My main computer blew up in an afternoon storm. I don't think it is repairable. Therefore, I am not sure when I will be able to blog, answer feedback or email. I do know I will have a new computer some time next week, but until then, I don't know. I will try to do what I can, but I am not optimistic.
Stay tuned.
NEWS FLASH #4
NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Work (thoughts on the job or employer)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality tv, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________________
NEWS - There is someone new every week it seems in the race for the White House. New York mayor Michael Bloomberg is setting himself up for an independent candidacy. He used to be a Democrat. Then, when it looked like it would be easier to win the mayor's office as a Republican, he shifted. Since both parties have a huge field of candidates, he could be the only REAL contender that is nonpartisan. I can get over the flip-flop part. I just don't know what he stands for yet, other than he does know how to make a buck. He is an innovator - might be just what the country needs. Without a party, though, he will be a longshot to win - if he decides to give it a go.
ENTERTAINMENT - I really want the movie "Evan Almighty" to be good. I haven't seen it yet. There is mixed reviews so far. I think Steve Carell is brilliant in "The Office". I really enjoy his work. It is also getting touted in some family/Christian oriented organizations which I hope means that Hollywood doesn't have to be dirty or tacky to make a buck. I get tired of sifting through filth to get to the quality storylines and acting when enjoying a movie.
WORK - Work is work. I am fortunate that it is kind of a down time there, because if I was very busy, I would be struggling. I always have my personal problems in the summer. Hate it.
SPIRIT - God is really filling a void. Not only does He coordinate traffic lights, but He always manages to provide needs for me when I am incapable of providing them myself. A friend of mine just gave me his jeep ("pay me on it whenever, or don't at all - I don't care"). This was kind of out of the blue although my friend and I are both close to God in the same way. One of our cars is totaled from a wreck. We literally have to duct tape it before we take it any distance. I never mentioned to my buddy that I was even thinking about another car. He said that God put it on his heart so he got himself a new Jeep and didn't care about getting anything out of his old one (which is still a pretty nice vehicle). God is good; accept no substitutes.
FAMILY - My wife is back home. There are issues that we have to work on still. She is concerned about her brother who just joined the National Guard. I don't blame her.
LOVE - Still don't have a girlfriend (just kidding). The Mrs. has been doing little things that show love. I struggle with her motives, though. She is doing things that she can't do if she was at work all day. Hmm . . .
ANXIETY - The number one thing is what I just alluded to. I don't want to worry about finances. I wouldn't have to if my wife returns to her job. Stay tuned.
SPORTS - My Cincinnati Reds have the worst record in the National League. Baseball season lasts for six months. It is a grueling six months when your team sucks.
HOME - Before my little marriage meltdown, we were looking for a house to raise a family in. Now, with the way things are, we surely can't have kids and can't afford a new home. However, I still have my health.
"THE PRESENT TRUTH" HAS BEEN UPDATED
Some of you have been checking my other blog so I thought I would let anyone with half an interst know.
Playing Tag
I have been tagged by Loz from "Midlife, A Journey" with a meme called "Into the Spotlight". The meme originated with Christy at "Christy’s Coffee Break" and the rules for the meme can be found here. There is a series of questions. You may choose to answer any or all. This is the tag I was looking for in a previous post. Thanks Loz, for thinking of me. Hopefully, you will get a chuckle out of it.
When did you start blogging?
When I was about 12 years old, I found a paperback book that evidently belonged to my 19-year-old brother. This book described in detail a lonely woman’s life and what she did to ease her lonliness. It made Jeff, the adolescent, feel . . . well . . . a little funny - and he experienced emotions and drives he never felt before. Well, one thing led to another and . . .
Funny thing is that I never heard it referred to as “blogging” before. Oh well, this wacky 21st Century with new names for this and that. What are you gonna do?
What do you hope to accomplish with your blog?
I hope to have kids some day.
What are your feelings on the "blog popularity" issue?
I don’t know. I am not really an orgy guy. As Seinfeld said, I don’t want wear the robes and get into all the oils and stuff.
What's your favorite childhood memory?
See first question.
If you were stranded on a deserted island, what three things would you want to have with you?
1. I would want to have a bottle opener. I have to be able read my mail, you know.
2. I would say a boat, but I probably would get pretty sick of the whole water recreation life being on an island and all, that I would get bored with it pretty quickly. So, with that in mind, maybe a pinball machine (solar powered – I’m not stupid).
3. I kind of would like to have a potted plant. No wait, there will probably be all kinds of plants there, so . . . WAIT! There wouldn’t be any pots. So yeah, a pot to put one of the plants in.
That’s it. I don’t want much, really
What is the weirdest thing that ever happened to you?
One time I was running late for an appointment. I thought that unless I make all the traffic lights “green”, I would be late. As it turned out, I made all the lights “green” (except for one), and I made the appointment on time. Can you believe it?
What is your best quality?
I can juggle. I learned how from this buddy in college who wanted me to start out juggling scarves. I didn’t like that so I just worked on juggling balls (they look like hacky sacks). I got to be pretty good at it, but never tried chainsaws.
