out. I have to force myself to believe it was the right thing to do sometimes. I must shamefully admit that the disease of self runs through my blood also. However, we can make the effort and choose to be caring and selfless. It is somewhat artificial because it is against our nature, but we can do it. That should give us hope that we CAN be the exception to this rule.

It, indeed, takes strength to pursue a life of caring for others - uncommon strength.

We are frail

We are fearfully and wonderfully made

Forged in the fires of human passion

Choking on the fumes of selfish rage

And with these our hells and our heavens

So few inches apart

We must be awfully small

And not as strong as we think we are

--Rich Mullins

No, we are not as strong as we think we are. But, perhaps there is hope.

The Blogging Dilemma

2008-04-21T10:16:00.005-05:00

From time to time, most bloggers come to a blogging crossroads where they wonder if they should continue. After all, blogging eats up a lot of time and it is a kind of thankless, self-indulgent sort of undertaking, isn't it? I have been at this crossroad before, and opted to continue. Logic would have it that the more one encounters this crossroad, the more likely he will choose to end his blog. This is because deciding to continue from the last crossroads encounter got him back the place where he must question the intelligence of continuing.

Why would I end this journey now?

1. The first thing that comes to mind is that inevitably if one blogs about anything near and/or dear to anyone else, drama is bound to ensue eventually. It is very easy to have one's intentions misconstrued when there is only the written words. The Lord knows that I have been in pickles with friends of mine concerning emails in the past. I take full responsibility for stepping on others' toes when it is my writing that delivers the blow to the lower phalanges of my readers. It is rather stressful to have to think about it and worry about pre-screening when one is "in the zone." In my current state of mind, when it comes to blogging, I would rather give it up then hurt or upset people I have come to care about.

2. The popularity of this blog has dwindled in recent weeks. My technorati authority number is half of what it used to be, for example. I don't really think it is less interesting, but I wouldn't, would I? I think it has to do with me posting less frequently than I used to because my life is so chaotic right now. Not only am I blogging less, but I also have less time to read your blogs and comment. There is an obligatory element among the blog community that operates under the 'blog rule of reciprocity". This states that if you comment on mine, I will comment on yours. Stop coming to mine, don't look for me on yours. I would rather not participate in this kind of mentality. I read and comment on your blogs because I want to - when I find the time. There are many blogs I read and comment on from time to time and I NEVER hear from them here. It is a mutually exclusive relationship for me. Still, there is a definite pattern there that can't be ignored. I would like to think that this blog will bring readers and commenters because of its content, not because of the social rules of blog society. I guess we would all like to think this.

Why would I continue?

1. I guess blogging and my little corner of the blog community is a part of me now. I would miss it and you a lot.

2. I NEED to write. I haven't given up my dreams of writing bigger and better things. I endeavor to be a relevant writer. Blogging gives me an incentive to write regularly. That is important for a writer. Part of me thinks that if I stop here, I will eventually stop altogether. Another dream dead is a depressing thought, isn't it?

My Options

1. Obviously, I could quit. I really don't have time for a hobby anyway. Any of the 10,000 people over the past years wanting to buy my project car decaying in the back of my mother's driveway can attest to that.

2. I could quit THIS blog and start another one that is less personal and more controversial. I can learn to not care about what others think of me and concentrate on the issues. It would kind of leave the "community" aspect of the way blogging is for me now, but trade it in for this kind of thing.

3. I could just continue the way things are and chalk it up to the reality of the world of blogging.

I must admit that all three of these options are somewhat depressing which again brings up the question, "Really, what IS the point?" I wonder what you think. . .

How Bad is Bush?

2008-04-18T11:41:00.003-05:00

A dear friend of mine has raised the issue of the Bush presidency not being as bad as many perceive it to be. I thought it may be worthwhile to explore this.

My personal opinion of Bush is that he may be the worst president that we have ever had. The only thing I can think of that was positive is that he did a good job with Aids in Africa. I respect him for that. Besides that, though, he took an economy that was finally in the black and trashed it to the point that now we are in a recession. In addition, he put us in a war that was unnecessary and cost more American lives than the 9/11 tragedy. What's more, he has trampled on our liberties with his "anti-terrorists" tactics. He even trashed the reputation of his party. Barring some Democratic catastrophe, they have no chance in keeping the White House or recapturing either house of Congress.

These arguments did not dissuade my friend from removing her "I'm a Bushie, and Darned Proud of it" bumper sticker. Instead she countered my arguments with, "No, Bush is not the worst. Carter, Nixon, Clinton....all come to mind.We were in the black until 9/11 hit; our country just hasn't fully recovered from that. I think blaming Bush is a scapegoat. During his presidency home ownership has been at an all time high (esp among blacks), unemployment was at an all-time low, and we've had no other terrorists attacks on U.S. soil. I don't think people grasp what has been done to protect us. There are fascists out there who want to kill us. This is why I support the war on terror. After two years of fighting in the Revolutionary War, it grew quite unpopular. I doubt anyone would consider that a waste. Our liberties have been trampled by groups like the ACLU and even Congress. Bush has alienated folks in the Republican party because he is not tough enough. He has folded to the whims of special interest groups and the likes of Pelosi and Reid."

Her response is the kind of thing that keeps me an independent. When I see the Republican and Democratic talking points, I always question them for truth and accuracy. Her rebuttal reminded me that Obama is not the only one with Kool-Aid drinking followers. No offense to her, though. ;)

I will concede that Carter and Nixon were not good presidents. Carter was naive and Nixon was a crook. Nixon was bad, not just because of the crooked activities, but because he is a lot of the reason we have a healthcare crisis in this country. Clinton's job performance was fantastic, though. I can't believe any fair minded person could say, with a straight face, that it was anything other than glowing. As I mentioned in my post, personal and moral lackings aside, was it the peace or the prosperity that people such as my friend objected to the most?

However, Bush is at a whole other level of failure than Carter and Nixon - for the reasons I stated above. However, let's look at what my friend gives him credit for.

Yep, we were in the black before 9/11 - just months after Bush's first term started. Clinton put us in the black after fixing the economic mess that Reagan started and Bush, Sr. kept going.

Homeownership went up - Yes, and the reason was the subprime mortgage disaster. Blacks and Hispanics were hurt the worst with a record number of foreclosures.

Unemployment has been down and that is good, however, the confirming factor that we are, indeed, in a recession, is because in recent months we are losing thousands of jobs - 80,000 just last month and 150,000 since the end of January.

No OTHER terrorist attacks on US soil - I think this is the lamest of all "achievements" that Bushies claim. Gee, we have also had no large meteors hit the Earth, none of the seven plagues of Egypt has befallen us, and no invasions from beings from other planets, either. These things and the fact that California hasn't been detached and lost to the Pacific should encourage us all to put "W" on Mt. Rushmore. You know what? Bush has had more terrorist attacks on US soil than Richard Nixon.

The War on Terror ended, for all practical purposes when the US invaded Iraq. Bin Laden and al Quaida were not in Iraq, they were in the mountainous area around the Afghanistan/Pakistan border. The US diverted way too many resources to the mindless war in Iraq before the job was complete in the terrorist region. The War in Iraq should not be confused with the "War on Terror" - which can't really be won, by the way. We can only hope to contain it.

Comparing the Iraq war with the American Revolution has caught me speechless. I will just let it sit out there without rebuttal.

Our liberties have been trampled by tactics from the Bush administration that enables people to be bugged and have other privacy matters violated without a warrant all in the name of the "Patriot Act." New Rule: Republicans are not allowed to use the word "patriot" until the Bush administration has officially come to a close.

I am no fan of the ACLU, however, and think it has missed its "should-be" focus.

Bush has failed his own party because of all the things I have mentioned, not because of some perceived weakness. Popularity fuels a political party and Bush is one of the least popular presidents in history. If he was a stronger Bush (i.e. pursuing his failed policies more aggressively), I don't think he could survive to the end of his term. My gosh, why do you think the Republicans nominated McCain? It is because he is a maverick (by Republican standards anyway).

