Depression and the Holidays

Depression again has raised its ugly head on this blog. There is a ton of reasons for the timeliness of it. Among these reasons are the holidays, my personal experiences and the fact that it is an issue that just doesn’t go away. I introduced a post about the selfishness of depression in 2007. It is the most searched post on my blog and still garners comments and discussion today – although it was written over three and half years ago.

The holiday season is tough on a lot of people. I used to be a person that was baffled to hear about all the depression around Christmas. “Really? You can’t find something to be happy about with the giving, the carols, and all that Yule-tide jazz? Sheesh, even the cursed snow that causes traffic accidents and wet floors is celebrated around this time of year!”

Now, I am one of those people. Ever since my divorce in 2008, Christmas has been tough on me. Christmas lends itself to family and tradition. A broken marriage and loneliness in the wake of “fa la la la la” is a horse pill. It is that stinging loneliness, too, the kind you feel in the midst of a crowd. Then when you finally think you’re over the Christmas family stuff and the New Years non-kiss fall out, “BOOM,” Valentines Day hits just to trash what is left of your gut. Yeah, I get it now. As I mentioned in my last post, I now have a girlfriend , but it looks as though it won’t change any of these latest holiday practices and feelings for me.

Next time, I will update the original post and subsequent discussion. Depression affects a lot of people and unlike small pox, it will never go away. All we can really do is talk about it let those that are affected and the people around them know that they aren’t alone – even if it feels like it.

The More Things Change; The More They Stay the Same

Wow! I can't believe that I hadn't blogged since Tax Day in the USA. I apologize. It has been so long, I feel like I have to test the equipment. (**Blow, Blow**) Is this thing on?

I think that I may be able to get back into blogging - or at least improving the every 8 months thing I got going now. My internet situation has changed for the better. That was the big thing.

I will refrain from going into the NEWS FLASH right off the bat. However, I will touch on at least a little that has been going on. Per my previous post, Andrea and I are still "together". I quote together, because we seldom are. Logistics are hell. It is more complicated than anyone can imagine. And to protect her privacy, I will not go into detail about it. Let's just say it is difficult. I do want to squelch the idea that there is anything inappropriate going on with the logistics - just so your imagination doesn't run away with you.

Anyway, we are working on improving the logistics (I know that I am using the word "logistics" way too much, but let's see you find a synonym for it). Sometimes it seems hopeless and that is the hard part. I have to admit that the approaching holidays doesn't make it easier to bear. For those of you that haven't kept up with this blog, or care to just look back, the holidays have been particularly tough on me since my divorce over two years ago. Facing this season may be as tough because everything I have been dreaming and hoping for is right there in my life - just not in my reach. Even harder is the thought that I don't believe it HAS to be that way. However, she does for now. I have to accept that. It is her logistics, not mine and that makes her more of an expert on them. Still, it is tough.

To the naked eye, it is impossible to see signs of hope. So, with that, please excuse me while I play Sherlock Holmes and grab my magnifying glass and look for signs of logistics improvement.