What is your worst quality?
I tend to brag too much about being able to juggle. I go on and on about it. You guys are probably just sick of it by now.
____________________________________________________________________
The rules of this meme stated I could answer these questions anyway I wanted to. I chose quirky humor. I hope you “get it”. As far as tagging, nah. All of you are optionally tagged.
When did you start blogging?
When I was about 12 years old, I found a paperback book that evidently belonged to my 19-year-old brother. This book described in detail a lonely woman’s life and what she did to ease her lonliness. It made Jeff, the adolescent, feel . . . well . . . a little funny - and he experienced emotions and drives he never felt before. Well, one thing led to another and . . .
Funny thing is that I never heard it referred to as “blogging” before. Oh well, this wacky 21st Century with new names for this and that. What are you gonna do?
What do you hope to accomplish with your blog?
I hope to have kids some day.
What are your feelings on the "blog popularity" issue?
I don’t know. I am not really an orgy guy. As Seinfeld said, I don’t want wear the robes and get into all the oils and stuff.
What's your favorite childhood memory?
See first question.
If you were stranded on a deserted island, what three things would you want to have with you?
1. I would want to have a bottle opener. I have to be able read my mail, you know.
2. I would say a boat, but I probably would get pretty sick of the whole water recreation life being on an island and all, that I would get bored with it pretty quickly. So, with that in mind, maybe a pinball machine (solar powered – I’m not stupid).
3. I kind of would like to have a potted plant. No wait, there will probably be all kinds of plants there, so . . . WAIT! There wouldn’t be any pots. So yeah, a pot to put one of the plants in.
That’s it. I don’t want much, really
What is the weirdest thing that ever happened to you?
One time I was running late for an appointment. I thought that unless I make all the traffic lights “green”, I would be late. As it turned out, I made all the lights “green” (except for one), and I made the appointment on time. Can you believe it?
What is your best quality?
I can juggle. I learned how from this buddy in college who wanted me to start out juggling scarves. I didn’t like that so I just worked on juggling balls (they look like hacky sacks). I got to be pretty good at it, but never tried chainsaws.
What is your worst quality?
I tend to brag too much about being able to juggle. I go on and on about it. You guys are probably just sick of it by now.
____________________________________________________________________
The rules of this meme stated I could answer these questions anyway I wanted to. I chose quirky humor. I hope you “get it”. As far as tagging, nah. All of you are optionally tagged.
Maybe It Is Time
From time to time, most bloggers toy around with the idea of quitting. Life gets too hard, time problems, and internet stalking gives us pause about whether all this is worth it. I am no different. I am in the cross hairs of a gun that has the potential to shut this thing down - at least for a while.
As any of you who have read my blog in the last couple of months or so will attest, life hasn't been very kind to me lately. I climb each hill one by one and somehow keep on trucking with this little blog. I think it has been helpful to me and even some of you commented on how you get something out of it every once in while. That's great and it makes it a worthwhile endeavor.
Recently, I have noticed that I have gotten a little too fixated on the taxing things that are going on in my life. This effects me in a lot of ways. My blog can be interpreted as an invitation to a pity party. I truly don't want that. It can be just downright tiresome for people to read. I don't want that. However, more importantly, this whole exercise may have tainted my ability to perceive my own insensitivity. This, I can't tolerate.
I am a pretty sensitive guy. I have always found myself pretty much attuned to others' plights and have sincerely always wanted to be encouraging. On the inside, I think this who I am. On the outside, sometimes I am unable to discern what I am saying concerning how it may have an impact on other people.
I met with a friend at lunch today. I asked him for an opinion on how I should address an issue I have with someone in my life. I told him what I was thinking and he said, "I understand what you are saying and the logic behind it, but I don't think it is going to be received well. It surely will not have the desired effect that you are looking for." I was dumbfounded. My logic was flawless. Yet, that didnt' matter and finally the light bulb went off and I determined at that point that the recent stress in my life has had an adverse effect on my sensibilities.
It opened up my mind to a feedback exchange I had recently with another blogger. It wasn't testy, but I could tell that I wrote in the same such manner. At the time, I couldn't see what I was saying could be construed in any way other than what I meant. Now, I realize that I can't trust myself to know that. I may have hurt someone that I have truly come to care about. For that I am sorry. I tried to "fix" it and explain my intentions, but I guess it didn't take. What is worse is that I don't have the wisdom now to see whether or not I could have made things worse.
I have written all that to write this: It may not be in anyone's best interest for me to continue to blog and feedback until I get in a better place internally. I don't want to overreact, it is just something that I need to consider. The last thing I want to do is offend someone. It might be something as simple a concept as someone wanting to avoid getting pregnant. The only way to avoid it is to abstain. I will be mulling this over.
In the meantime, if I have been insensitive to anyone out there, I assure you it wasn't my intention. I am not making excuses, though. Words are too powerful to play with when impaired.
My first idea was to label this entry, "Thursday Thirteen - thirteen reasons I am giving up blogging." However, that would be a little insensitive. See what I mean?