So there you have it, Jeff's view of the Bush presidency? What do others of you think? Give me some feedback or at least participate in the poll below (it is way down there so keep scrolling). If you do both, you get Psychosomatic Wit brownie points!

Scroll Down To Vote!
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	Who is the worst president of the US since 1900?
	Franklin D. Roosevelt
	Harry S. Truman
	Lyndon B. Johnson
	Richard M. Nixon
	Jimmy Carter
	Ronald Reagan
	George H.W. Bush (the elder)
	William J. Clinton
	George W. Bush (the younger)
	Other (Eisenhower, Ford or Kennedy)

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Hillary, Smart People, a Mansion, and the Prodigal Wife

2008-04-15T10:21:00.011-05:00

THIS IS CONTINUED FROM THE PREVIOUS POST!

NEWS - For the reasons outlined in the previous post, Psychosomatic Wit endorses Hillary Clinton. I still believe Barack Obama will win the nomination, however. Hillary hasn't thanked me yet. You think you know a person . . .

ENTERTAINMENT - Movie Review "Smart People" - This movie is about a dysfunctional family in an academic setting. It stars Dennis Quaid as Lawrence Weatherholt, a college professor and widower. His daughter, Vanessa Wetherhold, is played by Juno's Ellen Page, and his son, James Wetherhold is portrayed sparingly by Ashton Holmes. Sarah Jessica Parker plays Quaid's new love interest, Janet Hartigan . Lawrence's adopted brother, Chuck Wetherhold, played by Thomas Haden Church adds a comedic contrast from the overly intellectual family of dysfunction.

This motion picture is entertaining enough, but it had some distractors. Ellen Page's character is very similar to the character she played in Juno. She is more conservative in this film, but her personality is very similar. There were some contradictions in the character that distracted me, but overall, it was a good performance. Sarah Jessica Parker's portrayal of Janet, former student of Quaid's and present doctor threw me off balance as the movie progressed towards a conclusion. She appeared to be the one character in the film that had it all together. However, a couple of scenes put that into question which makes the viewer wonder where one can find a sane perch to the view this spectacle. As for the other acting performances, Dennis Quaid was good enough in playing a role that isn't typical for him and Haden's portrayal of Chuck added the much needed humorous element.

Smart People is a formula movie, so it is somewhat predictable. I am one of the few people who does not mind "predictable" as long as it is done correctly. Unpredictable movies often leave a bad taste because one's mind wants an orderly resolution. This movie is good enough. If you are a movie buff and see a ton of movies, I would recommend to you to go see it. However, if you go to the theater in a more sparingly fashion, there are probably other options that would be more satisfying. It is a good rental movie. My grade - B.

WORK - I am entering into a partnership with a guy I have known all my life. We buy old vehicles, repair them, and sell them at a decent profit. He has done this sort of thing before, and has found it very profitable. Since it is going to be his main source of income, he is dedicated to the proposition. This could help us both quite a bit. Keep your fingers crossed.

SPIRIT - I have taken great comfort lately in knowing the reality of my soul and spirit. Living in this fallen world where there is lying, cheating, stealing, greed, and murder, I take great solace that I have hitched my wagon to a God that transcends all that. Knowing that no matter how hard this life is, that my permanent home is not here and that something greater is always waiting just beyond the horizon. This is not a hope, but a know. The path to this knowledge is trying to understand these things that go beyond our own scope. However, this pales in comparison to the point when we can know without understanding.

FAMILY - I recently got my sister's car repaired so she could help me with my mother more. It has been a week, and haven't seen her since. My other sister is transferring back from a nursing home into the hospital proper. Who knows how this is going to work itself out. My mother has been throwing up a lot lately. I changed around the way I dispense her medicine to her and she has been vomit-free the past four days. Praise God!

LOVE (or lunacy) - My marriage was all but ended last I NEWS FLASHED. Without getting into too much detail, she decided to stay literally in the last hour. Lest you believe that this was posturing, I know that she had to cancel plans - including stopping a realtor from putting the house on the block. I really don't know what happened. I am not prepared to write about it anyway. I do know it has something to do with me being there for her despite this adversity, and a conversation she had with her father. It has been two weeks and things have been much better for us. Perhaps she learned something that stuck. Perhaps not. At this point, I cannot let my guard down. However, the faithful romantic and cock-eyed optimist that I am is looking forward to the day that I can.

ANXIETY - For some reason, they have removed all the mailboxes (drop boxes) in the town I work. If you want to mail a letter, you must either have it ready at your own mailbox before the postman gets there, or you have to take it to the post office yourself. I don't really get this. They keep raising the price for postage, yet we are getting less service for the price. How difficult is it to empty one of these boxes while the postman is delivering at the address where the box is?

SPORTS - I entered three NCAA basketball tournament bracket contests. I won one, came in second in another and didn't place in the third. Altogether, I won $90. The irritating thing is that the one I came in second on, I actually picked the winner (Kansas) where the first place guy picked Memphis, PLUS I picked more games right than the winner of the pool. The scoring is skewed, wouldn't you say? Had I won, it would have been $350.

HOME - There is a chance that I am going to buy another house. As stupid as it sounds, one of my dream homes has come on the market. It is in the downtown historic district by the river and it was built in 1899. It was a mansion in its day. If I was only more sure about my future . . .

Psychosomatic Wit Makes Presidential Endorsement

2008-04-09T09:45:00.005-05:00

This will be a two-part of the NEWS FLASH. The first part will just be about the "News" portion of it - the much anticipated Psychosomatic Wit presidential endorsement.

NEWS - As promised, I am prepared to make my endorsement for the presidency of the United States. I honestly believe that this year is the best crop of candidates for president than any other year I can remember. Perhaps it has something to do with enduring the bottom of the barrel with GW Bush.

The Pros and Cons of the Candidates:

John McCain - I was actually prepared to vote for McCain back in 2004. I liked him. He wasn't all about the company line and saw the unfairness of the Bush tax cuts and also took a firm stand against the torture of prisoners. However, since Bush ambushed him in South Carolina in the 2004 primary, he has since had his nose too far up W's behind for me to be comfortable with him. He should forgive Bush's tactics in South Carolina, but not forget. This and the fact that he flip-flopped on his stance on the Bush tax cuts, makes me question his character. Add these things and the fact that he might as well be GW Bush when it comes to the war in Iraq, one finds that McCain will hardpressed to earn my endorsement and for that matter, the presidency.

Hillary Clinton - I was excited at the prospect that one of the best candidates in the field just happened to be a woman. Here is a woman that has had some experience in executive branch already. She has also seen the government from the legislative standpoint by serving in the senate for the past eight years. However, she is not very likeable as a person, according to most polls, and she also doesn't come off as very honest. Exaggerating about the "fire zone" she landed in during a Bosnia trip (complete with smiling children) didn't do too much to fix that reputation. There is also the whole Bush/Clinton fatigue factor where people are sick of either a Bush or a Clinton being the president.

Barack Obama - This is truly a fresh face in American politics. Obama has a charm about him that many find irresistable, almost unfathomable. Often one hears his supporters say something akin to, "There is something about him." He claims to not take lobbyist money which is a big positive. He was one of the first to speak oposition to the war in Iraq and he inspires hope and a whole new group of voters that may have never entertained the idea of getting into the political process without his candidacy. However, he has very little experience and has no real accomplishments under his belt.

* * *

I decided to pick my president in much the same manner I would pick someone to run my company. I would first look at vision and then to qualifications.

My vision of this country right now includes getting us out of the quagmire in Iraq, fixing our economy, and working towards universal healthcare. Because of this, I have to dismiss John McCain off-hand. Although I believe he WANTS to fix the economy, his economic plans (including making the unfair tax cuts permanent) is too compatible with GW Bush who trashed the economy in the first place. He has no desire for universal healthcare and he plans on a US presence in Iraq for the next 100 years. Although he compares this to our military presence in countries like Germany, Iraq is a whole other animal. It would take years and many American lives to get to a state where we can have a peaceful presence in Iraq. For now, it is just unrealistic and really, unwanted at this point.

