I was thinking about life and death. Including my own death and how it would affect other people. I am not going to spend time on the people who are closest to me. I would assume they would feel some kind of loss, even if it is only because something that they are used to is now missing.
No, I was thinking about those who read this blog, other Internet friends or those whom I marginally knew in high school or college. Those old acquaintances would see my name in the paper and think, "Hmm . . . that's a shame. What's for dinner?" I don't pretend to matter to too many people. It is a sad thought, but it is reality. This isn't self-pity, it is pretty much true for everyone, don't you think?
Now, for those of you who read my blog - you guys probably wouldn't even know that I was gone. One day you may be going through some old email or something or maybe you were reading someone else's blog and a thought comes to mind, "I wonder why Jeff quit writing on here. Oh well . . . what's for dinner?"
However, I am sure that I matter to some folks and that's not too bad. I may not be Mr. Popular on all fronts, but I am also no Eleanor Rigby.
Next time you see the obituaries in your local paper. Give an extra thought for each name you read. Those people's passing is important to someone and people are hurting and missing them. Or, if you get the impression they had no one, an Eleanor Rigby-type, give them a few extra seconds of thought, will you? For they represent ALL of us. Those people are important to the souls of humanity.
31 comments:
This is a beautiful post, Jeff. I've had similar thoughts myself about people who die and the people who are left behind. I would imagine it to be more difficult when there are only one or two survivors, like some of the elderly. I definitely hold thoughts of compassion and wishes for peace for them in my heart.
By the way, I would miss you very much. You're my friend, of course I would.
You reminded me of a writing some one had placed in a newspaper years and years ago...that my grandma had cut it out and kept in her mirror. When she passed I did the same. I read it everyday....
Wonderful thoughts Jeff and true enough.
I find myself reading obits and a thought passes of wonder of the WHO.
I know I would miss you and I have lost friends from this space...
Wow...what a great post.
You know what is odd? I too, have thought about my own death and how it would affect others. And, yes, it's odd...I did think about the blog too. Would anyone even know? Probably not. They'd just think I stopped writing.
Jeff, it's good to be back. (back from the honeymoon..)
I still can't figure out how to get my link to work properly since I changed my URL and blog name, but if you can't link back properly, for now, try:
www.youmeandfourkids.blogspot.com
Michelle
I think about this sometimes, in blogland, moreso when I come across a blog that has been paused for a year, or 6 mos. I did read a blog once and was scanning the comments and one of the comments was from someone who personally knew the person and announced that she had been killed in a car accident the previous weekend. And then, there were about 400 comments since kind of in tribute to her. It was quite something. A favorite blogger of mind paused for about a month and I asked a few bloggers I correspond with if they knew if she was okay...one of them had seen her around Facebook and the other said they had just heard from her and she had been just swamped with life. And now she is writing again. But still, I thnk about it. And I read obituaries and always think of the people and their families.
I have thought about this too...and told my hubby to put a comment on my blog so that everyone would know I kicked the bucket.
I'm thoughtful like that.
Stephanie: I am sure a lot of bloggers think about that (See above) :) Thanks, for your friendship. I feel the same about you.
Jodi: It is nice being surprised by old memories. Thanks for sharing that.
Mermaid Michelle: Thanks and welcome back! What I do on other blogs is to choose "other" and put my name and my blog url in the spaces provided. I don't get my mug on the screen, but no one has complained. lol
Stepping Over: Sorry to hear about your blogger friend. I am sure when that happens once, it reoccurs in your mind every time there is a leave of absence from a friend.
Nikki: Yep, you are a thoughtful cuss! lol. BTW - I was touched by your last blog entry (about cousin and worker bee).
Awakening. Somehow the word came to my mind while reading this great post.
Jeff, I'll honestly miss you if that ever happens.
Hi, Jeff - thank you for your condolences on my blog... We are facing the same issues with my cousin's blog. She posted as MySmile on Xanga and now we're wondering how to conclude her blog. Her sister is going to try to get in touch with the administration to get the info so she can post a "she died" announcement then close it down after a while.
Somewhere in your important papers, you should make note of this blog, your user/passwords so that whoever is left behind can wrap things up for you.... I'm going to do that myself.
Mother Hen: Thanks so much. It is amazing how people in the blogosphere become attached to each other.
Nikki: My heart still goes out to you.
You know death is always tougher for the people left behind - as for blogosphere, we've certain people we have on our blog rolls, that we've bonded with through our words, and we check their blogs everyday and actually miss them when we don't find a new post and then go and read one of their old ones - so its a bit unfair to think that when one on our roll dies we wouldn't notice!