As any of you who have read my blog in the last couple of months or so will attest, life hasn't been very kind to me lately. I climb each hill one by one and somehow keep on trucking with this little blog. I think it has been helpful to me and even some of you commented on how you get something out of it every once in while. That's great and it makes it a worthwhile endeavor.
Recently, I have noticed that I have gotten a little too fixated on the taxing things that are going on in my life. This effects me in a lot of ways. My blog can be interpreted as an invitation to a pity party. I truly don't want that. It can be just downright tiresome for people to read. I don't want that. However, more importantly, this whole exercise may have tainted my ability to perceive my own insensitivity. This, I can't tolerate.
I am a pretty sensitive guy. I have always found myself pretty much attuned to others' plights and have sincerely always wanted to be encouraging. On the inside, I think this who I am. On the outside, sometimes I am unable to discern what I am saying concerning how it may have an impact on other people.
I met with a friend at lunch today. I asked him for an opinion on how I should address an issue I have with someone in my life. I told him what I was thinking and he said, "I understand what you are saying and the logic behind it, but I don't think it is going to be received well. It surely will not have the desired effect that you are looking for." I was dumbfounded. My logic was flawless. Yet, that didnt' matter and finally the light bulb went off and I determined at that point that the recent stress in my life has had an adverse effect on my sensibilities.
It opened up my mind to a feedback exchange I had recently with another blogger. It wasn't testy, but I could tell that I wrote in the same such manner. At the time, I couldn't see what I was saying could be construed in any way other than what I meant. Now, I realize that I can't trust myself to know that. I may have hurt someone that I have truly come to care about. For that I am sorry. I tried to "fix" it and explain my intentions, but I guess it didn't take. What is worse is that I don't have the wisdom now to see whether or not I could have made things worse.
I have written all that to write this: It may not be in anyone's best interest for me to continue to blog and feedback until I get in a better place internally. I don't want to overreact, it is just something that I need to consider. The last thing I want to do is offend someone. It might be something as simple a concept as someone wanting to avoid getting pregnant. The only way to avoid it is to abstain. I will be mulling this over.
In the meantime, if I have been insensitive to anyone out there, I assure you it wasn't my intention. I am not making excuses, though. Words are too powerful to play with when impaired.
My first idea was to label this entry, "Thursday Thirteen - thirteen reasons I am giving up blogging." However, that would be a little insensitive. See what I mean?
Just So You Know
Some things are on my mind today. Sometimes I would give my left arm to not have anything on my mind. The mind is a terrible thing to face.
My wife was originally supposed to be back last week. However, a few cross words and some conflict concerning our philosophies of life later, and PRESTO!; she put it off another week. The week is up tomorrow and if I am not in court, I will be at the airport waiting to pick her up.
* * * *
Speaking of court, I find out in an hour if I have jury duty. I guess there is never a good time for jury duty, but tomorrow surely isn't it if there ever is. I have never been on jury duty and I just don't feel like trying something new.
* * * *
My wife thinks it is a good idea if she quits her job and sells on Ebay full-time. I, on the other hand, do not share that view. Money is somewhat tight and I just can't see her giving up her good, full-time, M-F 8:00-5:00 job that others in her situation would kill for, in order to TRY to make a full-time go of Ebay. Her job is just too stressful to keep and still work on the marriage. Too bad most marriages break up because of finances. She hasn't factored that into her little scheme. You know why? She doesn't want to.
* * * *
I HAVE GOT TO SELL THAT HOUSE!
* * * *
Someone came into my office today. He was pitiful, really. I knew right away that I couldn't help him, but I gave him my ear. He is four-time felon, not quite right in the head, and I couldn't really understand every word he said. He had that "meth-enunciation" thing going for him. He also had a bump on the top of his head that almost needed medical attention. Maybe he did get some earlier; the bleeding finally stopped. . He kept complaining that everyone gave him a hard time like he was less than human. He said that his friends were only his friends when he had a few dollars in his pocket.
We both agreed that his friends are probably not real friends. I dont' know if he was messed up today or if he had been messed up so many times that all was that was left of him was symptoms. I do know that he kept saying he wanted to get his life together. I pray that he can. We left it at us both agreeing that his doctor may give him some good perspective on things when he sees him tomorrow.
* * * *
Someone tagged me recently and I left feedback that I would get to it shortly. Only now I can't seem to find who tagged me and what the meme actually was. A little assistance, please.
* * * *
I want to thank Michelle from "Crow's Feet" for being my 5000th page load customer. To honor her, I will give her a whole post advertisement for her blog, unless she asks me not to. She isn't getting money, though, unless she can talk my wife into not quitting her job.
* * * *
That's it for today. Thanks for stopping by. Don't be strangers.
My wife was originally supposed to be back last week. However, a few cross words and some conflict concerning our philosophies of life later, and PRESTO!; she put it off another week. The week is up tomorrow and if I am not in court, I will be at the airport waiting to pick her up.
* * * *
Speaking of court, I find out in an hour if I have jury duty. I guess there is never a good time for jury duty, but tomorrow surely isn't it if there ever is. I have never been on jury duty and I just don't feel like trying something new.