I believe that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton both share the same kind of vision of this country as I do. So, I have to turn to their resume's. Obama served in state government in Illinois for about eight years. He has been in the US Senate for three years. In the senate, he boasts of spear heading ethics reform, although when examined closely, he wasn't THAT instrumental. Obama's best attribute is his ability to inspire hope - which shouldn't be dismissed.

Hillary Clinton has a well-rounded background for the job. Although people like to downplay her role as first lady, in the Clinton White House, she was privy to every discussion and a lot of behind the scenes policy-making. She was the head of an effort to get universal healthcare for the US. It failed because of a combination of things, but she hopefully learned something on how to get things done from the executive branch. Her eight years as senator from New York has shown her both sides of the government as it purtains to Congress and the president working together.

When deciding between these two, I had to decide what was more important, her experience or his inspiration and fresh ideas. What would a good company decide in appointing its leader. For me, it was all too practical of a decision.

PSYCHOSOMATIC WIT endorses Hillary Clinton.

This country would be better served if Clinton was the next president. Although Obama would probably be acceptable, he is only 46 years old. His age doesn't disqualify him nor should it be held against him. However, with Clinton being 60, this country has a chance at both of them being commander in chief if it desires. Clinton has the experience and vision right now, while Obama can only improve in that area with time. It would behove this country for Clinton to take her term with Obama gaining a position to better enhance a future presidency. Obama surely knows this, but doesn't care. His ambition is more important to him, it seems, than this country. As the famous psychiatrist Smiley Blanton stated, "The desire for success lubricates secret prostitutions in the soul."

If Obama is elected this year, then he will be finished serving this country in any powerful capacity at the age of 56. That is too many years wasted when he could be serving and learning for the next four to eight years and then serving as president.

There is still the concept of yet "another Clinton in the White House", the dreaded Clinton fatigue, the ol' returning the '90's. I think Bill Clinton handled this issue the best in a stump speech. He stated, "When people say the ’90s weren’t all that great, Hillary likes to say, ‘What didn’t you like? The peace or the prosperity?'"

* * *

NEWS FLASH will continue next time. Stay tuned

Friendship, Gas Prices, and "Dude"

2008-04-03T08:24:00.007-05:00

Some things that are on my mind . . .

I want to thank those of you who expressed your concern over my current situation. I want to publicly thank them and tell others where they can find them. If you want to read blogs from good and caring folks, try these:

Sayre - She's been part of my blog family from the beginning.

Jaquandor - He runs a very interesting and popular blog. He doesn't comment much, but that makes his comment here very special.

Kristen - I can't link to her because she has a private blog. We butt heads on a lot of issues, but I love her and wouldn't know what to do without her comments.

Michelle - She is my true friend from across the Atlantic. She has earned my trust in short order - which must mean she is a great gal!

The Real Mother Hen - Her name says it all. She is the only blog friend I have where I have a standing invitation to come out to her place for a visit! (Not that I blame the rest of you guys! :) )

Kristarella - This one has a good mind, a good heart, and a spirit connected with God.

Chris - a fellow dude (which is rare in blogland), a good cook, and an excellent charactor. Check him out.

Hoosiergirl - maybe the most friendly and outgoing gal on the net. I envy her ability to put it out there and make friends out the wazoo! She always makes me smile.

Bassman (the instrument not the fish) - Russell is relatively new to my blog world. Truthfully, I have a hard time reading his blog because he is estatically happy with his love life and upcoming nuptuals with his beloved Matchgirl. He is really good and genuine guy.

Thanks guys!

Changes

I am considering a change to my "NEWS FLASH". Instead of the "L" for "love", I am considering it standing for "lunacy" - even if it is just temporary.

It is time for the diet/exercise program to surface in my life. It is warm enough now to be doing things outside. Now, if it would just quit raining! Dang it, boy! This isn't Seattle, why all the rain?

Ramblings

Is there anything funnier than the "Dude" (Bud Light) commercials on TV? You know, the ones that offer a million messages that can be sent just with the word, "dude"? I rather enjoy commercials that are more concerned with entertaining me, than trying to sell me something. You can check one of these out here.

There starting construction on the bridge I must travel on every day. They did this to the other span last year and it makes for a grueling summer. You can read about me complaining about it last year here. What's the odds that someone is eager to "hear" me complain about it and hit that link?

I have a regular reader from Nebraska, but I don't know who it is. It is driving me crazy for no apparent reason. So, if you be the one, let me know with feedback or email me. I would greatly appreciate it and would be your friend for life.

I filled up my gas tank today at a station that was slow changing their prices from $3.11 to $3.32 like most had already. You know, I wish they would get Hurricane Katrina cleaned up already. You remember Hurricane Katrina, the reason that gas prices jumped $1.50 - $2.00 per gallon in one day. The prices have never come back down. It is all too fishy. I will be glad when someone who doesn't have ties to the oil industry moves in at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenune, Washington D.C. I know many will say it has nothing to do with the president, but I am not a believer in coincidences.

Upcoming

I am going to have a countdown on the most searched posts from this blog. I will do the top 3 or 5 - haven't decided yet. They keep popping up on google searches so there must be something to them, no?

In the next NEWS FLASH, in addition to the "lunacy" change, I am going to endorse a presidential candidate.

Also, I am in the mood to lay all opinions out on the line. If you want my opinion on something, ask me in feedback or send me an email. I will tell you whatever (God, politics, sports, love, family, marriage, race relations, books, movies, I can't think of anything off limits). This offer is for a limited time only - you have to catch me in the mood and right now you have. I will do two or three of these - if I get that many.

Dude.

Beginnings, Endings, Big Brother, and Gun Control

2008-03-27T16:38:00.004-05:00

NEWS - The debate has heated up in my last post concerning the 2nd Amendment (right to bear arms). The Supreme Court is expected to clarify the controversey around this in this session. See my take and the ensuing debate between Kristen (of course) and myself in Second (2nd) Amendment Right or Myth.

ENTERTAINMENT - Well, Evel Dick and I were both right; he implied that he would be back on Big Brother and I stated that if he did, it would be in the lame cameo appearance role. You can see that little exchange here, and yes I have a few reasons to believe that it was really Evel Dick.

WORK - I am kind of getting a little behind in my work. It really has never been like this before. I am usually a "stay ahead of the game" kind of guy. I really don't know what it is. I guess I am just tired and distracted.

SPIRIT - I am starting to draw closer to God. I have made some decisions that has caused some strain and pain, but it is in line with a biblical approach to life. The world screams when you move in that kind of direction and I do feel the strain. However, I do believe that it will be worth it in the long run.

FAMILY - My sister is getting back from her extended trip this weekend. She is the "good" sister that helps out with my mother and the other family members in need. I am hoping that it will give me some help, but anymore, I don't count on it.

LOVE - Life is funny. As those that have been following along at home (or at work as the case may be), last time here I defended my wife and tried to show her loving side. Well apparently, for some reason, my wife and I didn't see things the same way (I thought they were starting to get better; she didn't). She informed me that she was done and that she is getting out. Life is funny, but I am not laughing.

ANGUISH - See: "LOVE"

SPORTS - On the bright side of things, I am doing very well in my NCAA basketball tourney pools. Might come in handy for lawyer's fees.

HOME - Recently, I have hit it off with one of my commissioners. We seem to have a lot in common and can talk to each other at deeper level than most friends. In a recent conversation, he heard me mention my first car that I still have and that I have been trying to get it restored. He got excited and said, I have the garage and the help; let's get it going! Nice to have a good friend like that. He is older, wiser, and I think a good mentor-type guy. I have never had that; I was always the mentor-type for other people.

Second (2nd) Amendment Right or Myth

2008-03-23T09:31:00.004-05:00

In the News:

I would bet at this point that a lot of you are getting sick of the primary elections by now. But really, there isn’t much else going on, is there? Well, apart of Hillary coming to my town the other day and all the mess with Obama’s preacher, there is something else to talk about.