You'd be missed... for sure
Hi Jeff...
Really interesting post. I'm glad you stopped by my blog. We DO have a lot in common. Are you a teacher, too?
Stop by again,
J.
US radio presenter Garrison Keillor said -
"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
You're kind of freaking me out.
Seriously. You've had us worried as it is with posts hinting at troubles at home and troubles inside of you.
Now a post about your death.
Stop being so vague. Please. Let us help.
Well since you are obviously still alive, i shld let u know i enjoy reading your blog...and also happy you are a christian so death aint the end
The 8 facts are done with and i got 8 new guineapig blogs lol.
hi jeff... i am a little slow on the pick up,,, but i sure am glad you are back... sounds like things are progressing nicely... even if you are waxing about death today....
i have you back in my reader,, and i am glad to be here.....
I'd miss reading your thoughts, even if it wasn't death that took you away. Of the people who get to know you outside of the computer, you'd probably be surprised how many would feel the loss of you if you died.
I think there are very few people who would miss me ~ I have no kids, I live far from my family anyway and I don't have a large group of friends here ~ but I think those few would miss me a lot, and that's enough.
Random: Yeah, people miss reading the blog. Sure. I mean there are number of replies to this very post. I wonder if they miss it as something to amuse or if they would miss the person. I mean, I truly miss "Seinfeld", but I marginally wonder what the cast is doing these days.
HoosierGirl: I will stop by again. I am not in a teaching position, but I could be. I got an offer that I couldn't refuse away from schools.
Loz: I love that quote. :)
WriteJerry: I have thought about your feedback here more than I thought of anyone else's - maybe EVER. It is worthy of a post all its own that will be coming in the days ahead.
Friend of God: Thanks for playing. And you are right about Christianity. To live is Christ, to die is gain.
You know Jeff, this is Sunday morning and this post was the perfect thing to make my day, because ive been thinking about this all the time as well....but then no one knows when one will die.. and death fears me alot
Paisley: Me, too. I missed you being around. Tell someone you love 'em, and out she goes! lol
Chosha: Thanks. You know, I was thinking about the people "outside". A few years ago, someone at my workplace did away with himself. People did the obligatory collection for flowers, mumbled a few things to each other, and the that was that. At my job, I work with NO ONE. I am my own department. I see people, talk to a few, but am not around anyone too much of the time. I suspect it would be something in line of my departed fellow worker.
As for you, all the people in the roadshow would mourn like the dickens, I suspect. ;)
Obinwanne: I am glad that you got something out of the post. We fear death because the process is so unknown and no one has come back to tell us about the experience. As my faith builds, my fear wanes. I don't know of your faith, but I do know as for me in mine, that when death approaches, God takes the fear away.
Your sense of empathy is a special characteristic. I once read a local article about some kid that died over the weekend and nothing registered until my wife told me that afternoon that a friend of my son's had died. You're right, we overlook those names as just print when they are lives and lives lost.
Have a great weekend!
Chris
My Blog
Hell, I'd miss ya. Maybe we could set up a Blogger Buddy System to keep track of each other?
I know what you're saying, though, seriously. It's tough to contemplate.
Hey Jeff I've just given you a Schmooze and Thinking Blogger award
I would totally notice you were dead, especially if I had you on my RSS reader. If I don't get new posts from someone after a month or two, I generally delete the link. Cruel world.
Thank you Jeff. I mean that.
Sayre: I hope things are going well with you "tidying up" things. Sorry, this is a late response - I kind of got lost in the shuffle of all the feedback. :(
Chris: Thanks. However, I do have to remind myself. Life is so distracting and self-absorbing.
Jimmy: A buddy system . . . Interesting idea. Work on that and give me a full report. ;)
Loz: Ooh, my SECOND "Thinking Blogger" award. I will start a collection. The Schmooze one is new, though. Thank you so much. I am humbled by your consideration.
Rhea: You would miss me? Long enough to delete me from your RSS Reader? lol Yeah, that does sound like part of the cruel world, doesn't it? ;)
Nikki: You betcha!
Honestly, I read about a tenth of a newspaper. Death is one of those things that I have difficulty accepting.
I guess we don't really get affected when a life is lost, unless its someone we know. There is this one customer at work though, who I used to see everyday. His name is Sam, he used to always come in with a smile and say, "hi Charlie, how ya doin?" His wife passed on a few years back and ever since, I have seen him less and less. I always worry about him, and think about him, because he is so nice to me. In fact Sam showed us (everyone at the desk) a picture of himself when he was younger. Now you make me want to find out his last name, to keep tabs on him in case he does pass on.
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