* * * *
My wife thinks it is a good idea if she quits her job and sells on Ebay full-time. I, on the other hand, do not share that view. Money is somewhat tight and I just can't see her giving up her good, full-time, M-F 8:00-5:00 job that others in her situation would kill for, in order to TRY to make a full-time go of Ebay. Her job is just too stressful to keep and still work on the marriage. Too bad most marriages break up because of finances. She hasn't factored that into her little scheme. You know why? She doesn't want to.
* * * *
I HAVE GOT TO SELL THAT HOUSE!
* * * *
Someone came into my office today. He was pitiful, really. I knew right away that I couldn't help him, but I gave him my ear. He is four-time felon, not quite right in the head, and I couldn't really understand every word he said. He had that "meth-enunciation" thing going for him. He also had a bump on the top of his head that almost needed medical attention. Maybe he did get some earlier; the bleeding finally stopped. . He kept complaining that everyone gave him a hard time like he was less than human. He said that his friends were only his friends when he had a few dollars in his pocket.
We both agreed that his friends are probably not real friends. I dont' know if he was messed up today or if he had been messed up so many times that all was that was left of him was symptoms. I do know that he kept saying he wanted to get his life together. I pray that he can. We left it at us both agreeing that his doctor may give him some good perspective on things when he sees him tomorrow.
* * * *
Someone tagged me recently and I left feedback that I would get to it shortly. Only now I can't seem to find who tagged me and what the meme actually was. A little assistance, please.
* * * *
I want to thank Michelle from "Crow's Feet" for being my 5000th page load customer. To honor her, I will give her a whole post advertisement for her blog, unless she asks me not to. She isn't getting money, though, unless she can talk my wife into not quitting her job.
* * * *
That's it for today. Thanks for stopping by. Don't be strangers.
NEWS FLASH #3
NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Work (thoughts on the job or employer)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (also considered should be contests, reality tv, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
___________________________________________________________
NEWS: We finally had a little rainfall here. Not much, but every little bit helps, I guess. We are in a long drought here and plants and lawns are dying. Even though it rained, there is no mud. The ground had way too much to absorb before mud can form and the rain is over.
ENTERTAINMENT: I can't seem to find any "official" information on "Big Brother 8," which is supposed to debut the first week of July. When one checks the CBS website, there is nothing there that I can find. I don't watch much TV anymore, but BB was one that I allowed as a guilty pleasure each summer.
WORK: Still behind at work. Still hard to concentrate. Each passing day puts more pressure on me to get caught up. That's okay, though, because that pressure will help me get caught up. I am the only one that does what I do at work, so I will be the one that catches up.
SPIRIT: The character Job has been in my mind a lot. Job went through a lot more than I will ever go through. What did he get out of it? He received a nice endgame in his life plus he has a blogger named Jeff looking to him as example lo these many years later. He is one of history's best teachers.
FAMILY: My wife is still gone. She was going to come back last week, but thought better of it. It looks like this will be the week. Come Thursday, she should be here.
LOVE: Tricky question. Real tricky. I can't believe I set myself up for this part of the meme. Love conquers all so maybe I will just leave it at that.
ANXIETY: See "F" and "L" above. Plus, I am being called for jury duty again Thursday (I guess it will be a busy day). My wife also wants to quit her job and work from home and I think it is a deal beater. We can't afford it. Anxiety . . . sheesh!
SPORTS: Indiana University (my alma mater) lost its football coach to cancer. He never really got a chance to settle into his coaching position. He has gone through a lot of treatment, but was always determined to come back to work - till this morning. He was such an inspiriration to his players. I guess cancer is an equal opportunity curser.
HOME: Because of the drought, I hadn't had to cut grass in a couple of weeks. I had a couple of people interested in buying that house, but it all fell through. Back to the drawing board.
______________________________________________________________
That is the news in this blogger's life this week. Maybe next week will be better!
Are You a Friend?
Friendship has been a common theme around my blog circle these days. I have already discussed the topic in general in my post, “For Sale: Friend, Low Mileage, $4000 OBO”. Lately, I have been considering the whole Internet friendship thing – particularly in the blogosphere. That’s YOU guys.What is the status of our friendship?
Many of us are guarded. I have written cryptically in some posts, vague in others. A lot of you do not even have an email address available for people to write you. I am not much better; I set up a gmail account just for my blog life (psycho.wit@gmail.com).
I ask again; what is the status of our friendship? There have been Internet pals over the years that I have gotten chummy with. We have written emails, talked on the phone, and even met. I married one of them – although that isn’t what I set out to do.
Today, it is different. Everyone is guarded – including me. Things are less real. It is as if this is some online video game where we think, “I wonder if Jane is going to respond to my post.” Or, “I hope that Joe wasn’t offended with my feedback.” Shoot, some of us are so stat-crazy that we are fixated on the number of hits that we received on our last entry. I, myself, marveled at my “recent visitor map” page right before I started on this post.
What is the status of our friendship?