The Supreme Court is going to decide on the 2nd Amendment and the right to bear arms. The actual text of the document states, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” Many people hold the view that if the amendment states, “right to bear arms” than that is all you need to know. Others believe that there can be limitations to those rights.

It is my belief that there HAS to be limitations placed on this right. Here’s why: The framers made the point to include the precursor, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State.” This means that they found it necessary to give this reason. If you take away this reason, than perhaps the right doesn’t exist – or at least can be restricted. Since our “well regulated militias” are now armed BY the government, it is unnecessary to guarantee this right. For those of you who believe that there is an unlimited mandate for US citizens to be able to own guns, please tell me why that precursor exists in the text. Why not, instead, did the framers just state, matter of factly, without any additional conditions that the citizens have an uninhibited right to bear arms? No one has been able to answer that yet, so I doubt anyone here will be able to.

Of course, the Supreme Court may end up disagreeing with me. After all, they have been wrong before.

Without Question, There is Hope for Us All

2008-03-22T22:40:00.003-05:00

I believe that Easter is an important enough event that it bears mentioning in this blog. As I think of it, I think of how important the resurrection of Christ actually is. Many people believe that he didn't come back to life - that it was a hoax or a myth, but it isn't really important. They believe that what Jesus taught is the most important thing about the whole Jesus story. But it isn't.

You see, Jesus conquering death is the only reason we have to believe that we can too, if we follow Him. If He merely died and rotted away somewhere, where does that leave us? Sure we can love each other and feed the poor, but we have no real hope, do we, if the resurrection is a myth. It is a good thing that there is plenty of evidence to believe. Maybe this evidence will stir some faith in those who just aren't sure what to believe. With that, I give you an encore post from Easter of last year.

_______________________________________

I think it has chilled some recently, but there was a movement in Christian circles to ban the traditional name for this holiday and call it Resurrection Sunday instead. I mock these types of movements usually, but I certainly understand why this particular one came about. To Christians, this holiday isn’t about a big bunny, eggs, and a ton of candy. No, it is about the hope and the delivery of all in the world to overcome death and escape the bounds that we are stuck in and conditioned to from birth. Still, “Easter”, in present name, means that to me. I guess I am fine with it.

I am reminded at this time of the year how miraculous the Christian faith really is. A fairly large group of individuals followed their spiritual leader only to watch him miserably and shamefully die. From all accounts, they and their new belief system took a large blow. This execution also killed the new religion of these men and women. They went back to their old lives with their tails between their legs.

Then, something happened. The new faith surged! There was talk of this man Jesus actually be seen – returning from the dead as He said He would and talking and teaching to His followers. Even though the tomb was empty and there was no sign of the body, that doesn’t mean he resurrected, does it? Many of the skeptics accused Jesus’ followers from bribing the soldiers guarding the tomb and stealing the body. There were all kinds of theories.

Yet, something happened that took these dejected followers from their hopeless lives and brought them back to preaching Jesus resurrected. They, by the hoards, were willingly dying for this new belief system. Non-believing historians such as the Roman Tacitis and the Jewish Josephus recorded the unlikely events of this new Christian group - that they grew from nothing and hopelessness, to zealots in the name of this Jesus who was rumored to have conquered death. The disturbing query was this: why would these people come back to this faith, preaching a resurrected Jesus if they merely stole and hid the body? Why would they willingly die for a cause they knew was a lie? They knew if they really saw Him. They knew if they really hid his body? What would they gain but death?

Today, as we watch the kiddies run and find their eggs – when we are gorging on ham and chocolate, remember the resurrection. It is more than a rumor about one teacher long ago coming back to life. It was that and more. Easter reminds us that life-changing hope was resurrected by a group of people who actually knew whether or not there was hope. The facts they really knew and their lives that had to respond to those facts gives hope to us all.

Discipline or Child Abuse

2008-03-18T08:51:00.007-05:00

It's Tuesday and that means I have to tutor my two kindergartners today. I DREAD it. I wonder if that makes me not a "little kid" person. I tend to not think so. What many readers may think after this entry is that I am not a "little kid" person for another reason. I believe in discipline.

This is the reason that I dread the time I spend with these little kids; they have no discipline. They are rude, whiney and disobedient. It frustrates me because if they were my kids, it would not be so - not for long anyway. My belief is that my kids will go through bad spells to "remind" them why normally they aren't rude, whiney, and disobedient.

Will I be the master of the "time out"? Not on your life. Will I only reason with my little kids and explain to them why they must not act this way? Maybe, but only after the dust settles. No, my kids will taste the consequences of disobedience and find it a bitter pill.

Kids do not understand enough to reason. They cannot even start thinking abstractly until they get close to adolescence (see Jean Piaget's cognitive developmental stage theory). They think more concretely. What is concrete? It is cause and effect. If I do this, I suffer this punishment. I do that, I earn praise and reward. A little kid obeys because of this. Later, he understands the merits of the positive behavior as something deeper than reward and/or punishment - but that is LATER.

So what do we have here? The main problem with misbehaving young children is that their butts are too tight. They are too tight because they haven't had to remove their daddy's size 9 from it often enough.

"Oh, but Jeff, you are so cruel!"

On the contrary, someone wiser than me has written, "Spare the rod and HATE your child." It doesn't say "spoil" as most of us have heard, it is "hate". You do your children no service by allowing them to act up. In fact, you set them up for struggles as they get older and even in adulthood. I would argue that allowing a child to grow up without the tools to be able to function in the real world is REAL CHILD ABUSE. That is why you "hate" him if you do not provide proper discipline.

You do yourself no favor, either, by not stepping in to insure that your child learns to be a good and polite citizen. You are judged by your children. When I think of the mother of these kids I tutor, I do not think of her fondly. The same book as mentioned above affirms this thought, "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left undisciplined brings his mother to shame" (Proverbs 29:15).

"Big words, Jeff, but wait till you have your own kids. It will be different."

Of course it is easy for someone to talk about his mythical children and how great they are (or will be). However, because of my family situation, I have already experienced this. When I was a young man - fresh out of college, I raised my two nephews. They behaved. As a matter of fact, I only remember "disciplining" one of them in this manner after the age of seven or so. My youngest nephew stole some things from some people in his life and I found out about it. When he was caught, I explained to him how wrong and disappointed I was in him. Then, I made an appointment with him for an hour later. At that time, he met me in my bedroom where I explained things to him and also explained that this impending discipline was the most difficult act I could do out of love. The next day, I asked him if he understood why I disciplined him in that manner. He replied, "Yes, because you love me and you want me to live a good life." At that point, I knew that this kind of punishment would never be needed again for this boy.

When a child is younger than this, he only understands the consequences and not the abstract reasoning behind it. He doesn't want to be punished; he wants to be praised. He also, if a balance of discipline and praise in the confines of love are shown, does not want to earn his parents' disappointment.

"So Jeff, you want your kids to fear you?"

You betcha! During the preoperational stage of a child, fear = respect. Respect is an abstract concept. A child won't fear the parent 24/7 if the parent metes out fair and just punishment. They only fear the consequences of bad behavior that is meted out by the parent and will respect the parent that has the authority to dish it out. God didn't entrust parents to be their children's best friends, He entrusted them to train them in the way they should go.

"Okay Jeff, you are teaching your child that violences is the way to resolve conflict. I hope you can live with yourself!"

This is a false premise. If one examines the example from my own life, it would be hard to think of it as an example of violence. Violence is as much a state of mind than it is an action. Something escalates into violence. There was no escalation in my real life example; there was a calm example of behavior and consequence - an age-appropriate microcosm of real world behaviors and consequences. This why I think it is very important to not react with "discipline" but mete it out calmly and with deliberate timing.

One of the things that frustrate me is the government telling me how I can and cannot discipline my children. There is a line between discipline and abuse. Too many times, I fear, that the government and bleeding hearts that influence it force the parents of today to hate their children.

Obama, Will Ferrell, and Another Reason To Hate Hunting

2008-03-11T09:07:00.004-05:00

SPIRIT - Life is very difficult and confusing right now for me. It feels like I am ALWAYS at a crossroads. I honestly don't know what is going to happen with any facet of my life presently. These are the times when I thank God that I don't have to know. I can let go of the wheel and let God guide me to where I need to be. My best thinking has gotten me to this state of confusion so I understand that surrendering to a higher power is the best way to get me to where I need to be. I just so happen to be able to commune with the highest power. Praise God.

FAMILY - Oh boy, my little sister is in the hospital again and they want to put her in a nursing home. She is not happy about it. Every one in my family has car troubles and transportation now is at a premium. We (my wife and I) are down to one working vehicle. We'll get by.

LOVE - I continue to learn and practice stated learning about how to deal with my marriage. Lately, my wife has been struggling emotionally. It scares me, but now I have been just giving her space. She has told me that she doesn't want space during these times, but I guess I want it. I don't trust myself to say the right things. As thin as I am spread now, I REALLY don't trust myself.

ANGUISH - What is bothering me the most right now is illness. I just can't seem to get and stay healthy. I think it is a combination of being spread too thin, being around little kids that I tutor, and not getting enough rest. Now, on top of this horrible cold that I have, I also sport a conglomeration of cold sores on my upper lip. It is the worst thing. Everywhere I go, I feel like that Tide commercial for the stain remover where the guy is in a job interview, but the stain on his shirt keeps attracting the interviewers attention by shouting nonsense words while the poor guy is trying to answer the interview questions. With me, it is the cold sores that draw the attention of everyone around me like ham sandwich attracts a dog's. Either I have the worst colds on the planet, or I am the biggest baby when it comes to colds. I don't really care which it is, the fact remains that I really suffer through these things.

SPORTS - It is championship week for college basketball. The tournament brackets come out Sunday and I am usually in the middle of several pools. I normally run my own, so if anyone wants to fill out a bracket, let me know. It is hard to be too excited for my Indiana team, though. They haven't done very well since losing their cheater of a coach. I think they are probably one win and done this year, which is a shame since they have all the ingredients to make a strong run.

HOME - The drama of the week around the homestead has to be with my retriever Marley. A while back, I told you about his problem with his hip and back. You should read about it here to get the full effect of this bit of drama. Ninety-nine percent of you are skipping the link and continuing so I guess that is your loss. Anyway, we took him to our new vet (the one my wife now works for) to see what he thought about it. He cleaned out some infected scar tissue and had an x-ray done. The x-ray should have been done last year by former vet because it had an interesting story to tell. My poor dog, Marley, has an arrow head in his back. It is one of those nasty hunter's tips that expand inside its target. It barely missed his spinal cord but is still causing problems. Someone must have shot him from a deer stand when he was just a little pup. The bones have now grown around the arrow head and it will nearly be impossible to get out. The vet has referred him to another vet in another town that is more of an expert on this type of back thing. This will be very expensive so we can kiss Jamaica goodbye.

You know, I really hate hunting and the whole hunting mentality. How someone can get enjoyment out of killing beautiful animals is beyond my ability to understand. It is also pretty scary. I mean, if someone can guiltlessy slaughter a beautiful and graceful deer, how far is that removed from blowing away an ugly and offending human? Now I have a great dog that has been suffering needlessly for years because someone with no sense was, and probably still is, weilding a weapon. It sickens me.

The Time of my Wife

2008-03-05T09:30:00.005-06:00

It has been said here and elsewhere that my wife is immature and has other unflattering attributes that prevent her from having a healthy relationship with me. Because of my influence, i.e. my point of view, all evidence presented here would back up those assertions. There is some truth to these, I wistfully admit. However, there is another side of her. I think it is only fair to present this side.

A couple of months ago, we were in dire need of a new vacuum cleaner. Having five dogs will re-arrange one's priorities in this manner. We ended up shelling out major bucks for a Dyson (I whole-heartedly endorse this product, by the way). As a result, she made me agree to not do anything for Valentine's Day - in the line of gifts. None for me. None for her. Just cards.

Monday, February 11 - I find this note with an artificial sunflower (my favorite flower):

Happy Valentine's Week

Day 1

These are a few of your favorite things . . .

When I think of you, I think of sunflowers!

Love you,

Your Wife

Tuesday, February 12 - I find this note with a small horseshoe. I LOVE horses and horse racing. I am not all about the betting aspect, just a love for horses and watching them run:

Happy Valentine's Week

Day 2

These are a few of your favorite things . . .

When I think of you, I think of your love of horses!

(This is an aluminum race plate worn on a winning thoroughbred at Oaklawn Park in

Hot Springs, Arkansas. It still has racetrack dirt in it - that has to be lucky!)

Love you,

Your Wife

Wednesday, February 13 - I find this note with a folded t-shirt. On it was "Jamaica" nicely stitched on the front:

Happy Valentine's Day

Day 3

These are a few of your favorite things . . .

When I think of you, I think of t-shirts. Just kidding!

I think of our honeymoon in Yeah-Mon Land (Sigh. . .)

Love you,

Your Wife

Finally, on Valentine's Day she showered me with sugar free candy (respecting my diet and knowing that I like it). She even found sugar-free peeps! I LOVE peeps. She gave me a wonderful card and framed, old-fashioned, artistic print of the Island of Jamaica.

She didn't give me just a token, obligatory card. She put effort into it and made me feel that I was worth the trouble.

When I thought about doing this post, I thought that the Valentine's story would be it. However, earlier this week, my wife choked me up again. Monday night I got home late. I was bustled because I had to rush from my main job to a secondary job teaching a class on SAT preparation. After I was finished, I called my wife and asked her if I could bring something home for her. See, I am always mindful that my wife may feel that I am neglecting her because I am always busy. Sometimes I feel that she doesn't understand all the things I do nor understand all the reasons that I do them.

I stopped and brought home a bite to serve as a late supper for us. After eating, I had to run some errands (picking up prescriptions, check on my mother, etc. and take out my mother's trash (trash night for her and me on Mondays). Of course, I got home late and exhausted. My wife was already in bed, but left me a note. It literally choked me up:

"Dearest Jeff,

I want you to know that I REALLY, appreciate all the many things you do each and every day. You are a great son, teacher, helper, and of course, husband. I don't know what I (or anyone else!) would do without you. Thanks for being who you are. You're good at it!

Love you and goodnight,

Your Wife"

I don't know if any of you will really get what I got out of that, but you don't have to. It worked for me and it was the best thing I could have found that night. Oh, how I wanted to wake her up and let her know. . . but I let her sleep.

As I was getting ready to send this, I received a text message from her that only said, "Love you".

Enough said.

Obama, American Idol, and Indiana Basketball

2008-02-29T09:02:00.005-06:00

NEWS - Last week, I mentioned that Barack Obama fits the description of the antichrist. It is not that I think that he is, he just fits the description. This week it is getting even more frightening. Saturday Night Live on NBC had a debate skit that kicked off the show. It was humorus, but the main point was that the media is giving Obama a pass on everything and actually is a little giddy concerning Obama's candidacy. The debate skit started with the moderator asking the first question to Obama, "Senator Obama, can I get you anything? Really, it is no problem at all?" Funny, but it makes the point. Prophesies have the antichrist with this kind of unrealistic adoration.

"Saturday Night Live", you may say, "is just a comedy show on TV. You can't judge stuff like that from a comedy show." Fair point, but try these on for size:

Obama made a trip to Africa and for whatever reason, put on African-Muslim dress. A picture surfaces and somehow it was unfair to share this picture with the masses? WHY? HE WORE THE OUTFIT! It is a true picture. Yet, many pundits are talking how it is an unfair campaign tactic to show this photo.

Wait, it gets better. A right wing whacko in Cincinnati, kept referring to Obama as "Barack Hussein Obama." The pundits, again, calling it a cheap shot and even John McCain was distancing himself from it. Guess what? IT IS HIS NAME? Now that whacko said all kinds of negative things about Obama. Some I believe crossed the line. However, it is a cheap shot to utter his full name? IT IS HIS NAME! Unbelievable.