Recently, I have been going through some severe challenges in my life. Some of the more thoughtful of you have figured out what it is about to a certain degree. Is it because you care or is it that you love a challenge? Sometimes I get caught up thinking of some of you as more than an organization of letters on my screen and had flashes of “I ought to ask ‘Mary’ what she thinks of this mess.” Or, “John went through this sort of thing, I’ll ask him for his perspective.” Then I think, “What is wrong with you, Jeff? These people are video game characters. Step into the real world.”
What is the status of our friendship?
I guess we aren’t really friends, are we? We are part of an online community. It is kind of like a neighborhood. I am friendly with all my neighbors (that are interested in my friendliness, anyway). Yet, I don’t go to dinner with any of them. None of them know of my troubles, but many are polite enough to comment on today’s events or willing to wish me well when I am sick or perceived troubled, I guess.
Many in the blogosphere are loners. I have read some of your blogs in which you admit this. I, myself, am not a TRUE loner, but I have my loner moments. I do have a number of friends. People call and check on me. I met a friend for lunch even today – a REAL friend who I talked uncryptically about what is going on. However, there are others out there who feel TRULY alone. The blog community is all they have. Is it enough?
I don’t really have any answers. I do know that people need people. You can stay “safe” and still be there for your fellow human being. Reach out to someone today (if you are at all inclined to do so) or let him or her reach out to you. You might even get something out of it yourself.
Today, it is different. Everyone is guarded – including me. Things are less real. It is as if this is some online video game where we think, “I wonder if Jane is going to respond to my post.” Or, “I hope that Joe wasn’t offended with my feedback.” Shoot, some of us are so stat-crazy that we are fixated on the number of hits that we received on our last entry. I, myself, marveled at my “recent visitor map” page right before I started on this post.
What is the status of our friendship?
Recently, I have been going through some severe challenges in my life. Some of the more thoughtful of you have figured out what it is about to a certain degree. Is it because you care or is it that you love a challenge? Sometimes I get caught up thinking of some of you as more than an organization of letters on my screen and had flashes of “I ought to ask ‘Mary’ what she thinks of this mess.” Or, “John went through this sort of thing, I’ll ask him for his perspective.” Then I think, “What is wrong with you, Jeff? These people are video game characters. Step into the real world.”
What is the status of our friendship?
I guess we aren’t really friends, are we? We are part of an online community. It is kind of like a neighborhood. I am friendly with all my neighbors (that are interested in my friendliness, anyway). Yet, I don’t go to dinner with any of them. None of them know of my troubles, but many are polite enough to comment on today’s events or willing to wish me well when I am sick or perceived troubled, I guess.
Many in the blogosphere are loners. I have read some of your blogs in which you admit this. I, myself, am not a TRUE loner, but I have my loner moments. I do have a number of friends. People call and check on me. I met a friend for lunch even today – a REAL friend who I talked uncryptically about what is going on. However, there are others out there who feel TRULY alone. The blog community is all they have. Is it enough?
I don’t really have any answers. I do know that people need people. You can stay “safe” and still be there for your fellow human being. Reach out to someone today (if you are at all inclined to do so) or let him or her reach out to you. You might even get something out of it yourself.
Feedback with a Life of Its Own
This post was originally just a response in the feedback section of my last post. It got to be long so I thought I would just post it here instead. The prerequisite to this post is the last one below. Read it first, if you just got here.
I was tempted to post all the feedback here, too, then I thought if people want to be in the know, they can read it for themselves. I don't want to force-feed it people that are just passing through.
So, if you want to know what I am talking about here, read the last post AND the feedback.
_______________________________________________________________
I really don't know how to respond to you guys (and I use the term loosely). The trouble with vague therapy posts is that everyone has an idea of the circumstances. In the specifics, I would say that people wouldn't get it. However, the mind works and responds to situations with principle, so in that aspect, there is sound advice input here.
Steph: I am sure your responses were no more nonsensical than my posts. Thanks. I can always use another rooter.
Galen: Thank you for validating the usefulness of my insanity. I am glad that you got something out of it.
Loz: I feel we are kindred spirits of sorts. Our circumstances aren't the same, but there is a thinking there that we both are able to tune in to. It is true that I have doubts, just not doubts about truth. The doubts are the courses I thought were right for me.
Michelle: You are right and I have already written about that standpoint in my post, "With No Apologies" on May 29. I wrote, "This painful time I am going through is, no doubt, a huge blessing that I just can't see yet. Therefore, pity is not necessary and congratulations are more in order - as upside down as that sounds. Despite the unlikliness of that from my tattered standpoint, I don't command my God to make sense, I just ask that He be there when I surrender. That is not so much to ask the Almighty who has already commited Himself to that very thing."
I still get it, but it is difficult. Of course, I knew it would be. Still, there is peace and even bliss just around the corner, Stephanie.
I was tempted to post all the feedback here, too, then I thought if people want to be in the know, they can read it for themselves. I don't want to force-feed it people that are just passing through.
So, if you want to know what I am talking about here, read the last post AND the feedback.
_______________________________________________________________
I really don't know how to respond to you guys (and I use the term loosely). The trouble with vague therapy posts is that everyone has an idea of the circumstances. In the specifics, I would say that people wouldn't get it. However, the mind works and responds to situations with principle, so in that aspect, there is sound advice input here.
Steph: I am sure your responses were no more nonsensical than my posts. Thanks. I can always use another rooter.
Galen: Thank you for validating the usefulness of my insanity. I am glad that you got something out of it.
Loz: I feel we are kindred spirits of sorts. Our circumstances aren't the same, but there is a thinking there that we both are able to tune in to. It is true that I have doubts, just not doubts about truth. The doubts are the courses I thought were right for me.
Michelle: You are right and I have already written about that standpoint in my post, "With No Apologies" on May 29. I wrote, "This painful time I am going through is, no doubt, a huge blessing that I just can't see yet. Therefore, pity is not necessary and congratulations are more in order - as upside down as that sounds. Despite the unlikliness of that from my tattered standpoint, I don't command my God to make sense, I just ask that He be there when I surrender. That is not so much to ask the Almighty who has already commited Himself to that very thing."
I still get it, but it is difficult. Of course, I knew it would be. Still, there is peace and even bliss just around the corner, Stephanie.
Discombobulated
That is how I feel right now. I am using my blog today as therapy. This is one of those times where turmoil percolates within and takes over my peace. I know that it is temporary, but I have to play "Beautiful Mind" with myself to stay on top of things.I don't know exactly where it comes from, but it feels like an attack. It feels as though I have been set up. It is as if I have been assigned to drive a car that has bad steering and brakes. No one else believes that there is anything wrong with the car and that I must be making excuses for my bad driving. It has come to the point where I start to question my driving as well when last week I KNEW it was a problem with the car and not me. It is quite maddening.
The mind is such a fragile thing, isn't it? It is a wonder that we all aren't mad. I guess some think that we are.
Still, with all the madness and uncertainty, I still know there is a peace down there. That is where the "Beautiful Mind" technique comes in. I must ignore what I "see" or feel, and concentrate on what I know. The KNOW must be stronger than the "feel".
I have such pity for those who cannot know that the peace is still there. I thank God for that assurance every day.
Thinking Blog Award
Stephanie at Rumedial Ruminations tagged me for the Thinking Blog Award. It originated at this blog. It is flattering because evidently I make her think. As a matter of fact I was the FIRST one she listed (lah-de-dah). She may have not put it in any order, but she didn't say that so I am thinking I am at the top of her list. (Leave me alone; I can use a break). For the record, the ones I tag are in NO PARTICULAR ORDER!1. Stepping Over the Junk by the author with the same name. Her self-titled blog gives people a glimpse of her life and explores her thoughts about everything from her relationships to her art. She has the ability to make you feel as though you are a friend right away.
2. Shan from A New Perspective. This is a relatively new read from me. Already, Shan shows that he is deep in thought and gives unique perspectives to life. You can tell by just reading the feedback he has left on this blog.
3. Charles from Am I Thinking That? Charles gives yet another view of life from a different perspective. He lets his guard down a lot in his blog and that is unique for a male. He has a wide variety of thoughts and he follows those. It is a very thoughtful blog.
4. Sayre from SayreSmiles Sayre is one my oldest (not her age, but been with me in the blogosphere) blog friends. She discusses her family primarily and the stories are almost always laugh inspiring.
5. And Mermaid/Montreal Photographer from Once Upon a Time. This award I must give posthumously (proverbially). She has recently given up her blog for reasons I can't go into. She DID make me think and she and her blog will be missed.
There are others that are worthy, but it is hard to determine whether or not they have won the award already or not. I could have listed a past winner here, but I tried.
Here are the rules of this award meme:
1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).
That was that! Please, remember to tag blogs with real merits, i.e. relative content, and above all - blogs that really get you thinking!
NEWS FLASH #2
It is time for the second installment. I want to give props to Galen at Kudzen for cleaning up the introduction to this meme. She is also participating in this, so check her out. If anyone else is doing it, let me know. I haven't had a chance to check out my blogs lately.NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life:
News (or current events)
Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.)
Work (thoughts on the job or employer)
Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural)
Family (or friends)
Love
Anxiety (a rant or a trouble)
Sports (those who have no interest in sports can be creative such as contests, reality tv, recreation, cards, games), and
Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
______________________________________________________________
NEWS - This really isn't news (the way I think of it), but I would be remiss if I didn't mention Paris Hilton. She was sent to jail, had a meltdown, got released, sent back to jail, and now she is not going to appeal the judges decision to send her back. This whole thing is whether or not celebrities get special treatment. Both sides of the argument say, "Yes." One side says that she was released because the poor dear was disraught over having to be in jail (who isn't?). The other side says that she is handled more harshly because of her celebrity status because anyone else wouldn't do jail time at all for her offenses. I say that the celebrity in her (or at least the money) is giving her special, favorable treatment. She is in a cell alone (despite the fact that the jail is overcrowded), and her visitors do not have to stand in line to visit her (some jail visitors have to wait in line 5 hours or more). I think I could do jail (and perhaps enjoy it) if I had those terms. I wonder if she was de-loused.