I talked to my wife about this today and she, as ardent drinker of the Obama Kool-Aid, thought it was a cheap shot, too. This kind of devout and unscrutinizing following, to the point of painting anyone who uses truth to shape the minds of voters, is in my opinion, the stuff of which antichrists are made.

Do I think that people shouldn't vote for him because of all this? Of course I don't think that; I may vote for him myself. If he is the antichrist, it doesn't matter who you vote for because he is coming into power regardless. If he isn't, he just may be a good president. If you do vote for him, just remember not to drink the Kool-Aid.

ENTERTAINMENT - American Idol is in full swing. I haven't watched it as closely as I have in the past, but I am aware of some controversy. There are a few contestants who have had record deals in the past. Many people think that isn't fair to the "diamonds in the rough" out there who haven't had that kind of advantage. Others don't care. Color me in the middle.

My biggest concern is that record companies can use American Idol as a publicity tool for their clients. It is a rule that a contestant can't have a CURRENT record deal, but that can easily be side-stepped. For instance, you can have a contract with someone who can have contracts with record labels - that kind of thing. I think it is best for the integrity of the show to just avoid this type of thing altogehter. It may come back to bite. That being stated, I think people should vote for whoever they like, former professionals or not. I don't vote, myself, because I think voting is kind of high school. But, that is just me.

WORK - Not much to report, really. No drama. That's good, because I have already written a book today.

SPIRIT - I have been thinking a lot about the concept of forgiveness these days. It has been said that unforgiveness is like taking poison and expecting the target of your anguish to die from it. I believe that is true. I see no benefit for unforgiveness, none. Unforgiveness is merely a form of justified hatred. I think there is too much of that in the world, already, without rationalizing why I have a right to hate. It is like having a right to cancer. I willingly give up that right.

FAMILY - The family chores are piling up. My good sister (the one that helps me out the most with my other, disabled family members) is off on an extended trip. She has been gone since mid January and will not be back until sometime in April. I think it is great that she can take these trips, but somehow it seems that I am paying for them.

LOVE - Lately, my wife has been catching a lot of flack from Psychosomatic Wit readers. It is my fault, though, because turmoil inspires my rantings more than peace. However, she isn't getting a fair deal. Everything I write about our marriage is true, but it takes two to succeed in marriage. It also takes two to fail. I am not perfect and I want to go on the record to say that if I had taken a different approach to some issues, things probably would have worked out better. That is what I have been trying to do. Soon, I will relay a story about her that will give her some props. Stay tuned.

ANXIETY - I am trying out the pet peeve aspect of this device today. It doesn't cause me anguish, but I am sickened by the term "doctor" being shoved in my face by every Tom, Dick, or Harriet that happens to earn a Ph.D. in some area. I'm sorry, but unless you can take out my appendix, you aren't a doctor. You are just some schmoe who has a Ph.D., either earned or given. Get off of the title. It is self-serving and unbecoming.

For example, if I hear "Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr" one more time, I am going to throw up. King was a great and brave man. However, it was faith and his conviction unto action that made him great, not his theology degree. From all accounts, King was a humble man. I would doubt that he encouraged others to address him as such. Perhaps he did, I don't know. I do know that if/when I get my Ph.D., I will not tolerate being addressed this way. Or, I may just tell the person to stick out his tongue and say "Ahh". Don't worry, I won't go as far as to tell him to turn his head and cough.

SPORTS - My beloved alma mater, Indiana University has finally got rid of their cheating coach. Although Bob Knight is avoiding any conversation about it, he is a long-shot in returning to the program. I do have a list of coaches that may fit the bill, though:

CAUTION - THIS SECTION CONTAINS COLLEGE BASKETBALL-SPEAK. If you aren't versed in college basketball, you may not get it.

In no particular order:

Bruce Pearl - I don't know if he would leave the Univerisity of Tennessee, but he really liked coaching in Indiana (USI). He even wanted the Evansville job when Jim Crews left, but UE went with Steve Merfeld instead (the idiots).

Steve Alford - He didn't have a great reputation at Iowa, but hey, that's Iowa - a wrestling school. He had a respectable record there, and was outstanding at Manchester and SWMS previously. It would be difficult, however, for him to leave after a year in Albuerque, I suspect. He did want the IU job when they gave it to Sampson (the idiots).

Brad Brownell - an in state guy and a good compromise between a Knight guy and an outsider.

Chris Lowery - He has done a fantastic job at Southern Illinois and learned under Bruce Weber at Illinois and SIU. Plus, he is an Indiana boy.

Dan Dakich, the present interim coach - They brought him in for a reason in November. He was okay at Bowling Green, but ran Knight's teams before leaving for BG. He is a player's coach with a touch of Knight's discipline.

HOME - My wife and I have been talking about the possibility of going back to Jamaica for our second anniversary this fall. This October, it will be two years since my wife and I exchanged vows next to the beach in paradise. Like the swallows to Capistrano, we are driven to return there - to the scene of the crime, if you will. Of course, it is longshot because of finances.

I, personally, think it would benefit our marriage so much that it would be worth it if was, at all, possible. It is my belief that it would give us a renewing in such a way that we could start all over building our marriage from the ground up. We both had some conflicting thoughts about marriage then. We both thought that it could be the normal "cold feet". We found out later that it wasn't. A trip back to Jamaica to "do it right" so to speak, seems magical. Yet, it is such a long shot (sigh).

Love Lessons Learned

2008-02-26T09:03:00.005-06:00

The last couple of days have been challenging on the home front. However, only I know how challenging they have been. That is a big lesson in of itself.

My wife and I have been both struggling with emotions lately. She has because . . . that is just part of her make-up. I have because I have been exhausted. It got the better of me on Friday night.

We went out, did some things, ended up at Barnes and Noble to glance over books and get a cafe drink. She found some interesting board games on clearance. Big mistake. I asked her if we got them, would she be willing to go and play them with my nephew and his wife?

She replied, "No."

To make a long story short, I got a little miffed because she is unwilling to be around my FAMILY to play games that SHE is interested in. There is nothing wrong with my nephew and wife. She just doesn't like them or something. She didn't like that I couldn't accept it very easily.

Then, she got wise. She threw my words back in my face. She set it up by saying, "You knew that I wasn't a social person when you married me. " Her following phrase came from my own book, "Your expectations of me as your spouse is your own worst enemy. People will always fail your expectations so don't put so much stock in them."

Here comes the lesson again, "Just keep your mouth shut." Ten thousand responses came into my head just dying to get out. From, "yeah, I guess it is unreasonable to expect you to interact with my family that is now YOUR family" to "well, I guess your expectations of me being faithful are your own worst enemy if I should stray," and a thousand hateful others burst into my head like the finale at a Fourth of July fireworks display.

Somehow, I just kept my mouth shut. Tragedy avoided.

Fast forward to last night. As many of you know, "Big Brother" is one of my guilty pleasures. I don't have many. We started recording the live feed on Showtime last season just to keep track of stuff and all the drama. No problem.

Last night, my wife informed me that we were not going to record or watch that anymore because the previous night's feed was "pornographic." So, she deleted it and will not record it anymore. Silently, I was infuriated. In all of last year and the first two weeks of this year there was no pornography. If there was a lapse the previous night (which I was skeptical), I was not going to pass judgement over one night. Plus, my wife thinks that the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is pornography (I don't, but I still haven't seen that issue since college for whatever reason).

I take issue with my wife's scensorship of my viewing for the following reasons:

A. She is not my mother (this could be broken up into several reasons really); and

B. I pay for the satelite

I handled the situation much like the Barnes and Noble incident, I kept my mouth shut. I wasn't going to be put into the position of defending "pornography". Besides, emotions have been running high anyway. She NEVER knew that I was miffed and the marriage avoided a hit. As an aside, I recorded the thing anyway and skimmed through it this morning. Guess what? No pornography.