ENTERTAINMENT - I can't wait to see "Sicko", the new Michael Moore film about the state of healthcare in this country. From all accounts, even Moore detractors were touched by this film. He was on Oprah last week and you know what that means: record box office receipts for Moore. He can count me as one of the opening night attendees, the Lord willing.
WORK - I was on vacation last week, so that is why I have been remiss about my blogging practices lately. I am used to being on a specific schedule, so when I am off it, my life goes haywire. Therefore, if anyone else is doing NEWSFLASH, this is the reason I don't know it yet (but should by the end of the day - or tomorrow).
SPIRIT - I think about the pain and low times I have been going through lately. Sometimes the going gets so rough that you wonder how anything good can come out of it. Then, I am reminded of Israelites escaping the Egyptians under Moses' leadership. He told them, "Don't be afraid. Just stand where you are and watch the Lord rescue you. The Egyptians that you see today will never be seen again. The Lord himself will fight for you. You won't have to lift a finger in your defense!" That sounds wonderful and everything, but we all know of good people that have perished. Not everyone is an Israelite. However, I do have the comfort in knowing that it isn't MY will but His that is important. Any suffering that I have to endure, I am sure that there is a higher purpose - even higher than my own earthly life. Since I am only going to be on this Earth for a short while, that's okay.
FAMILY - My wife is coming home this week after being gone on the west coast for two weeks. It will be good to have her back.
LOVE - Love is more than a feeling. As a matter of fact, the feeling is probably overrated. Love, to me, is about commitment and sacrifice. The feeling is just gravy.
ANXIETY - I am a little anxious about the reunion with my wife. Things are going to change in our marriage, and I worry that we both will not believe that it is changing for the better.
SPORTS - I am a horse racing fan. I am not the typical fan, I could care less about the betting aspects, I just love horses and a good story. This year, for all three triple crown races, my second choice won. There wasn't a real good story this year, except that a philly (Rags to Riches) won the Belmont Stakes Saturday for the first time since 1905. That's a good story, I guess.
HOME - I hired my nephew and his girlfriend to clean up and landscape my mother's lawn. Those two are the most anti-lazy people I ever met. I hope they end up getting married and settle on a farm. They are hard workers and they care about doing things right. They work well as a team, too. My mom has an old tree that was inundated with poison ivy. The girlfriend isn't allergic so she was all over that tree climbing it cutting and pulling, while my nephew comes behind her to do the heavy stuff (although she does wield a mean chainsaw). This stuff probably doesn't mean too much to anyone else, but I was darn impressed.
Hopefully, this week will be closer to normal with the blogging. However, we can never boast of tomorrow, can we?
Slap on the Wristbands
I mentioned in NEWSFLASH (below) that my church is wearing wristbands to reduce the complaining and arguing in our lives. It hasn't gone so well for me. I really didn't think I complain so much, but I guess I do. Not only that, my memory is kind of faulty so that doesn't help.
I do tend to complain. What is worse, is that I repeat the same complaint over and over and over and over again. That is horrible to hear, I know. I got it from my sister, I guess. She does the same thing. It gets to become habit which is really one of the worst one that one can have.
Here is an example: Yesterday, I took off of work and had a whole list of things that I needed to attend to. I needed to cut and trim the grass, work on my office, and clean do some maintenance on the house that I have been forever trying to sell before showing it last night to a couple of people.
Nothing ever goes as planned. I am at my mother's house to check on her and make sure she had her meds and breakfast when the kitchen faucet breaks. The thing wouldn't shut off. So, I had to go by a new one and spend all day fixing that which doesn't come easy for me. Then, I BARELY had time to go do the maintenance thing at the house before the prospective buyers arrived. After showing the house, I came back to my mom's where my sister was and set out to get my name in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the record holder for saying, "I'm tired," more times in an hour's period than anyone else ever has. This was only rivaled by my sister, who was trying to set her own record with, "My back hurts."
What great company would the two of us would have been. The only good news is that we rid my mother's house of flys because they all flew out of the house screaming from hearing all the incessant bellyaching.
So you would have thought that I would have been switching that wristband from wrist to wrist like a nervous habit. Nope, I forgot to put it on. I definitely wasn't going to sleep with the thing on because, you know, it isn't very comfortable. However, my poor memory prevented me from putting it on. Shoot, I even forgot this morning. Forgetting is pretty convenient, I must say. However, it WILL be on when I get back. I am still going to do this.
NEWS FLASH
My posts have been somewhat serious lately. I need a break from all that so I decided to make up a a tool (I guess it could blossom as a meme if others are interested). I have also been thinking about combining the two blogs (this one and "The Present Truth"). It just seems too hard to write both. I think it would have been different had I not had to go through some things in my life that took my thoughts in the spiritual realm anyway. Sometimes it is too hard to separate my thinking. Maybe it will be different when I come out on the other side of this tunnel. What do you think? I seldom ask specifically for feedback, but I would appreciate some on this.On to my "NEWS FLASH". I made this thing up because I liked the idea of tracking my thoughts on a week-to-week basis. It should be relatively quick and easy yet it should be interesting to the point where I can see how my thoughts and interests have changed over time. Ultimately, it should be done once per week (or bi-weekly).