Finally, yesterday my wife's boss called her and told her that one of the girls couldn't make it in and may not make it tomorrow (today) so she should be ready to be called in. She wasn't called last night and she stayed up late (and kept me up). The girl called her this morning and she hit the roof (with me, not the girl)! I didn't think she was going to go in and I got a little uptight. My wife only works part time. We have no kids, and I have taken a couple of extra jobs to make ends meet. She was warned that she may have to come in and somehow she thinks it is unfair. It was very difficult for me to sympathize and it was all I could do to not throw water on her in bed!

I left her in bed as I went to check on my mom. When I got back she was up and was getting ready but she was upset and believed she had been victimized. How did I handle it?

I gave her hug, made her some Irish Breakfast Tea, packed her lunch and left her a note inside it telling her that I loved her and was proud of her for facing the day. Lesson? You get more results from reward and encouragement than from berating. She went to work; that was enough for me today.

One big lesson in marriage, I have learned, is that you have to pick your battles. She went to work. Had she not have gone, I would be gearing up for war.

NEWS FLASH - Third Week of February '08

2008-02-20T09:35:00.004-06:00

The Word of the week is "Antichrist".

NEWS - It is looking like the race for the White House is all but sewn up for the primary season. John McCain continues to mount his delegates over many conservatives' (including the loudmouths such as Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter) lamentations. I have to admire Mike Huckabee's spunk, by the way, because he is staying in the race despite party pressure to back out. Huckabee, on MSNBC this morning, denounced the party's pressure to resign citing that the GOP "used to be the party that welcomed competition". He is concerned that it is losing its way.

On the Democrat front, Barrack Obama continues to roll through the primaries. If Hillary Clinton does not win Texas and Ohio, and win them big, she will be more done than a floating hushpuppy. Then, and only then, will Obama get the scrutiny from the media that is probably overdue in a fair fight.

Obama's popularity is both predictable and astounding. He is fresh and he sings a pretty tune. Perhaps he has the skills and chops to back up his performances;, we can only hope. Hopefully, he isn't the antichrist. Before you scoff TOO MUCH, keep in mind that the antichrist is supposed to be a young, charasmatic leader that will come out of nowhere, and win over the hearts of minds of the masses. Obama IS that definition. Plus, he has ties to the Middle East and there are many questions about his belief system.

ENTERTAINMENT - Big Brother 9 is back and so far, I am not feeling it. It is partly my own fault, however - or let's just say it is the fault of the local CBS station here. There was a technical problem because of our recent ice storm that knocked it off the air. Only local cable companies were able to carry programming. I have DirecTV and it wasn't happening there. So, I Tivo'd hours of "technical difficulty" screens instead of the premier of Big Brother 9. In trying to catch up, it seems there isn't enough diversity this year. All the cast members are relatively young and single. All of a strong command of the "F" word and thrive on petty drama. It is like watching a college dorm. Maybe it will get better. At least that antichrist, Evel Dick, isn't on the show this year.

WORK - I'm exhausted. My big event was cancelled because of the ice storm so I have to start all over and reschedule. My other job things are taking up a lot of my other time, thus the blog is indeed, suffering. No antichrist citing here; it would be more contrived than the one above.

SPIRIT - I bet you think this will have something to do with the antichrist, don't you? Well, nope. This is really about love. I wrote in my other blog a GREAT love story dealing with Valentine's Day that would behove you to read if you want to feel warm or need a little cry. You can find it here.

FAMILY - The wife is turning on the pressure to start a family. I like to be better prepared than to just launch into something like that. Because I want to wait to make sure that the MARRIAGE IS ACTUALLY HEALTHY and also wanting an adequate financial base, I am all of the sudden the antichrist! I guess I can live with that.

LOVE - Oddly enough, the motivation for wanting to start a family is making my wife be on her best behavior. Things seem to be a little better and she is no longer acting like the antichrist. I hope it is sincere. Only time will tell and I am one careful man.

ANXIETY - Money, fatigue, and pressure to start a family is really getting to me.

SPORTS - The Kelvin Sampson show at Indiana University is coming to a close. Amid NCAA investigations, IU nation has low tolerance for cheaters. Quite coincidentally, if you believe in coincidences, Bob Knight resigns at Texas Tech two days before this NCAA charges come against Sampson. Now the elephant in the room is could Bob Knight return to Indiana? A lot of folks, and I am one of them, would LOVE to see Knight back. It makes sense for the university because they may have a more favorable position with NCAA if they sack Sampson in favor of a coach who above reproach when coming to cheating and encouraging players to graduate. Some people may consider Knight as the antichrist, but there is no quarrel with this aspect of his resume'. Still, it is a long shot for the return of Mr. Indiana Basketball. I like longshots.

HOME - It should be only a matter of months now before I can officially sell the house. So far so good. That will help my finances and please my wife. How it all works out is in God's hands. The money, the marriage and subsequent babies. I have turned it all over to him. Right now, He likes my patience.

Grading the Psychic

2008-02-08T08:53:00.000-06:00

I thought I owed the people that read my blog a rundown of last year's predictions of 2007. Although I have no wish to try to predict 2008, I think there should be some closure for last year. At the end of each prediction, I will rate the accuracy of it. With "1" being nothing of the kind, and "10" being spot on.

#1 President Bush's popularity numbers will go up in the next few months, but bottom out again towards the end of the year.
Rating of 8 The surge of troops and a correlating more (although barely) peaceful Iraq did take some stress off of Bush. However, by the time the end of the year rolled around, people had so much Bush/War/Gas Price fatigue that most are glad to see the man go. This probably helps to explain why there are record numbers of Democrats voting in the primaries this year.

#2 Some celebrity that we would not think had the moral credentials to guide kids will write a children's book.
Rating of 5 Okay, I missed this a bit, but not a total zero. Here's why: Lynn Spears, mother of Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears, wrote a book about raising child stars. Because of the family's messes, the book was delayed for release. If Britney's troubles weren't enough, right after the announcement of the book, perfect child Jamie Lynn comes up pregnant at 16. If you desire, here is the People Magazine's online blurb from December 2007 titled, "Lynne Spears's Parenting Book 'Delayed Indefinitely'."

#3 A celebrity will convert to Christianity and will talk too much about it.
Rating of 2 I can't say I heard of anyone, really, but this little piece at least takes me out of the "1" rating category. ;) Mitt Romney Converts to Christianity

#4 A female celebrity will die and it will be drug/alcohol related.
Rating of 10. A year ago, today, Anna Nicole Smith is found dead as a result of an accidental prescription drug overdose, not unlike Heath Ledger who I had the pleasure of NOT predicting this year.

#5 The San Diego Chargers will beat the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl.
Rating of 1 I was already making excuses for this prediction last year. This wasn't a psychic prediction, just the fan in me trying to analyze the season. I am a better psychic than a football analyst, I guess.

#6 Someone who reads this blog will make a life-changing decision and it will work out great for him/her.
NOT RATED Only you guys can answer this one. If no one has anything to report, there is always a chance that someone who was reading my blog last year, but not anymore, may have fulfilled this prophesy. For instance, Javajabber, last year claimed this prediction by saying that he/she quit smoking. However, that blog has been deleted so who knows what happened.

#7 There will be a surge in video game playing among baby boomers - and there will surface one particular game that will usher these people in.
Rating of 8 The Wii game system is so hugely popular that they are still nearly impossible to go buy - and they have been on the market since Christmas season of 2006. My middle aged friends have talked about how they have tournaments and keep inviting me over to play various games (which I have found no time to do). Someone else, (Meg, I think) reported that they are even using the Wii in rehab facilities. The draw to older gamers is that there isn't 10,000 buttons and triggers needed to operate the game, just the motion of your arms, etc.

#8 This summer will be one of the hottest ever in the midwest.
Rating of 10 The best blogger on the net even commented about it here!

#9 There will be a new pest related problem (insect, etc.) that will either threaten people's health or damage major agricultural production.
Rating of 6 I wasn't too informed about this, but my blogging crush, Steph, shared this little tidbit with me: 'there are these new "oak mites" ' in the suburbs of Chicago that have been burrowing into people's skin and causing trips to the ER because of extreme discomfort. So, I think that could qualify as a 'health threat' by a new insect. "

#10 A high school kid will make the ultimate sacrifice to save the lives of a number of people and will be proclaimed a hero.
Rating of 8 Do you remember the tornadoes that hit Enterprise, AL back in March? There was a story about a kid named Andrew Jackson that saved the life of another student but perished in the effort. Read about it here.

#11 Something will happen that will put Omaha, Nebraska on the news for a number of days.
Rating of 10 This was the clincher prediction. This sealed the fate of me predicting stuff in the future. It left me rather ill and caused me to "hang up my crystal ball". Here is the story.

#12 The Boston Red Sox will win the World Series.
Rating of 10. The Sox smoked the Colorado Rockies in four straight games.

#13. There will be horrendous killing somewhere in the US that will inspire at least one copy-cat killing.
Rating of 7. This actually could be rated higher. I think I remember a killing in California (I think it was CA), a couple of days after Omaha that put me in the mind of Omaha. I didn't try to stay on top of this, though, because I was sick about the Omaha thing and just didn't want to be reminded of my prophetic "part" in it. There was also something I remember after the Virginia Tech thing in New York. I just don't remember.

Overall, my rating was just over 7 (closer to 8 if you throw out the unpsychic prediction of last year's Superbowl) which is pretty scary on a 1-10 scale rating. Of course, my rating system is totally subjunctive, so feel free to scale it down (or up for that matter). Do you think this was accurate or no?

Ahh, closure!

NEWS FLASH - Last Week of January '08

2008-01-31T09:15:00.000-06:00

NEWS: The candidates in both parties' primaries are whittling down. On the Democratic side, there is just Clinton and Obama left. I think this will go down to the wire. If I were to make a prediction, I would say it will be Clinton at the convention. On the Republican side, there are still, technically, four candidates. It looks like just two have a chance, though; they are McCain and Romney. Huckabee is a very long shot at this point, but politics can change with the wind.

Experts say that the longer Huckabee is in, the better off McCain is because Huckabee and Romney are competing for the same votes. These so-called experts think political philosophy is the driving force with the voters in the Republican party. Romney and Huckabee are both more conservative than McCain, so the conservative vote is split therefore giving an advantage to McCain (because his support isn't split).

However, with my political science degree firmly in my hand, I disagree with the experts. I say that Huckabee takes away McCain supporters instead. Here is why: Huckabee's base is evangelical and fundemental Christians. These types believe that Romney belongs to a cult (the Mormon church). This religious belief trumps any political ideology loyalty for this group of people. Conservative Christians are mormophobes. Therefore, if Huckabee drops out, the support will swell for McCain, not Romney because Huckabee supporters will not back a Mormon. This is just my theory. Stay tuned to see if the TV experts or yours truly has a better grip on this election.

ENTERTAINMENT: I am anxiously waiting for the new 3-D U2 movie to hit my local Imax. A friend of mine saw it in Indianapolis and said it was unbelievable. U2 is timeless and I really miss 3-D movies anyway!

WORK: Busy. My intern believes when there is turbulence in the personal life, all other things are allowed to come to a grinding halt. She will learn or become part of the homeless masses.

SPIRIT: Had an argument with a close friend about God and evangelism. He has had a major life transformation so he is inclined to believe any other path (other than his specific one) may not lead to God. He wouldn't admit it as I worded it, but that is what he is arguing. I believe all true paths go through Christ (so does he), however, I believe there are many paths that will get you there. Christ is the key, though.

FAMILY: One sister is in the hospital. One is stranded by car trouble. My wife is . . . my wife. The comments on my last blog post made me realize more that there is no one there to care for me. My wife doesn't. Twice this week, I observed that if I want to do something that doesn't interest her, I do it alone or don't do it. However, when she is interested in something - even if I am not that much, I do it with her. I believe that is what a husband does. My gosh, marriage sure can be a lonely proposition.

LOVE: I think the girl in the local Grandy's has a crush on me. Today, she asked me if I am having "the usual". I didn't realize anyone paid attention to what I ordered. Then, she went back and made my stuff fresh and added cheese to my eggs. Then she apologized for my wait (which wasn't really outside of the ordinary) and gave me my meal for half price. I guess someone is looking out for me afterall. LOL

ANXIETY: I am tutoring a kindergartner that will not concentrate AT ALL. His twin sister can, but he can't or won't. When I work with letter flashcards, instead of thinking about the card, he just rambles off random letters. I try to work with him on just the concentration but he just doesn't get it. I really want him to succeed. Any suggestions?

SPORTS: Superbowl this week. I am hoping for the upset NY Giants over the Patriots. However, that isn't likely. Maybe the commercials will be good!

HOME: I have lost 17 pounds in the last three weeks. The low-carb diet is doing me justice. Anyone want to join me with the low carb? I am inventing and discovering some killer recipes!

A Day in the Life

2008-01-24T09:08:00.000-06:00

It once again appears that I am a slacker. I haven't blogged in a while, but it isn't because I am spending my time watching TV or playing video games. Nope, this is the busiest time of the year for me at work. In addition to my regular duties, January through March adds a billion more tasks. These boring but necessary duties include making arrangements for a big annual event to educate the public, the annual report, the coming fiscal year's budget preparation, and guiding the internship towards its big project and other parent-like internship responsibilites.

So, at the end of the day, I like to go just go home, let my wife wait on me, watch TV or a movie and turn in early. That is what I LIKE to do, but I never get to do it. In fact, I don't even know what that is like. Here is what a typical day looks like for me:

Up at 6:00 am to feed the dogs and let them outside and bring them back in. That sounds simple enough, but it isn't. I have FIVE dogs and they all believe they are the only one when it comes to feeding. So, I have to feed these gluttons in a manner that keeps them quiet so not to wake up my wife. This is nearly impossible, but somehow I manage it or come close to it. Getting them out and back in only works quickly if the dogs are on the same page as I am. Unfortunately, the dogs don't read.

Somewhere around 6:20, I take a quick shower and get ready for work so I can clear out of my wife's way when she gets up at 6:40. While my wife gets ready, I review my day's activity making sure that I am as prepared as possible.

My wife and I leave at the same time. She goes to work (on days that she works, otherwise she is asleep when I leave) while I go to my mother's to give her medicine and make sure she has breakfast. (My mom is disabled).

I arrive at work at 8:00. I won't bore you with the work stuff; besides I already did that some in the first paragraph.

At lunch, I go home to let the dogs out and back in, go back to my mother's to make sure she has lunch, and try to feed myself along the way.

In the afternoon, I take time to tutor some at-risk elementary school kids, thus, making me stay at work late.

When I get off work, I go home and greet my wife, and confirm any plans we have. Then, I go back to my mother's to make sure she has dinner and do little chores for her. Then back home usually stopping at the market or food joint to get dinner for my wife and myself and try to spend some time with her. Often, I either have to go visit a sister in the hospital (like tonight), or tutor some high school kids to help prep them for their SAT's. I squeeze that stuff in as early as possible.

Around 9:30 or 10:oo, my wife goes to bed and I lie there with her for a short time for a little quality time. Then, back to my mother's to make sure she has her nightly medications and address any other issue she has at bed time.

Then, I return home to prep for the following days work or tutoring and make sure I don't have clothes issues in the morning. I get to bed sometime around midnight.

About half the nights, I am woken by my wife because of my snoring. Therefore, I eventually make it to the couch where I have to fight dog whining and other canine noises until it is time to start the day over again.

That is my daily routine in a nutshell. I would like to workout again or get some kind of exercise, but I would have to get up an hour earlier to do it. Right now, I don't know if I can handle that, but I am sure when it warms up outside, I will manage to do it.

Conclusion: Until my work and/or tutoring schedule lightens, my blogging will be more sparse. The readers of my blog can always turn to another blog to fill the gap (assuming my blog leaves one for some of you), however I have to do without the thereapeutic value of it more often for a while.