If anyone else is interested in trying this, let me know. This is how I stack it up:
NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life: News (or current events), Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.), Work (thoughts on the job or employer), Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural) Family, Love, Anxiety (a rant or a trouble) Sports (those who have no interest in sports can be creative such as contests, reality tv, recreation, cards, games), and Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
NEWS FLASH is basically news or thoughts that may be changing over time - an update or an evolution of thought that covers a multiple of topics. It is what makes a blogger tick and it is the reason why we read. So, with that in mind, I came up with NEWS FLASH as an acronym that stands for what is going on in life: News (or current events), Entertainment (movies, TV, celebrity, etc.), Work (thoughts on the job or employer), Spirit (thoughts on God and/or the supernatural) Family, Love, Anxiety (a rant or a trouble) Sports (those who have no interest in sports can be creative such as contests, reality tv, recreation, cards, games), and Home (house, yard, or even another family type of thought.
Another good thing about NEWS FLASH is that it can be used as an introduction to a subsequent post this week. After all, these are things that are on the mind. I think it will help organize thoughts.
NEWS - I have been tracking the run for the White House. Last night, the Democrats debated. I was actually impressed with Hilary. Right now, I am giving her a slight edge over Obama. I will be interested to see what Fred Thompson will bring to the discussion. My vote is still up for grabs.
ENTERTAINMENT - I saw "Rocky Balboa" last night on video. It was okay, but I preferred the alternate ending included on the DVD.
WORK - It has been hard for me to concentrate at work lately - that bloody tunnel.
SPIRIT - We have a project that we are doing at church (starting yesterday). They gave us these rubber wristbands to put on to remind us not to complain or argue (for 21 days). If I catch myself complaining or arguing, I am supposed to change wrists. I find the rubber a little too hot to wear all the time, though (Excuse me, while I switch wrists now).
FAMILY - My sister really needs some help. She is disabled and can't work, but government bureaucracy is holding her down. In the meantime, she is running out of financial support from the rest of the family. The dollar can stretch only so far.
LOVE - Here is a stretch for "love", but I have discovered that I have a crush on Sarah Silverman. I hate it, though, because she is kind of vulgar and that is not my type of girl. What are ya gonna do?
ANXIETY - I have to cross the Ohio River to get to and from work everyday. They are closing parts of the bridges to paint and do maintenance. So, they have decided to put THREE lanes on the southbound bridge and have just one open on the northbound one. The three, too narrow, lanes have two going south and one going north inviting head on collisions because of the narrow lanes. It is a huge headache (switching wrists again).
SPORTS - I won on America's Bingo Night on ABC last week. I will know today if I won a trip to the Bellmont Stakes in New York, $50,000 in cash, or just bragging rights on my blog saying that I bingo'd. It sounds kind of pathetic, doesn't it? Maybe not so pathetic if I win one of those prizes, I guess.
HOME - I have the best lead yet on selling my house. I am showing it tomorrow to two sisters and a brother. I think they are all through with marriage and kids and decided to just hole up together for the rest of their lives. That is fine with me as long as they can get a mortgage.
There you have it, the first installment of NEWSFLASH. It beats the heck out of all the cryptic junk, no?
For Sale: Friend, Low Mileage, $4000 OBO
Friendship is important to me. Isn't it funny when we catch ourselves assigning our values to others and then becoming shocked when it is revealed that others do not share those beliefs? This has happened to me recently about friendship.
For some people, friendships are like cars. You get one, are excited about it for a while, and then you let it go for something else. That's not me. If you are a friend of mine, you will ALWAYS be a friend of mine unless your behavior is toxic and it makes being around you unhealthy. Even then, the breaking of the relationship is only a step to reconciliation.
However, to wily nily end friendships is absurd to me. My best friend from my childhood is also named Jeff. I haven't talked to him since sometime in high school. Yet, if he called me today and wanted to meet, I would exhaust every effort to meet him. Why? Because he is a friend of mine and that is enough.
I have another friend who just flat out gets on my nerves. When he calls me, I cringe. He talks incessantly and will not allow you to get off the phone. I could say to him, "Look, this friendship has ran its course. It is not doing it for me." I dont' do that, however. Why? BECAUSE HE IS A FRIEND OF MINE. He has his faults as do I. However, there is something stronger there than to just be dismissed just because he sucks the life out of me sitting on the bloody phone.
How some people can go through life and burn bridges, I don't know. It is their life and they can live it any way they choose, but when they try to transfer that value (or lack thereof) to me, that's where I have problems. When someone asks me, "Why is keeping that friend so important to you?", I consider that a nonsense question.
As I mentioned earlier in this post, I have been urged to end a friendship because someone else has a problem with it (and not really a valid problem). I thought to myself, "what am I, in eighth grade, going around breaking up with friends?" Maybe I should toilet paper my soon ex-friend's house as a way of saying, "goodbye". Sheesh! Some of you may disagree with me about this issue. As a matter of fact, I have been surprised by the number of people who do tend treat friendships like cars. However, it doesn't matter if we disagree to me. I won't break up with you over it.
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